Another question from my "Ask Me Anything Post"... another one that has turned into a POST POST instead of just an answer. Remember, I said I like to talk a lot.
Point made.
To begin with, I cannot believe that I never touched surface on this topic a long time ago. To me, it seems natural to answer something so simple. I think I went into details about how we felt ready via a "chart" that I had made over a year ago, but we did not end up feeling "ready ready" until a few months after that.
What changed? What was the deciding factor for our family to want to expand? What made use wake up one day and say.... lets do it {literally}.
Well, it is as simple as that last statement.
You see, when you have your first baby, that baby of yours is your life. Everything revolves around this little creature that you have created and you have developed this routine that, in your eyes, seems too perfect to mess with. On top of that, the love that you feel for this child is so out of this world that no amount of words could ever describe such a connection that you feel. The words your "heart" living outside of your body couldn't be more true. So, the thought of bringing another baby into the picture? Just completely blows your mind.
You don't want to disrupt this good thing. You don't want to share the love that you have for your first. You just don't want to.
But then, one day you wake up and decide... but I do.
But I do want to relive those newborn snuggles, those newborn cries, the first milestones, from smiling to crawling to walking. Even, hold me, the sass. To add another face to the family pictures. Another set of toes to kiss at night. And most of all, to watch your first, this person that at this point is at the top of your world, one day fall in love with their little sibling and have a "friend" to grow up. Someone that they can go to, confide in, and talk about their "mean" parents with when they get grounded.
You know what exapanding your family is? It is simply expanding your love. Enriching it further. And giving your children a gift that holds the greatest value.
A family.
You wake up one day and you just realize that you are ready. You cannot pinpoint what happened, why TODAY felt like the day. You didn't become richer, wiser, or more organized. But it just came over you. Flooded you with emotions. And made you want to jump on your husband as quick as possible. You were ready. I was ready.
There really aren't words to describe it. Kind of like when people try to describe what "the one" feels like. When it happens... you'll just know.
And one day, I woke up... and just knew. It was around the time Elliana was about 17 months old. I pictured her 10 months from then... will she be ready? Will I be ready? And although I did not have the answer to this, no magic 8 ball to envision the future, I just felt like the answer was yes.
And so here we are, a family of 4. Will we be a family of 5 one day? I hope so. Am I ready now? No. Will I know when I'll be ready? No. But do I feel confident that things will fall in place as they should? Yes.
You know, you...... just know.
I just did a post similar to this one today! Only mine is about starting to get the "fever" to add a 3rd little blessing. ;) And you're right- you just know.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this! My daughter is now 18 months and I'm at the that stage where I don't want to mess up a good thing and share my love. It so hard to explain all the thoughts and emotions you feel when deciding if you want another baby or not. I've always pictured myself with two kids so I know that someday it will probably happen, but I just don't think I'm ready right now. So, once again, thanks for posting this. It's nice to know other people feel the same way. Now I don't feel so mean. lol
ReplyDeleteI hope I just know. Nowadays I'm not so keen on having a second, even though we want a second at some point.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right! Even though it can be overwhelming, you just know when the time is right. We have 6 years between our youngest boys and our daughter... another baby was a long time coming for me. In some ways I think it made it more difficult to make the decision because we were completely done with the baby stage, and our blended family unit was well established; but my heart just knew something was missing. Turns out our timing couldn't have been better :)
ReplyDeleteI am questioning baby #3 and don't feel ready yet! My babies are 3.5 and 15 months and I like their age difference, but question if I can really handle adding another one to the mix. I guess it's like finding your husband... when you know, you know :)
ReplyDeleteI love this post! And I may have also forwarded to my husband to help my argument that we are ready for #2 :)
ReplyDeleteI love this! Even though we are just now having our first, I know we want to have at least 3, so I always wonder how I will know I am ready for another.
ReplyDeleteI love this! I love how you say you know you just know and I laughed when you said you just wake up and say one day just do it literally haha that is so true! Graham is so precious as is Ellianna! What a great post!
ReplyDeleteI've wanted another baby since my daughter was born. I literally told my husband "I can't wait to have another one" within an hour of giving birth. I never felt that "not messing up a good thing" feeling at all. Because if finances, we have to wait right now so once my husband finds a job, we'll try for #2. I just wonder if it will be the same the next time and if I do want another baby again right away, how do we really decide? Just not do anythind and get pregnant when I get pregnant? Wait until there is some kind of sign? It's so nice that you just knew one day, but I feel like I've known all along!
ReplyDeleteDo you breastfeed? If so, could you write a post on how you manage outings with E and G, while breastfeeding? And tips on feeding discreetly in public?
ReplyDeleteThis is so true, you just wake up one day and 'know.' I swore up and down I'd only ever want just one child. Up until Mackenzie was about 16 months old I was so sure of that. But then one day I told my husband 'ok, let's have another.' Then after our miscarriage I wasn't sure when I'd want to try again. But one day I woke and said, I wanted to try as soon as I was given the go ahead.
ReplyDeleteYou just know these things!
Absolutely! My husband and I always knew we would like 3 (maybe 4, if we get brave) kids but I always wondered, after having DS, how would I know when that time is here? You really do 'just know' - and it's amazing how once that thought is in your head, that's it - baby fever, BAD!
ReplyDelete