Monday, September 1, 2014

I believe.

Isn't it interesting to think that we have come to a place in life where our "beliefs" or perhaps "what we think" can be easily twisted, manipulated, and turned into something it is not. It seems to be a common thing lately to hear about people being scrutinized in what they believe in, what they say publicly {or privately}, what organizations they decide to donate to, and how faith and their religion affects their every day life. More importantly, their thought process. I mean, in all honesty, aside from the very obvious public humiliation and martyr of a person's image when one of these stories gets out to the public media, I have to assume that we are just one step away from imprisoning those that may voice an unpopular viewpoint---regardless of whether that individual is right or wrong in their beliefs or sayings.

This makes me think about my own beliefs. What I believe about marriage. What I believe about parenthood. What I believe of political and religious controversies out there. I would never fit one specific mold, and my ultimate belief is that we should respect all opinions but we most certainly don't have to agree. If I could sum it up that way, that would be all I would say:

We are and always will be different. Words, articles, research studies, and stories will never make us all think alike. That's a fact.

But me? I believe in a few things....

I believe in God. I believe in a better place out there with no pain or suffering and unconditional love. I believe that faith is the most important thing that we can hold onto in this world full of so many questions that we cannot grasp our minds around. Believing in God has by far had the greatest impact in my life and molding me into the person I am {and continue to grow to be}. Jesus makes me want to be better. Always.

I believe in hard work. I believe that one should work hard for what they earn, that they should never expect anything out of anyone, and that complaining or bringing down another individual for having something one does not will never get a person where they need to be. I believe that assistance should only be provided to those that need it---during a struggling time in life, and should be based on person to person. What I mean by that is that we should be looking deeper into people's lives when they are on assistance and making sure that the money is going to the right places and to the people that need it the most. It should be no surprise that this means I believe people should be drug tested as well. If you take drugs, do drugs, engage in any kind of illegal activity, you should not be given the assistance to do so. However......

I believe in helping those in need more. Without question, and without judgement. Regardless of what I stated above, what is more important is that we help those in need, even if that means that we are also helping those not in need at the same time, regardless of how flawed the system may be. Example? Those that are begging on the street for money. Even if it means that 9/10 of those people will use that money toward alcohol and drugs, I still believe that we should help them. Why? Because there is that chance that you are encountering that one out of the ten that actually needs it and will use it and may be hungry and just going through a tough time in their life. I'd rather help 10 knowing that I'm helping at least one. And if that means I donate $1 every time they ask at the store, even if only 10 cents of it goes to actually helping someone in need, than that is 10 cents that I would have never known to give, and 1 dollar that I will never miss.

I believe in equality. That means if we can do our job equally, invest the same amount of time, and produce the same results, then yes we should be treated equally, paid equally, and looked upon as equal. But I believe even more in fairness. I believe that we should not take away from a person's skills and qualifications and fill a position based on sex or race. If you don't meet the cut, you don't meet the cut. If the shoe doesn't fit, it doesn't fit. No one deserves more money simply because a man is making more money if they aren't able to do the work that they do. And no one should be getting into a school if they don't have the grades or the test scores simply because of the color of their skin. If we are going to talk about equality then be fair in all aspects. Not just when it benefits one person versus the other.

I believe in staying home with my children. I believe in sacrificing other aspects of my life; finances, time, and dreams in order to fully invest in raising young healthy adults.  And just because this is one of the most controversial topics out there, let it be known that I do not believe in day cares for our family, but I fully support any friend or family that has decided that this was what is best for their family. I imagine that mothers out there that make this decision weigh out all the risks and benefits and this was not a decision that was made easily. No one should have to explain why their decision was made, and no one should question it. That being said, it was simply never a question for our own family, and it is something I knew growing up was important to me. It's a decision that I could never regret, and time that I soak in every day.
I don't believe in abortion. I believe in life.  I won't dive further into this topic, as it's probably the touchiest of all, but when there is a heart beat there is life, and when there is life it's not ours to choose whether or not this life should come into this world.

I believe in vaccines. I have read enough to make my brain fall apart and turn to mush, both sides pulling me in all directions. And even after all the reading, and talking with physicians {both friends, coworkers, and ones that care for our families}, I still choose vaccines. It's the only thing that makes sense to us.
I don't believe in medicine. Correction, I don't believe in medicine for every day things that our bodies were made to fight. Colds. Mild fevers. Congestion. Although I'm not anti-medicine {hello, I believe in vaccines}, I'd like to think we try our best to let our natural immune systems run their course of action before resorting to something more. Although E has had Tylenol once in her life, and no other medicine ever before, G has never had anything at all. It's been years since I've taken anything besides prenatal vitamins, and I would like to most certainly keep it that way. Now, obviously, being a critical care nurse this concept definitely does not apply to critical situations or instances where medicine is crucial for healing.

I believe in safety first. Although I promote freedom and curiosity and want my children to explore and test limits, I want nothing more than for them to understand safety should always come first. Not only the safety of our own lives, but most importantly the safety of those around us. Our decisions can greatly impact another person's life, and therefore it is important for us to always think before we act. Helmets. Seat belts. Water knowledge. Safe driving.

I believe in raising hard working, driven, motivated children. Children who will work when they become of age, children who have to earn money to buy things, children who will be grateful for what they have, and children who will set goals and dreams and know that the only person that can help get them there is themselves. And if they need a little reminding from time to time, that's my duty as a parent to remind, educate, and lead them into the right direction—not carry them, or hold their hand, but to lead. That means they see what hard work means right in front of their eyes, and they see what it takes to get there.

I believe in manners. Everyone should have them and everyone should be corrected when they have lost theirs. There is no excuse for rude behavior—both children and adults, and there certainly is no excuse for people not to use simple gestures such as---please and thank you, helping those that are in need of an extra hand {the elderly, mothers with children, pregnant women, the sick}, holding doors for others, and waiting our turn patiently. We are our children's example, and we need to raise children that are respectful of another person's time and presence just as we would like them to be respectful of ours.

Manners should be as simple as breathing for people. Yet people make it as difficult as chess.

I believe in organic. We try to eat as healthy and as natural as possible, but we aren't perfect and I had penn station over the weekend. But we like to minimize the toxins in our lives and our bodies and we are learning every day and changing our lifestyle as we go to lead a more natural life. But? We have no desire to let it consume us and place fear in our hearts. We just go with it.

I believe in a marriage where two people are equal. We contribute equally to the family in all aspects. I believe in a marriage where two people help manage the children and do so in agreement, help with the household chores, and the decision on who works and when is made solely because it is what works best for the family. That means my husband changes diapers and gives baths, not always, but sometimes. I do laundry, wash dishes, and clean, but he also scrubs toilets and bathtubs. He works all day monday-friday, but I also contribute financially at night and through other outlets {such as this blog, photography, and my money-saving-skills...ha}. We work as a team, and we do what we need to do to make things work during a certain time in our lives. But– I still make dinner so that my husband comes home to a home cooked meal, I wake up early with the kids when he wants to sleep in at times, and I certainly expect him to take care of the projects that need done around the house. Traditional is still very important to us, even if we have molded it into what works for us.

I believe in letting people into "our country {what does that even mean}." While many people would disagree, I would have to say that the biggest ignorance lies in those who believe that we are overpopulated and that immigrants are a disservice to this country. False. I have yet to meet someone who immigrated from another country that has not been a benefit to our society. People who come from another country, don't know how to speak this language, and somehow figure out how to work, not live off government assistance, buy cars and houses and contribute to our economy. People don't leave their homes and everything they know to come to someplace foreign just to fail. I know because I live amongst those people every day, meet those people and hear their stories every day, and am always, always amazed by their accomplishments.

I believe in a lot of things. As you see, the list is already long. But there's more, and yet none of it matters. Why? Because what I believe in should not affect you, you, or you. It should not influence what you believe in, and it should not anger your thoughts or minds. Instead, reading another person's beliefs should influence us to think about our own beliefs and where we stand on important issues. Some beliefs have been with us since the day we can remember, others have changed throughout the years. The question is, for the better or for the worse?

I haven't thought or believed in many things until I became a parent and certainly not until I grew up. It is not until you start really seeing the world for what it really is that you quickly realize how important our role is in this society. How although we are one person out of millions, our beliefs and what we stand for can have the greatest impact on many.

Sometimes, without even knowing.

I believe in myself, and that is a great feeling to wake up to each and every day.


  1. I really enjoyed reading this post! I have such strong beliefs myself and although I'm very proud of my beliefs and know that they are a big part of me it's still hard to share them openly (especially when some of them aren't the 'popular opinion')!

    1. Yes, I couldn't agree more. It is very hard to be opinion about things, especially when it comes to the social media where people can sit behind a computer screen and hide their identity while bashing another person. But? That's what makes us stronger in our beliefs. Thank you for taking the time to comment.

  2. I would encourage you to research the difference between equality and equity:

    Here's a place to start

  3. Interesting Sutton you suggest that I "research" more into this, yet you lead me to... a blog. Not exactly what I would consider research, but regardless it was worth the read.

    In case you weren't sure of what the definition of equality and equity was exactly, let me encourage you to look it up. Actually here, I have found it for you. And the best part? It didn't come from a blog post.

    Equality: the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities.
    Equity: the quality of being fair and impartial.

    The definitions speak for themselves.

    Also interesting to note that I came from a "low-income" family {immigrated from Russia}, had to learn English on my own {parents did not speak} and keep up in school on my own with no assistance {again, parents could not help}, and yet never was handed a dime nor accepted in to college because of my "set-backs."

  4. I applaud you for speaking so candidly about your beliefs. You'd think it would be something we could all do freely; however, sadly it seems that only certain viewpoints are acceptable now, and it's truly scary to see people vilified when they differ from these viewpoints. I'll be curious to see what other reactions you receive. Support you and this post 100%!

    1. Thank you for your sweet comment. It always saddens me when I learn of yet another "differing opinion" be so scrutinized by the public. Opinions are only allowed when they are popular these days.

  5. I think blogger ate my post (unless you moderate and I didn't see a pop-up, in which case delete this one!) I loved this post - honest shared opinions are my favorite to read. I might differ from you on some of your beliefs, but you were respectful, well-spoken and classy in the way you could articulate what is important to you and what you believe without bashing other beliefs, which seems to be rare these days. You're a wonderful mother and setting an incredible example for your children! xo

    1. Thank you dear friend. I always love to hear from you, and you know I think the same about you and your sweet family.

  6. I very much so enjoyed this post! I commend you for sharing your beliefs and I look forward to similar post in the future. I have a lot of respect for the way you are raising your family and find you very inspiring to young, future- mothers such as myself :)

    1. Amanda, I really appreciate your kind words. Thank you!

  7. Becky you are such an inspiration. I love reading posts like this on your blog and I have to agree that you speak very loudly to young mothers like myself. After finding your blog the way I see life today has change for the better. Mothers like you make me want to be better because I know through seeing that it is doable. Keep up the amazing work you are doing with your family! xoxo


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