A Moment At the Children's Museum

1.22.13

It is no surprise that since the birth of our son Graham, that our little world has gone through many changes. Changes in sleep. Changes in our schedule and routine. Changes in how we operate as a whole. Who takes this duty. Who takes that duty. Changes period. Our wake up times. What we do during the day. The extra obligations.

I was worried about these little changes and how they would affect Elliana. We were so used to keeping busy, being active, and trying out new activities that I was worried we wouldn't be able to continue this as part of our every day. At least not in the beginning... and certainly not for a while.

I honesty didn't think I would leave the house with confidence for a good 6 months. Honestly.

I quickly realized how wrong I really was.

As soon as we brought Graham home, I knew right away that being cooped up in the house wasn't going to do anyone any good {except Graham}. I struggled with the battle of keeping Elliana isolated in our home for Graham's sake and taking Elliana out in public so that she can continue her "norm."

What sealed the deal for me was when we went to our first doctor's appointment at two weeks old {just me and the kiddos} and Elliana was such an angel that I felt like I needed to reward her in some way. I just needed to do this for her. And I knew just what would bring the biggest smile on her face.

Those stinkin' ridiculous large and obnoxious grocery "car" carts.

And I was right. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, she beamed with excited. "Mama, mama, mama, caaaaarrrr!"

Forget the fact that I wasn't sure how I was going to go about this with a newborn. Forget the fact that I  was slightly scared {for my life} and surviving this adventure. Forget any fear and concern I could have. In that moment, that smile and excitement was all the strength I needed.

And after surviving that day? That little "trip" out? I knew that we could do it. That I could do it. And that I needed to be strong for my baby. To find the appropriate places to go, when to go, how to cover up the baby {to keep him safe} and at the same time provide my first baby the opportunity to explore the world.

We continued with gymnastics classes and more trips out to the grocery store. We went outside every opportunity we could get {which has only been a few days as the temperature has dropped in the single digits}, had park and "play" dates, and we returned to attending toddler class at the library again.

So when a friend of mine invited us to join her and another mama to the Children's museum, I beamed with excitement "YES!"

Afterwards though, I admittedly felt a little nervous. This was slightly a bigger adventure that I would be taking on all on my own and required a lot of planning. Knowing when to feed and change baby and keep him awake prior so he would sleep through it all. Making sure Elliana got plenty of sleep the night before, and well rested and fed so that she wouldn't tire out by the time we got there. Making sure I had every thing in a small diaper bag for every possible scenario that could occur with a newborn and toddler in tow. Any and every.

But I was determined to do it. And once I set out to do something, there's no stopping me.

And we went. And it was amazing, and I held back tears every time my baby girl ran from one activity to the next, beaming with excitement, the biggest smile on her face, all while exclaiming "Mama cool huh?!" Yes baby. Very cool.

What made this trip so memorable for me during this great time with friends {and their husbands} was when we reached the carasoul ride. I asked the guys if they would mind sitting with the baby stroller while I went with the girls and our babies on the ride. Of course they didn't mind. And while I stood in line waiting for our turn, I stared at my girl. My big girl.

I couldn't believe that I was able to do this with her. That I was holding her in my arms and I was going to take her on this ride {even though she had been on it ten million times before}, and share this moment with her.

I know it may sound absolutely minor and one may not understand why this little moment meant something... but trust me when I say, it did. And it does.

I was able to reflect in that moment. The past 3+ weeks since Graham's arrival. Everything we had been through. Everything she had been through. And in that moment I was so thankful that I was able to do this for her. To give her the opportunity to still live "her normal" even after we rocked her little world around. To share these moments with her.

Something about that carasoul ride. It just did it for me.

And after two hours of fun and running around, I found myself in the car feeding and changing the little guy while the toddler snacked on her favorite "bunnies."

And as she exclaimed "Mama so fun" I just knew that I had made the right choice. I was doing something right. And I wouldn't let my fears ever take over again.
*****

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