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Monday, April 15, 2013

I write Deep

I feel.... here I go starting with that line again...
I feel as though I have been writing deep around these parts. This blog of mine.
I feel as though I have to space out my "deep" posts that I have scheduled. Which happens to be a lot.

Why? Because I think to myself that people may be turned off by the deepness, the seriousness, the rainbows and butterflies...
And then I catch myself saying, "why do you care." Why do you care if people are turned off? If this doesn't exactly tickle their fancy. Why do you care if people would prefer to read sarcasm, humor, or rant of some sorts?

Why.

You know, that is a great question, and it is something I think about often. Thank you for asking. Every time I push back a post that I wrote from the heart, week after week, I find myself asking why not just hit the publish button. You know, because I did write it. It's there. It will be seen at some point in time. Why not now?

Because.

Because I don't want people to think I'm too deep. Because I'm not... Yet, I am.

You see, this is my little journal in a sense. Think about it. Think of when you kept a journal in middle school. Or high school. Or heck, maybe you still go old school style and keep one now. GOOD FOR YOU.

But think about. Do you remember writing in your journal your favorite oufits of  the day? Do you remember writing what you ate, what shows you watched this week {and what you thought of them}. your favorite products you purchased, and what exactly you thought about this celebrity breaking up with this one?

No? The great thing about blogging, is that there is no format to follow. There are no rules. If you want to post outfits, go for it. If you want to post recipes, go for it. If design is your thing and decorating is your style, well gosh darn it, you better be writing all about it.

So if writing deep is your thing, if writing to yourself, your children, and your husband is your thing, then I guess you have every right, right? So why not go for it.

Because this? This little space? It is my journal. It is that journal underneath the bed that has somehow landed in the hands of the public. Your hands. Your eyes.

And somehow I didn't run anyway from embarrassment or fear of being judged. Somehow I'm still here.

Yes, I am deep here. I am deep here often. But the reason is because that is how I define this space during this time in my life. As my journal.

If you met me, you would probably be shocked as to how opposite I am in real life. How sarcastic I am. How carefree I am. How funny {maybe not} I can be.

Because at the end of the day, I come to this place... not for a popularity contest, not to be viewed as funny or "cool"...but to simply write out my thoughts. To think through them. To somehow grow because of them.

It's a sort of therapy to me.

To lay all my thoughts out and close a chapter. Express something that has been heavy on my heart. And to remember. To be able to hold onto these thoughts, feelings, and memories forever.

So yeah, I get deep around here. But you know... that's okay.
My "deep" is your fashion, your recipe, and your DIY.

It's my journal, my outlet, my heart spilled out on the screen. And I know I will cherish these memories down the road.

I guess, what I'm trying to say is, this is me and who I am.  

I write deep.

11 comments:

  1. I usually follow along quietly here and on instagram but I just wanted to let you know that you are one of the very few blogs that I constantly read and love... and it's because you write from the heart! I always find myself spending a little too much time catching up on your posts that I missed. You're kids are so adorable and they are beyond lucky to have this to look back on one day. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for sharing your life and writing from the heart! I hope to be half the mother and wife that you are someday!

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  2. This is amazing and I for one 100% agree, put it out there and why not- who is someone to judge you or what you feel, say, write? I need to be braver to do this myself- to put it on the line. I am so proud of you and I hope you feel proud too! :) loves to you! Many a time have I been comforted or felt sweet feelings by what you share, thanks for being a great _____ fill in the blank and a great blogger and friend.

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  3. I adore your blog even though I don't comment often. But I do want to say, I agree completely with this post. The "deep" is what keeps me coming back.

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  4. Kelle Hampton wrote about this exact same thing a couple days ago and I read it today. People like to read about gloom and doom so much that we're almost like apologizing for good days - she said people tell her how good she looks after having her baby (which I know you can relate to) and she said she's always like, 'oh you should see what's underneath!' but why? Why do we need to apologize for looking good or having a happy family. We don't. And we don't need to apologize for being deep or smart. Except I catch myself doing it too. Maybe we should practice a polite, 'thank you', when someone tells us we look good without an apology? I think I'll work on it.

    Great post. So much truth.

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  5. I love your blog, probably because I write deep too. And? I have another deep, faith-based post rolling around in my head but like you, I am trying to think of something fluffy to post first. Why do we do this to ourselves?

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  6. that's why i write...a digital journal so my kids can look back and see what was going on...and also see my views of the world...

    ie today's post...hubs says not to post things that i get passionate about...but i don't blog to please ppl...i blog to let it out! haha
    (i'm sure my today's post will either tick ppl off or get a few here here! from ppl)

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  7. I know I've worried about this same thing. I wonder if my deep posts come off as "poor me" or just not interesting for the people who like to read along. But have found that most people want to know the things that they can relate to, not always just the funny. I love seeing parts of a writers heart because I feel like that's when the best writing shines through. Write away! We will be here

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  8. Just last night I thought to myself "I can't schedule these posts for the same week, they're too deep!" I kid you not. You just spoke to me mama! Thanks for sharing these thoughts and rocking whatever it is that makes you happy here in your blogeshpere. I'm going to take this little nugget of info and keep it close at hand :)

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  9. I struggle with this on my blog, even though I am just getting started...you blog inspires me to be me. To really make this blog about our journey, and sometimes, that is deep.

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  10. I always enjoy reading your posts. You keep it interesting and real. And, yes, I am still old school and keep a journal for each of my three kiddos! :) Our blog is our journal, too, and my 8 year old reads every post! Sometimes over and over! :)

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  11. The blogs I love the most, the posts that really stick in my mind are usually ones that can be considered 'deep'. Thanks for writing this, and for doing such a great job here :)

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