Goals for Motherhood; 52 weeks of blogging with a Purpose

So I wasn't sure how I wanted to approach this prompt, surprise surprise. It seems as though I make up these themes and then sit here kind of scratching my head with ideas. Let me rephrase that.... ideas with a common theme. Because a lot of things seem to jump out at me. My brain is on overload these days and often times I feel as though I could talk forever. Talk forever, yet have nothing to say.

If that makes any sense at all.

I guess that is okay. Sometimes its better for me to just talk and let things come my way as naturally as possible. And in the end... if it does in fact makes sense, then great.

I hope it does.

My goals for motherhood. Lets phrase that as... the expectations that I have for myself in this role. The role that I take most seriously and cherish most in my life.

1. To be patient. I am always trying to learn new ways to be more patient with my children. How to be soft spoken and understanding. How to remind myself that this comes with this milestone, that changes are inevitable, and that we, as parents need to learn how to better cope in these certain situations. Man, I sure did struggle during that very first tantrum. I remember it to this day. Who out there, like me, ever felt like they must have done something wrong? That surely it's our fault that our child doesn't listen, misbehaves at times, and tests our limit. I know I felt that was at first. Funny, how in the moment, you think you are the only one in the world. And then you learn you're not and your whole perspective changes.  I am amazed at how far we have come and how much better we are able to adapt and communicate now. We understand more now that there are certain challenges that come with age. We get that we need to take these years as learning opportunities. We also know that there will be plenty of new "firsts" down the road. That is why it is so important for us to continue to learn how to be more patient. If we show them patience, won't that be teaching them how to be more patient with others? It's amazing how it works that way. A reminder we all need from time to time.

2. To slow down. To never take any day for granted. To always realize that our time on this earth is never guaranteed. We never know what tomorrow will bring and these children of ours do grow up way too fast. I know there will come a day where I miss the baby stage. Miss the toddler stage. And one day miss the teenage years {that we aren't even at yet}. I want to remind myself to slow down. To not be in a hurry to accomplish everything on our to-do list and... life list. That our children's happiness and health is what  is most important.

3. To take each opportunity to teach. I want to always be that mom that is fun. That takes her children on new adventures. That gets into the car and just goes. That shows them the world for what it means.  I want them to learn about the land that we walk on, the animals that we live with, and the beauty that surrounds us every day. Some of my favorite moments in motherhood have been where it's just been us, my little family and I, out and about outside, talking, laughing, and learning. Teaching our children has always been an important aspect of parenthood for us. We want to be the ones that are the biggest influence in our children's lives. We want to not only fill their hearts with love, but fill their minds with knowledge that will take them far in life. If nothing else, show them to appreciate the little things in life.

4. To be a role model I would be proud of my children to follow. I want to always be positive. To never speak ill of anyone. To show them what it's like to respect others around us. To teach them to give a lending hand, to stick up for those that are down, and to never give into the evils of the world. I want them to work hard for their dreams. To never feel like they are handed anything in life. That some things are worth sacrificing, and others are necessary to fight for. I want them to be fighters. Strong and confident. Being that role model for them is important. I cannot expect my children to be something without showing them the way.

5. To show them a healthy marriage, love, and partnership.  Andrew and I have always been the couple that hash it out when we have something on our minds. Unfortunately, after Elliana was born, we quickly realized that there were different ways we wanted to go about things. It's important though that our children see that arguments are okay, that marriage is not all butterflies, and that at the end of the day, love is always there. However, we always want to do so in the most respectful way possible. We want to show our children how a man and woman should treat each other. I want my daughter to find a husband that is like her father, one that loves her for every flaw and imperfection and will stand by her side through all the trials in life. That's Andrew. I want my son to find a woman that is independent, confident, and knows what she wants out of life. One that will put family first, and always work toward a better marriage. I want them to want to find real love. To find someone to spend the rest of their lives with. Someone that not only will make them happy, but also make them better. Because I believe that a part of marriage is learning and growing, and you do so by showing each other how you can be better. For yourself, for your spouse, and for your children.

6. To never compare. I never want to compare one child to the next. Whether that be my children to other peoples' children, or mine in comparison to each other. I want to always show them that we are proud of them, and will support them in any direction they take in life. That our children not need to get the straightest A's, to shoot the winning goal in soccer, or be the most popular kid in school. That being themselves and always trying their personal best is all that matters. I'll always be my kids' biggest fan. Always. I'll always think they are beautiful, smart, and special in their own way. No child is better than the other. And I hope they always know that my love for them will always be equal.

7. To be a parent that my children can come to.  One that they are not afraid to share something with. One that they don't feel the need to hide something from. One that knows that we don't keep secrets, and we will be as honest with them in hopes of them being as honest with us. One of my biggest fears in life... and this is already getting me choked up and teary eyed... is the thought that my children will ever have some sort of pain internally or externally and not feel comfortable with sharing it with us. That I will somehow miss something or not be aware that something has changed. I know that teenage years are tough for so many kids out there, and boy do those years just scare me. Our children see so much beauty and happiness in life when they are young, and as parents we work so hard to show them this happiness and love. And then come the teenage years. And they are exposed to so much, and experience so many changes, and naturally it's a lot to take in. I hope my children are always strong and know that I will always fight for their life and happiness. If there is ever a way for me to take any pain away from them, then you better believe I'll do my darn hardest to do just that. But if nothing else, I hope they feel comfortable in confiding to us.

8. To teach my children to not give up. That life will be hard. That sometimes things won't come easy. That sometimes you may not get out of life what you put in. But that your strength and perseverance is what will eventually get you through that hurdle. I want them to know that although things may not make sense now, they will later. That the saying "things happen for a reason" are so true. There is a reason why we are placed in certain situations in certain times of life. Down to the very second. And although some of those reasons my be hazy or hard to take in, they are there and it's our responsibility to work through them. Why is this lesson so important to me? Because I will not always be there to guide them through life. That sometimes, often times, as they grow up, they will have to make decisions on their own. I know that life will hand them some tough decisions, but I want to be able to give them the tools to work through those decisions. That no one else will be able to get you through the way you can. You, your personal self. Not me, not their father, not their friends or anyone else around them.

9. To show them love, strong, deep love, every chance I can get. With every parenting decision, with every year that passes, with every new stage and milestone that we go through. Being a parent and struggling with what to do now is never easy. I believe that there is no perfect way to parent, right way to parent, or the best way to parent. There are many great ways to parent, paths to take, and decisions to make. I struggle sometimes of knowing.... which one is better. I always seem to want to take the best path. But at the end of the day? It's the love that we show to our children that matter the most. If we made every decision out of love... then how could you possibly go wrong? How could that not be the best way.

So to my children, present and future, I love you with every fiber of my body, deep within my soul. I want to always be patient, learn to slow down, take each opportunity to teach, and and be a role model that you will grow up being proud of. I want to show you the beauty in life, to show you a loving, healthy marriage, and show you a life and home with open arms, heart, and mind. My goal is to never compare you to anyone else, as you are unique in your own way, special in everything that you do, and have been given your own special gifts from above. Please never give up on yourselves or on life. No matter how hard. No matter how challenging. No matter what.

And lastly, always, and I mean always, know that anything your papa and I do, any decision we may ever make, has always been, and always will be, out of the love that we have for you.

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