A letter to the "New Mom"; 52 Weeks of Blogging

I wanted to write a letter. Two and a half years into this motherhood gig and I feel as though I want to share some insight with fellow new moms or moms to be. What insight. I know, shame on me. I still have a lot of years of learning to go. However, I think all moms are equipped with wisdom and knowledge that we can all learn from. I know for me, at least, I am always figuring out new tricks and ways to be a better mom, how to manage my time better, and how to provide my children with the best experiences and tools for this life that they have ahead of them.

So who exactly is this letter for? Not sure. Whoever cares to listen. I'd like to address my daughter here for a moment, so that when she too because a mother one day, she will hear the voice of her mother speaking to her. Not the one that has children in their twenties.

Instead, the mother that knows all too well what exactly she is going through.

I'd like to talk to you about the kind of firsts {ah-ha moments} and experiences that no one every prepared me for. Or, shall I say, I never prepared myself for. Perhaps I didn't do enough reading, surfing the net, and hanging out on forums, but I just had no idea about some of these things. Perhaps, people just DID NOT prepare me enough. Perhaps, I just didn't want to hear it.

So, here is my list of things that I learned very early one.

The "baby" stage goes by fast. No, scratch that, it zips by in the blink of an eye. The newborn, the crinkly old skin, their tiny cries. Fast. Too fast. Just be ready. Ready for baby fever to kick in way before you expected it to. Like the day after leaving the hospital.

Mother your way, not her way. Forget what your mama said, his mama said, your neighbors mama said, or the cashier at the checkout line says. Believe me when I say this, EVERYONE has an opinion. And many of those people? Don't know when to keep it to themselves.

You know your child best. Like I said, mother your way. Follow those instincts. If something doesn't feel right to you, ask yourself why. If you feel like something is best for your child, against what everyone things, go with it. You gave birth to this child, you are a part of this child, and you know this child. YOU are the expert. Believe it.

Pick up the camera. Remember when I said they grow up too fast? Their look changes that fast. You'll want to capture these moments. That includes the video {don't forget the video!}

Put down the camera. At the same time, know when enough is enough. Be a part of the moment. Don't live behind the lense. Get those few pictures, put it down, and enjoy your child. All they want is for you to be down there with them, not just creating those memories, but being a part of them. That includes the phone. Social media can wait. Your child can't. Remember that.

Tomorrow is a new day.You can do it! Just when you think that you mastered one stage, a new one springs up on you. Just when you think you have this whole "patience" gig figured out, a new tantrum and first will ensue. Just when you think.... just don't think. Just do. You are amazing, and your children are your biggest fan. Regardless of how bad a day is, how much you wished for it to end, just remember tomorrow is a new day. Before you go to sleep, reflect on your day and wake up with a smile on your face.

Don't try to push them to grow up faster than they should. It already goes by too fast. Yes, it's so exciting to enter the stages where they walk, talk, and are able to enjoy all those activities running through your head. Yes, it is that exciting. But don't wish them away. You'll only want to turn around and do it all over again. The problem is you can't. So enjoy it and soak it all up in every stage that you may be in. Oh and while I'm on that thought... remember that just because they do all these new exciting things... doesn't mean they are all of a sudden "grown up." They need your guidance every step of the way. Listen to them.

Read. Read, read, and read more. You will never be perfect and you will never find the perfect mom or parenting guideline out there. No such thing exists. But read and talk to other moms. You will learn what works and what doesn't. You will get a feeling as to which path to take. And sometimes, sometimes it requires you to get halfway down that path to turn around and start over. That's okay. Just always ask questions. Always. 

But don't read too much. You'll get a headache. You'll spin in circles. And you'll find yourself hours later with no answer and probably more confused then before. Know that there will always be speculation and criticism for whatever answer you are looking for. Don't look too far into things... it will drive you crazy.

Lastly, the most important thing that I want you to take away from this letter is this last thing:

LOVE AWAY and there is NO SUCH thing as loving too much. Forget those people that try to say that you are "spoiling your child." Forget those people who tell you "won't you put that baby down already." Forget those people who say that you need a weekend away and it's not "healthy" for your children to be the center of your universe. FORGET FORGET FORGET. It is quite okay for your children to be your focus, to try to be the best mother you can be, to try to raise them the way you want them to be raised, and to cherish every moment, every first, and every experience full heartedly. You know why it is okay?

Because you are the mother, and these children grow up way too fast. You know why you hear that phrase so much..."They grow up so fast?" Because it is so true and you don't realize it until the days, months, and years are truly flying by. And guess what, you won't stop hearing that. And you know what else.... you'll be saying it one day as well.

Look, our babies are babies for what, a year? They are toddlers for a what, a couple years? Then they become school ages. Then teenagers, and then guess what, they leave us {lets not go there}, but it's true, they do. And then what....

You have the next 50 years to have whatever you want else to be "the center of your universe." Passions? Dreams? Travels? Go for it!

But today, right now, you are a new mom. You have this tiny little newborn that depends on you. That depends on you to give them those essential tools and wisdom to survive life. You are the reason for their breathing and living. You created them and now it is your turn to mold them.

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Next Week: I said I would never.... {things you would never do as a mom}

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