Boys will love on you. Guest Post

Because I turn my blog into a book, I like to make sure that the guest posts that I write for other bloggers make it on my blog as well. So I apologize if you have already read this post. You get to see it again :)

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As you all know, we have a little baby on board. A baby that will make us a family of four. A baby that will make my current baby a BIG SISTER. A baby that has a little something different than my daughter does down there. I, a I-got-this-girl-thing-figured-out-mama now have to discover the world of boy. Which means? It's like being a first-time-mama all over again. Saying all this out load makes it more real than ever before. Does it mean that I believe it {the whole being a mama of two deal} or that it's sunk in? Absolutely not. Does it mean that I'm not ready? Absolutely not.

I'm more ready than ever before. But there are things, I have to admit, that I'm not ready for. You see, I have a really really REALLY close bond with my daughter. I guess every mom does with their child. But I'd like to think that we have something extra special. In her 21 months of life, I sitll get caught in the moment with her, each and every day. Wrapped up around her little finger. Squeezing her so tight and giving her one too many kisses. I ask my husband on a daily basis... is this normal? How much I love her? And he laughs at me. But I'm being serious. I look at her and I just feel like I see something so incredibly special between us. And the way she loves me is completely out of this world.

So am I ready to share this strong bond that we have together with another child? I'm not. Not saying that I won't, or that I will do it with hesitation. That's not the case. But am I ready to? It's just hard for me to imagine.

Hard to imagine what it will feel like to have less time with her. To not carry her around the house all the time. To have two little bodies to have to snuggle, love, teach, bathe, feed, and read night time stories to. It's hard to imagine that I will love someone even half as much as I love her. Do I think I will? Of course. But it's just hard to imagine.

So when people tell me that "boys love their mamas" and "there's nothing like a bond between a mama and her son" it kind of, sort of, really kills me a little inside. In fact, I tear up right now just thinking about that. Why? Because I know that my daughter's love is bigger than I would have ever dreamed of. She's a mama's girl through and through. And how much I love her? Is probably a little disgusting to some. So to think that someone could compare her love to my son's? Is just again, hard to imagine.

Don't get me wrong, there is no doubt that a son loves his mama a lot. But I'm here to tell you today that there's also nothing like a love and bond that my daughter and I have together. There's no doubt in my heart that my son will love me as much as she does. Or, I, love him as much as I love Elliana. But to compare one to another? To say that he will love me more or have a more special bond? Is just too much.

And trust me, I know people don't mean any harm by saying that. I think it just comes out naturally. And I get it. I tell people boys are fun all the time because my nephew is a blast.

It's you know... those hormones. Those mama bear claws. That protective side coming out.

My daughter is my world. And forever will be. Yes, I will have to share that world here in a short few months, but that will not change the bond between us. Not one bit. Her brother isn't even here yet and people are already dismissing the love that we have. I won't believe it for one second, and I won't hear it for one minute.I don't even know why gender has anything to do with a mother's bond with her children. And I'm here to tell you, it doesn't.

So being a mama of two? Is already turning out to be harder than I thought.

And?

My son isn't even here yet.