Ice cream never hurt....nobody.

I think my most favorite time to gather my thoughts and think about life and all that it entails is when I'm driving. I've said that before. I drive and blog. Except, you know, I don't actually write. Anyways, lately, I have felt like life has been too busy for me to have the opportunity to organize these thoughts. But today? Today, I thought about so many different things that I tried to make a mental "to-write" list for when I got home. All while on our way to toddler time.

Man, am I ever so happy for toddler time. And its return. It was off for a month {for re-vamping of the program purposes}, and boy did we miss it. A lot. Elliana was just as excited as ever before the minute we pulled into the parking lot and we got right back into the swing of things when we entered the doors. As though it was never gone.

I like routine. I like knowing that we have something scheduled for specific days of the week, and it allows us to be more productive and keep things in order if you will. I mean, order and babies? That is almost laughable. But, somehow... it works.

Anyways, back to my thoughts.

I was thinking about a couple weeks ago. About a specific night when we had friends over and their baby girl {E's best best friend}, and how that night put some things in perspective for me.

Picture this. Four adults outside grilling. Food scattered all across the table. Sweet potato fries. Caprese salad. Chicken hot dogs. Turkey burgers. Watermelon. And more. A baby crawling around on a blanket on the deck with toys scattered everywhere. Two toddlers sitting at a little table laughing {and screaming... just because}. And food all over the ground. Because lets face it... toddlers have this way of dropping food on the ground. I can't seem to put my finger on it.

Then came the ice cream. My friend brought ice cream for the girls because it was her daughter's 2nd birthday. We sang her the birthday song, and then she handed each of the girls their own ice cream sandwich. It was huge. And if I'm being completely honest here? E has never had a whole ice cream before. Normally we share, and I eat about 75% of it, and she eats the other 25%. Not because I was trying to cheat her out of ice cream, but because she always seemed to be satisfied with just a little. 

So yeah, she had the whole bar. And I let her. And the next few minutes is when a reality check dawned on me.

The girls had ice cream all over their hands. Then their dresses. My friend took her daughter's clothes off and let her run around in a diaper, and next thing you know, they had ice cream all over their entire bodies. And they started running around the backyard, and proceeded to run to my neighbor's deck where they were sitting enjoying their dinner.

And we all laughed. My heart got all warm inside. Fuzzy. Stupid fuzzy like I was about to cry. But I didn't. Because my friends were there and you know... they'd totally make fun of me. 

This. This is what being a kid is all about. This is what letting go is all about. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine myself not caring about what other people thought. About how my child had food all over her. About her not being completely dressed. About eating an entire thing of ice cream. And better yet... making noise. 

Her happiness was and is much more important to me than anyone's thoughts and judgements. I will never please everyone. There will always be people that judge no matter what you or I do. But I've just learned that you have to learn to enjoy the now and think of the future.

Will you care what someone else thinks 20 years from now? Or would you rather think back and remember a night where you kept the kids up way past their bedtime, let them eat more sweets than you should have, and maybe even disturbed the peace and quiet of the outdoors for a few minutes while they ran around chasing after one another with not a single care in the world.

My children have taught me so much in their short little lives. They've made me such a better person, and sometimes it's moments like these where I am reminded of who I was back then in comparison to who I am today. 

The pre-baby me would have judged hard of that evening. Of every little thing. 

The mom me? 

She's pretty darn proud of where she is today.