Wednesday, March 16, 2016


While nursing Polina to sleep tonight, I watched an adoption video—a really amazing story, actually.  And something that the father had said in the video really sparked something in me. He said that while his friends and family were busy running around from one dance recital to the other, this school committee to the next, and one commitment after another, they were what one would call busy.

They were busy and the days, weeks, and years of childhood were going by drastically fast. On the other hand, here him and his wife had these 5 new children and many years of their childhood already went by.  Years he could not get back nor be a part of. And therefore, he didn't want to miss out on any more. And while they do those things that other families do, they make sure to always do them together.

He explained it much better than I just did.

More importantly, it got me thinking. I never want to be like that. Busy.

It's the reason why we do what we do, why we parent the way we parent, why we are how we are as a family. Because I always want us to be as a family.... together.

Soccer practice on Wednesdays means that I haul 3 children with me, load up the car with two large water bottles, baby essentials, jackets, snacks, and umbrellas {just in case}. I find a spot, standing there across the net with a baby on my hip, and my oldest standing on top of the chair clapping and cheering her brother on as he runs back and forth trying to kick the ball into the goal. Halfway through, Andrew joins us in his cute work outfit, kissing his girls, and joining in on the cheering. Sometimes that means that I have to work the night shift right after, and we switch cars and I drive off after the game. Sometimes I don't, and we can go to the little cute town nearby and have a bite of pizza. But it's something that we do, and we do together.

On Saturdays, we haul three children to gymnastics. Sometimes baby passes out and sleeps through the whole thing. Sometimes big brother does the same. But we are there, cheering our big girl on as she completes one new stunt to the next. Afterwards, we may stop for a treat at the local bakery. We may all end up in Trader Joe's together grocery shopping, and other times it may mean a special trip to grandma's or even a game of bowling. But it's something that we do, and we do together. 

Library trips are all together.
Park trips are all together.
Little dates with the kids, together.
Lunches or dinners out.
Shopping as a family.
Movie nights.
Game nights.
Even co-sleeping. {I know, shocker}.

Our kids are little right now, and so that makes it easy for us to do. We are able to do so much together, and we spend so much time with one another, and we are able to adjust our schedules in order to do that. People may ask, why, why are you guys always together?

My answer, why not.

They are only little for so long.  You hear that a lot. But what do we do about it? The reason I have chosen to keep my kids home from school this long {although E is begging for Kinder next year} is because it's important for me to build those relationships with them, and even more importantly, for them to build a strong relationship among each other.

Elli and Graham play together from sunrise to sunset. Don't get me wrong, there is that 5% of the time where a fight will ensue over something they are doing, a toy, or something silly another person said. But it's usually {I say usually, because sometimes we don't recover from it} over pretty quickly and they move along. But I'm telling you, their bond is so close that I am literally amazed by it every day. I shouldn't be, as they've been close from day one, but it still amazes me when I am witnessing day after day. I watch them and I am so grateful that they have each other. And I'm even more grateful to know that Polina is growing up with such a wonderful brother and sister to guide her.

I'd also like to think that the amount of time that we have invested in building these relationships with our children has played a major role in the way that they are. I'd like to think that by building these relationships now with them, gaining that ultimate trust and respect from them, will hopefully help us in the future as they grow, mature, and become more independent {and opinionated} in life. 

Although I hate to think about this, I also like to know that if anything ever happened to us, that they have each other. Not only that, but that they truly love each other. Not just because they are blood.


What was I saying about that?

I never want to be that way. I know we all get lost in the hussle and bussle of life. It's hard not to. But I hope that when we are lost, and when we are busy, and when days, and weeks, and years, go by right before our eyes. That at least we will be doing it together.

Cheering each other on, together.
Laughing, together.
Crying, together.
Creating memories, together.
Winning, together.
Losing, together. 

Being us, together.


  1. I wish I could things with husband. Going to practices. Library. Doc appointments. Ect but with his work it's completely impossible.
    It hurts a lot, and taken almost 6 years to get over the hurt, dwelling, getting jealous of other families doing things together. There is a lot of questions like you, but opposite and you are always doing this all by yourself. But it just is the way our family is. His days off we are together as much as possible and getting over not being together when a normal family typical would has helped me enjoy the time we are together better. I hope one day I can fully get over that jealousy, but I'm doing a lot better!!

    You are so blessed to have thag ability to be together as much as you all are! :)

  2. Well said, exactly why I try and take my children everywhere together. I want them to have the memories of us all together, no matter how big or small.

  3. Well said, exactly why I try and take my children everywhere together. I want them to have the memories of us all together, no matter how big or small.

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  5. Awhile back you posted that family members give gifts of money towards college for the kids. Do you have recommendations of your preferred way to receive this? My friend's baby turns one tomorrow and I want to give a meaningful gift


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