The First Letter to My Son {Before his arrival}

Letter written prior to the birth of our son.

Dear Graham,

It's your mama. Hi baby. My sweet precious baby boy. Hi honey.

I am sort of at a loss as to how I want to start this letter. I have tried a lot of different ways and then ended up deleting it and starting over. I'm not quite sure why it is so difficult for me to write right now. I know what I want to say. I know what I want to tell you. I just don't know how to begin. I feel like I am already at a loss of words... and nothing has even been said.

The truth is, this letter has been put off for far too long.

I knew that I needed to write it. I knew that it was important for me to tell you about your little family that you are about to be born into and the love and excitement that we have for your little arrival. I knew these things. But, I just let myself brush off these thoughts and focus on all other aspects of our life.

So I am sorry. My first apology of I'm sure many more to come down the road.

Today, when I was at our doctor's appointment to check on your growth and how we both were doing, it quickly hit me that you would be here soon. That our lives were about to change, and that I would once again become a mother. A second time.

Do I know what I am doing? Will you know how much I love you? Will you love your sister as much as we do?

These are just some of the questions that I keep asking myself. Even though, in reality, I know that you will be the absolute perfect addition to our family. You will fit in fine, and we will all adjust well.

I want you to know Graham, that although your sister is the center of our world right now, we have already made room in our lives and hearts for you once you arrive. We have made the decision to expand our family specifically because we have so much love to give. Your sister has been our number one for so long, and we will not love her less, but love her more as we watch the two of you grow. And you Graham will be our number one as well. Right next to our other number one.

We have made hopes and dreams for you. And no worries son, I will sit down one day and write all these out to do. Because I never want you to forget how much we love you already, how much happiness we hope for you and your future, and how important you are to us and this world.

But our one hope and dream for you is that you love and take care of your sister. Because after your papa and I are gone, it is her that will be your closest family. You are already so special to her and you aren't even here yet. You may be the younger brother, but I hope you know how important of a role you will have in this family, in our lives, and in your sister's life.

We pray that you will always feel the love that we have for you.

Whenever you are ready Graham, we are here with open arms to meet you.

We love you, forever and ever, to infinity and beyond.
Love,
Mama, Papa, and baby sister Elliana.