I choose Happiness.

2.13.13

How many times have we heard about the "perfect" life. How this mom makes motherhood look like a cake in the park. How this one pulls off the unthinkable. This one somehow manages to make a craft-tastic wreath for every room in the house. For every season, holiday, and birthday. That one has a new recipe every day of the week. Organic, freshly picked from her garden in the back. There's the mom that has the best wardrobe with the largest closet. Not to mention she looks like the next victories secret model {five days after giving birth to her fourth child}. How about the mom with the beautiful home, beautiful children, and the hunk of a husband. Those pictures don't lie you know. And then to sum it all up, lets give it to the super-mom. The mom that does all this, all while blogging about it.

Did I cover most of the ideas that have come across all of our minds at one point or another about this or that blog, this or that mom, this or that life?

I probably haven't. Not even close. And I'm not saying that any of those things people say about me. What I'm trying to talk about here is what we all think when we stumble upon what seems to be "the perfect life." Whether it be in the blog world or the step-ford wife neighbor across the street.

But in retrospect, it made me think about my blogging. This space. My little place.  Why I choose to share what I share. And more importantly, how that may be perceived by others.

This space? It's just 1% of me.

You see, I turn to this blog a couple times a week. Sometimes only once. Sometimes even more. I devote a few hours out of the week to whip out my thoughts. As ideas come to mind throughout my day, I quickly jot them down on a piece of paper, a text to myself, or sometimes an email sitting in draft. Sometimes it's just one word. Sometimes it's a sentence. Just a reminder of a thought to be constructed into something bigger. And then when that time of the week comes... I close everything off and I write.

Sometimes the post has already been written. In the car. On the couch. As I drift off to sleep.

From start to finish, I already know what to say... because I had already said it at one point or another. Over and over again in my head. So typing it out... I could do it with my eyes closed.

I write these thoughts down. Sometimes, often times, I throw in pictures. Specifically chosen, pretty, happy pictures. Why pretty? Why happy? Because these pictures make me smile. Because seeing he faces of the ones I love most? That makes me happy. I then look at the calendar to see when I want these posts to schedule. A couple clicks later and the computer closes.

And that is that.

My 1% sitting in a little file on the computer waiting to be published.

And then it's out there for the world to see. For people to critique. For others to judge. Sometimes they are good judgements. Sometimes, unfortunately people misread. Or assume. Or no matter what, they don't like you from the minutes they clicked on your site. Whatever the reason, positive or negative, judgements are made.

Because you put 1% of yourself out there.

People assume that they know you. They can sometimes imagine what your voice sounds like. What kind of person you are. What kind of mother you are to your children, wife to your husband. And sometimes, just sometimes, they could close their eyes and envision your life.

Because your 1% is out there on display in pictures.

Sometimes people assume that because you write all these happy thoughts, post pretty pictures, and talk about your beautiful children that that makes you perfect. Or that you, yourself, think that you are perfect. That you put yourself above others because you only write about these happy thoughts. That you think that you are better.

Because your 1% is full of so much... happiness.

So then. If we choose to share 1% of our life. Why, then do some choose to share the happy, beautiful, 1% of their life.

I want this blog to serve as reminder to myself. That great days do exist. That happiness is around me all the time. To look back on and smile. When I'm having a rough day. When I second guess myself. When I'm all out of ideas, solutions, or back-up plans. To turn to this little space of mine and remember.

Remember. That these moments, that may be 90% of this day, or 85% of that day, or maybe just 30% of that day, are the greatest moments to exist. That although it doesn't mean I look this pretty all the time, that my kids are this happy all the time, that my home is this clean and put together all the time, ... that it's there, it's around us, and it's what we live for.

Whether it's through words, or whether it's through pictures, I have these moments to serve as a reminder to myself. And if it inspires someone else out there? If it touches just one person. If it turns someone's day around? Gives them a different perspective? Then that is a beautiful thing.

No, it doesn't mean that my life is perfect. No, it doesn't mean that I am super mom. No, it doesn't mean that I have it all together, that I don't raise my voice, that I don't have "mom fails," or that I don't question myself from time to time.

It means none of that. What it does mean? What does it mean when I choose to share all the happy moments? What does it mean when I choose to share the pretty pictures full of laughter and fun? What does it mean when I choose to share our achievements, and blessings in life?

It means that I choose happiness.

The best part of that statement? That it's my choice.

How you perceive it? Is yours.