Graham turns 3. Turned 3. It already happened. I'm just a month late.

Graham,

Happy 3, little man.

I almost typed 4. I feel like you should be 4. You act like you're 4. You seem older. You want to be older. You're... our middle child. So I feel like you should be older, yet younger at the same time. It's all just very confusing, and I am sitting here at the kitchen table at 10 at night, 1 month late, writing you your birthday later. I don't know if that is supposed to mean something, but I tell you what baby boy, you are the LIGHT of our world. You are the laughter in our home, the spirit that brings everything to life, and the personality that makes us all melt. And I mean all of us. Anyone that meets you always has so many fun things to say about you, and I have a feeling that we are looking into the future right before our eyes. You're just going to be a taller, bigger, more handsome version of who you are now, and that is a big stinking sweetheart with a heart of gold. You love, you love really big, and your feelings, when they get hurt, completely get stomped. You want to be held, and snuggled, and you absolutely adore attention from any avenue out there. You are such a boy, in each and every way, and we are just so utterly blessed to call you our baby boy. Thank you for allowing us to not be perfect. Thank you for allowing us to make mistakes and to teach us to be more patient. Thank you for showing us that life isn't about being serious and caring about keeping things from breaking... it's about living and having fun. These three years have been just wonderful, and we are so looking forward to the many more years down the road.

So.

What have you been up to at the age of 3.

Well, to start with, you are all boy. 

This picture is a prime example. Mom, pictures are no fun, this is completely boring, and I would completely rather be perusing around in the forest:

And there is absolutely no one in this world that you love more than your sissy. You claim that it is mommy, but I know and can see by the way that you look at her and play with her that she is your everything. You look up to her. You do anything she says for you to do. You want to be playing with her all hours of the day {and do}, and you like/dislike anything that she likes or doesn't like. She is your best friend, and I hope that the bond that the two of you have created never changes.

Always have to have sleeves rolled up and pants rolled up. Always. You would much rather be in underwear or plain naked, and definitely prefer the summer clothing over wintering. The less layers, the better. Actually you are also not a fan of socks or shoes. I don't even know why we even try to put them on you when we get in the car, because you immediately take them off.

Speaking of clothes, you are not a fancy little dude. You are my tee and basketball shorts kind of kid. The nice clothes are only allowed on Church days, birthdays, or special occasions. So, rare. Remind me why we buy them again?

The way we know when you are up to no good: you either give us that little smirk, or you put your hands together behind your back and walk away, periodically turning around to see if we are still looking.

You are sneaky. Very sneaky. Your day revolves around how to be destructive/make us upset. It's not malicious in any way, you are really trying to get a laugh out of us, and most days it works.

However, I am certainly not a fan of the sticking anything and everything in the toilet business.

You jump. A lot. And off of anything and everything.

You love all things cars, trucks, airplanes, super heroes, and transformers. But? You will totally play baby or with stuffed animals any time your sissy requests.

Paw patrol is a big hit right now as well.

You have to hold my hair {or someone's hair} when you go to sleep. You love to play with it, and the way that I know that you are getting tired {besides your eyes drifting in and out of sleep}, is you will begin to play with your own hair.

Loves anything sissy loves. Hates anything sissy hates. It could be your favorite meal of the day, but if sissy says "ew that's gross," you quickly push your plate away and say the exact same thing.



You adore your sweet P, but she is definitely old news to you. Until she can walk and talk, I think she is just fun to run up and kiss every once in a while... that and push her little rocker around in the hallway as though it is a car... {with her in it}.

You are really into telling us lately what is for boys and what is for girls, which we have no idea where you got that from as we have never said those things, placed certain toys or books or such into categories of gender, and really could care less about typical stereotypes. So it is very interesting to us that you are able to identify this in your own way.

May just be an aspiring musician. LOVES to sing. Loves to bang on drums {whatever he makes into drums}, and play the guitar. We have some great videos that I am sure you will love to see 10 years down the road.

Extremely coordinated. Great soccer ball kicker. Has a nice throw. And can do a mad twirl! Yes, I said it.

You have to nap. Honestly, I actually try to prevent you from napping, as I know it makes it more difficult come bed time, but you make yourself nap by just going on the couch and falling asleep. It's so funny to me, as I had the complete opposite problem with your sister when she was your age {trying to force her to nap}, and here you are wanting to do it on your own. You are definitely just like your papa in that sense.

You hate roller coasters. For now, I hope. I think you will probably not be a fan of heights {just like your mama}.

We plan on starting you in soccer this spring, and you are so excited about it. I know you are more than ready.

Right now your favorite shows are: paw patrol, robo bots, and jake and the neverland pirates.

You still sleep with us, and we are so okay with it... because you are quite one of the best cuddlers out there!

You really don't love learning, but you do learn. You pick up things easily, but really hate showing off what you know, and that is totally okay as well. So far you know your ABC's, 1-30 {not perfect}, most of your shapes, all of your colors, some sight words, some Russian words, how to spell your name, and you talk in paragraphs with a pretty high vocabulary.

But, like I tell your sissy, what is most important for your papa and I, is that you love and you love big. Not your academics, or how good you are in sports. But rather, the way that you treat others, the way that you help those in need, and showing others grace. You're only 3, but you already have a big heart and we hope to grow on that and to teach you to be a very kind gentleman.

But for now, keep jumping off couches, singing at the top of your lungs, and making us laugh so hard we cry. We love you LOOOOOTS and we will always work hard at showing you just how much.

Happy 3 little man!

Vacation video

I make these every year, and every year they get longer and sweeter. More family members, more babies, more laughs, and more fun. I know I will cherish these greatly down the road. I already do.




Our vacation 2015

An update on life

Boy has this little space of mine been neglected or what. I am sure by now everyone is convinced that my blogging days are over, but I'm over here trying to talk myself into all these grand plans for my writing. I want to open up this space for myself to let go, to dream through words, to connect, and to grow. Reading my writing often times lets me reflect on things, and in a way is a form of therapy. Yet, I haven't found that balance yet. The balance between working full time, to taking care of the kids full time, to growing my photography business, and to remember to just sit back, relax, and enjoy life.

But that also doesn't mean that I have to give up right? Surely, I can dig myself out of this blogging funk and find myself through the process. Even if that means that the kids are throwing legos, and the baby is essentially crawling all over me, and I'm avoiding answering emails. But I'm sitting here and I'm going to write it out gosh darn it.

So. Life.

Man life has been good. We have had such an amazing year. A great year. With a lot of hard days though. My kids are getting to an age where the parenting thing is always making me question myself. Yesterday was one of those days. Where I felt like I failed. I yelled a lot, I said things I wish I hadn't said, and I didn't love enough. I was quick to respond, and my patience was on a different continent.

But we are all healthy. My kids are really happy. Andrew is happy finally at work. I'm doing new things at mine. And we are together. Every day that I wake up, I just think, thank God we are all together. If I can just keep this thought tucked away in my back pocket wherever I go, all throughout the day, then perhaps I can learn to let go of the things that really don't matter.

Christmas was amazing. We had the best time at my parents house, enjoyed the best Russian food ever {my mom is the most amazing cook}, shared great laughs, and then ended the night in our Christmas jammies {EVERYONE}, and opening up the presents. It was the best night. We stayed there, and then int he morning we were off, singing Christmas carols and wondering if Santa did in fact make a stop at our house. He did. And he was good to us. And again, there was something so special about this Christmas. Not sure if it was because Polina was with us this year, the fact that the kids are at such fun ages, or maybe because we just savored every moment and did not feel rushed one bit to go anywhere. It was truly memorable.

Elliana wants to go to school next year. Like really really wants to. I've always said that we will follow lead with our kids' desires when it comes to homeschooling, so I guess we will most likely have a kid in school next year and that is all bizarre to me. I mean, we are going from being with her all hours to the day, to being gone the majority of the day 5 days a week. I just don't think I will be able to handle it.....

I have a 3 year old now. Oh yes, can you believe that. Graham man is officially 3, and I promise I am working on his 3 year post and have not {and will not} forget about my sweet little man. He's wonderful though. So special. Mama's boy through and through. Papa lover for all things fun. And just a destructible little thing.

I also have an almost 4 month old. Here in less than 2 weeks, Polina will be 1/3 of the way through the year, and that just seems shocking to me honestly. She is holding her head up high, sleeping through the night {11-12 hours without waking}, and drooling like a monster which leads me to believe she may have teeth sooner than later. The kids are in love with her, and her sweet giggles just steal our hearts all day long.

I made our vacation video. It's 21 minutes long. It will definitely be a post for another day.

Work is work. I'm still working full time nights in the critical care unit, and although I have talked about going part time, I'm still not there yet. The schedule is still working out ok for me {in other words, the lack of sleep is still going strong}, and well one day I will have time to sleep I guess. I'm doing charge and rapid response now {very interesting}, as well as precepting, so it's nice to have a change of pace on some days.

My photography business is growing. I mean blooming. In fact, I'm pretty much booked up fall 2016 already. I have six weddings booked, and 2 pending currently. I mean what is going on here? I'm excited to share that I will also be buying my dream camera. This is the biggest reason for my absence around here.

I'm going to leave it there, because I have a few photography clients to get back to, and I think I have rambled enough. Not to mention, Andrew should be home any minute with what I hope, wine in his hands!

Happy weekend you all.

My sister turns 21 next week!!!!!!!