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Tuesday, March 12, 2013

One of Many Letters to My Son.

2/15/13

Dear Graham,

Hi baby doll. Hi sweet precious prince of mine. I felt the urge to write to you. Today. This hour. Right now. As your sister and you lay next to me napping with your little arms and legs peeking out from the blankets, I just can't help but soak this all in. And reflect.

On the past {almost} two months. Our lives since you entered this world. On how much you have changed us and everything we know.

And today, something hit me while I was carrying you around the house planting big fat kisses on your squeezable cheeks and I looked into those deep eyes of yours.

I love you more today. I do.

Your papa and I talk about this often. How the more and more days and weeks that go by, the more we  realize how much we love you.

I don't want you to think that this means we didn't love you before. Or that we loved you less yesterday. It just means that our hearts, somehow, grew even bigger for you today.

As your personality unfolds, we feel like we are getting to know you more. You're a serious little guy you know. Sometimes... a lot of the times... we wish we knew what you were thinking. What you felt when you looked at us. What it means to you when you hear our voices.

But the unknown is nice as well.

Sometimes I get lost in your eyes, just staring deep inside them. Sometimes I just hold your little hands and give you an extra little squeeze. Sometimes I'll give you one hundred kisses in a row just because I know that's the only way you will understand right now.

Just how much we love you.

I'd like to think that you know how strong our love is for you. How much you mean to this little family of ours. How special, unique, and perfect you are.

And if you don't know? If you are ever unsure and doubtful? Rest assured,... we will spend the rest of our lives showing you, and your sister, just how much you mean to us.

Words are one thing you know. I could sit here for hours and hours and write about how much I love you and your sister, and every little detail on what you two do to my heart. But words mean nothing unless they are shown. And I want you to know this, that my number one goal in life is for you both to always, every day of your lives, know how much your papa and I love you guys. And the best way for us to do this is to show you.

I think love is a powerful thing. It can get you through the struggles in life, through the hurdles in the road, the obstacles that we encounter. I want to give you kids this powerful tool. That no matter what you may be going through... hold onto the love.

And most importantly, know what true love looks like. The kind of love that will never let you down.

I know you may not understand all of this to its fullest potential until you are grown. Perhaps not until you are a parent yourself. But one day, you will understand. And when that day comes? Call me. Call me and say...

"Hey, Ma... remember when you wrote that letter..."

"Yes, baby, I do. "

With love,
Mama