Things high school kids say

Hi!  My name is Bonnie and I have a blog where I write whatever I feel like.  We good on the intro now? Sometimes people like my blog and sometimes people don't, but basically I just love writing and sharing my two cents with the universe.  Some of  the posts I have most enjoyed writing are about (in no particular order) losing my dad, starting a new job, driving home in a snowstorm, satirical how to articles, what to expect when grieving, and lessons I learned at the gyno.  I blog primarily because I need to release emotions and thoughts and writing allows that for me.  I teach English for a living so basically I read and write all day long and that's the way I like it, dang it!

This is a picture of me and some dude.  Just kidding.  It's my husband.  I was going to just post a picture of just me but I figured if I showed you all a pic of a ginger with his shirt off you would be hooked for life, am I right or am I right?!?

 I do my best to get dressed in the morning and look halfway decent for my hoodlums students but often times the poor tikes are still confused as to what I'm wearing and why.  One girl told me last week that I looked like I was wearing my pajamas.  Sheesh, tough crowd!

When I'm not at home I enjoy chasing my husband around our one bedroom apartment and indulging in reality tv marathons.  My guilty pleasure is long baths with an ice cold diet coke and book in hand (We do a monthly book club at The Life of Bon- this month we're reading We Need to Talk about Kevin.  I'd love for you to jump in if you are a fellow book lover!)

One day my fine redheaded husband and I shall have fine redheaded children but for now 200 hormonal teenagers will have to do!  I love those kids, but let me tell you, they can say some pretty stupid things.  So stupid you can't help but laugh and laugh and then wonder if America's future is totally doomed.  I figured it's my job to share them with you because that's the loving kind of gal I am!

STUPID QUESTIONS:

Student: "Teacher? What do we do if we can't find what page we're on?"
My reply: "Uh... find the page we're on..."

Student, immediately after having received a graded final test back: "Is this test going to go on our grade?"
My reply: "Of course not. Why would I put a final test on your grade?"

Student: "I left my homework at home and can't hand it in until tomorrow. Does that mean it's going to be late?"
My reply: "Nope. When you hand your work in a day late, I actually count it as early."

Student, six weeks after school has been in session: "What time does school let out?"
My reply: "Seven o'clock."

Student:  "Do we answer both of these questions for this essay?"
My reply:  "Read what is written.  See that first sentence?  Where it says "Answer one of the following questions"?
Student:  "So... we only answer one of them?"

Student, dead serious, referring to a 60-something-year-old male teacher who has just walked out of the room: "Is that your husband?"
My reply: "You people are sick."

Student: "Do you wish you got paid more money?"
My reply: "No.  If anything teachers are overpaid."

Student:  "Did we do anything in class yesterday?"
My reply:  "Nope.  We all just sat here and stared at each other.  We didn't know what to do without you here."

Student:  "When you were in high school were computers invented yet?"
My reply:  "I went to high school eight years ago."
Student:  "So were they invented yet?"
My reply:  "Eight years ago?!?  Seriously?"
Student:  "What?"
My reply:  "No, computers weren't invented yet in 2004.  The world was a very primitive place back then.  I had to use a type writer for all my assignments.  Cars weren't invented either so I had to walk to school.  In the snow.  Uphill. Barefoot.  Because shoes also were not yet invented.  It's lucky I survived to this day and age."

Student:  Are you sure that voluptuous doesn't have an 'm' in it?

My reply:  Oh, you're right!  It does!  It's silent and it comes right before the v.

Student:  What does whores mean?  Is that like a horse?

My reply:  Yep.  You nailed it.

Student:  What was Shakespeare's first name?  Was it just Shakespeare?
My reply:  Yes.  His name was Shakespeare Shakesepare.
Student:  How weird!

Student:  What's a character list?  Is that like... a list of characters?

This is me and my students. We're having a funeral for Jay Gatsby. I'm the idiot making the peace signs in the front. I can't help it. Everytime there's a camera I whip out the peace signs. It's a disease.

STUPID ANSWERS:
Me:  When did Shakespeare live?  

Student:  1940s!  

Me:  No!  That would have meant he was alive during World War II!  

Student:  He wasn't?

Me:  What did Shakespeare write?  

Student 1:  Macbeth! 

Student 2: Romeo and Juliet!

Student 3: The one with the little dude that spins the stuff into gold!  

Me:  Rumpelistiltskin?  

Student:  Yah!

STUPID STATEMENTS:

As the first line of an essay on Les Mis:  SEX!  Well, now that I got your attention, you little pervert, I am going to tell you about Les Mis, a very long book about a bunch of people who like to feel sorry for themselves.

In all seriousness, I really do love these tikes and all the crazy crap that comes flying out of their mouth at a million miles an hour.  Of course if you want to hear more you can always visit Life of Bon.  I also write about going to the gyno, stealing underwear from Victoria's Secret and other totally legit stuff like that.