Deleting Social Media, One Click at a Time.

 ***For some reason, blogger posted last week and dated it a month ago, and was up for a couple hours. If you read this already, sorry. If you haven't... here it is. I wrote a pre-post yesterday to address some issues in this post.

I wrote this post months ago, and I simply talk about all the different social media outlets that I have started eliminating out of my life.

First, let's talk about the social media that started it all.


Facebook.

It was about a couple years ago that I "deleted" Facebook from my life. The reason I put that in quotes is because I did not technically delete it. At first, it started out with me going through my 1,000+ friend list {because you know, we weren't friends unless we were Facebook official, ahem} and spent hours going one by one and deleting people that I no longer associated myself with. Ones that I know could care less to see images of my family, and vice versa, I could care less to see bar-hopping scenes every weekend.

And then as time went on, I noticed that I didn't have the desire or need for Facebook like I had before becoming a mom. Days would go by. Sometimes weeks. I'd login here and there, but within 5 minutes, I'd be off. I toyed around the idea of deleting my name completely, but then I realized that I didn't want to delete it permanently in case I wanted to stay in touch with someone. I liked knowing that I still had access to the more important people in my life and that it was a way for me to share and send a message to some friends or family that were out of state.

Everything else that Facebook was all about? Engaging in mindless political conversations? Status updates? Wall posts? Just fell short of productive and meaningful.

Which brings me to twitter. Unnecessary status updates.

You see, at the time that I had "deleted" Facebook from my life, I had then discovered twitter. Ironic, I know. No, I was not living in a bubble and did not know what twitter was. I had heard about it plenty of times but never saw it as appealing to me. That is until I was almost a year into blogging and realized that in order to stay connected then I needed to open up {or actually use} this twitter thing.

And I did. And I loved it. And just with any other social media out there, the first time you use it... you seem to use it too much.

I went to the store.
Good morning guys, I'm awake!
Now we are eating.
Time for bed... tootles!

Cringe. I know. That was me. I felt like I was sharing every bit of everything that I was doing as if anyone out there truly cared. They didn't.

And then I would find myself obsessed with what other people would say. I would want to jump into a conversation {that did not need me jumping into}. I would want to get defensive about something {that did not need me getting defensive over}. I would make judgements and eye rolls {that I was wrong to do so}. And although it took me a little longer to realize it, about a year ago, I finally did. I realized how unhealthy twitter truly was.

Delete.

Again, not in the literal term. But gone. Gone were my habits of checking twitter when I woke up. Then every hour. Then before bed. Gone was my obsession of scrolling through my feed and not missing a single update by some of my "favorite" girls. Gone.

Yes, I still have twitter {just like I still have Facebook}, but both are used primarily for either blogging purposes, to answer someone's question, ask a question, or to engage once in a while with someone that I wanted to catch up with, congratulate, or ask a question.

And now, we have instagram. Instagram is much newer than the other two and something that I did truly enjoy for a long time. I think the idea behind instagram is great, and it's something that I have actually thought about a lot. I thought about how much my family {and friends} enjoy seeing pictures of my little ones. It's their way of watching them grow, and I loved that I did not have to send an individual text to every person I knew. I loved that it made them happy to see a new pictures. And I loved even more that I had a place to go to and look back on to see how fast these babies of ours grow.

I also at the time enjoyed looking at other people's pictures and would find myself wanting to click on a person's name and go through all their previous pictures that I may have missed.

I love pictures period. I love photography. I love how you can capture beauty and make time stand still. And I love that you only get a second, split second, of a person's day and all you have left is your imagination. To imagine what they are like. What their kids are like. How they spend their day. And the type of people that they are.

A glimpse into someone's life.

But then at the same time, it's a glimpse into my life as well. More importantly, my children's lives. And as Elliana is nearing 3 {this November, where has the time gone}, I have found myself asking myself a few questions.

When will I shut it down {instagram}, and when will I hold back {from sharing}.

When you begin to ask yourself these sort of questions, that's when you find yourself saying... it's time. So slowly, I began posting less. I did not find the desire to look at other's pictures anymore. I did not find the desire for sharing everything that we were doing. And I just did... not have the desire.

But I was stuck. My MIL would call and ask "why are there no instagram pictures!" And so I would post a few more that day. I knew she loved them, just as I knew that my friend's and other family members loved them. And I loved sharing with them also. I just no longer wanted to share with everyone else...

So I made a compromise. I made a second username and I started friending just those that know us. And now I share a lot. And I give them more glimpses then ever before. And that's okay.

Will I delete Instagram? Probably not. Not yet at least. But I just won't be there very often. And when my daughter turns 3, there probably will no longer be any images of her. Because I know as she gets older, she may not want every picture of her out there. And that's okay. I respect that and I want some of those intimate details to be shared with just those that personally know us.

I know the last question that you may be asking yourself {of me} is where does blogging come into this conversation. It's a great question and I've thought about it often. Blogging is a whole different ballgame for me. Blogging is not a social media for me as much as it is an outlet. For me to write my thoughts make them public. The social part of blogging? Visiting other blogs, connecting with other bloggers, and spending time getting to catch up on other people's lives? That's pretty much 95% gone. It has been for a while. Simply because time does not allow for me to participate in this are that I once enjoyed.

But writing? Going private and shutting down? No intention. It's something that I am passionate about and more importantly something that is important to me.

It's my selfish outlet and I want to hold onto it forever.

Will my blog always be public?
Probably not.
Will I still write?
Absolutely.

Blog for YOU.

I try to be pretty honest on this space. I try to be as open as possible, without over-sharing. I know I have. Over-shared. I know that there have been moments, posts, where I was too honest. The great thing about this space is that there are no rules, no limits, and it's a place to just be you. That's what I have always tried to be. Me. And throughout the years, that "me" has changed. Does that mean that I wasn't honest back then? No. Does it mean that I'm not honest now? No. It just means that I've slowly changed throughout the years, and I think that it's expected, good, and a great opportunity for reflection.

Reflect on who I don't want to be, how I don't want to write, and what I don't want this space to turn into.

And something that I learned early on once becoming a mother is that I no longer wanted this space to consume me. I no longer wanted to depend, nor need, the validation from complete strangers. I did not want to feel as though I was writing for others and I did not want to feel as though there was pressure to be someone I am not.

The thing is, I used to devote so much time to trying to grow this space of mine. Trying to join in on every linky party, commenting on 50+ blogs a day, and making sure that I was being active on all forms of social media including facebook, twitter, and instagram. Don't even get me started on pinterest. My goal was not to read posts that I loved, but rather try to read as many as I could, comment generic comments as much as I could, in hopes that I would get as many people as possible to visit back and comment on my own posts. Selfish.

But it worked.

I probably got 30+ comment a day from my 200 followers. Guess what? They didn't read my posts just as I didn't theres. And so it became some sort of bouncing game.

It was exhausting, time consuming, and eating away at me. I felt as though I was staying up late to meet these personal deadlines that I set for myself and expectations that I set way too high. Expectations that were no longer realistic to my present life.

You want to know something? When I first started blogging, I used to write down the new blogs that I started following and commenting on, and if I never heard back from them, I made sure to unfriend them. I could not get it past my head why they would not want to communicate back with me and take the time to get to know me. If I took time out of my day, why shouldn't they. That was my thought process.

I quickly {not so quickly, took me a while actually} learned that there are more important things in life than visiting blogs simply to visit them, commenting simply to get comments back, and expecting things out of others that I had no place nor reason to.

And so, within the past couple of years my blog has changed. I continue to write. I continue to make mistakes. There are fluff posts here and there, sponsored posts, giveaways and other things that I know people may not enjoy. But through it all, I try to remember to do it for me.  All of me.

Where is this all coming from? Because a post that accidentally went live last week {and will go live tomorrow} left a bitter taste in a reader's mouth. When I said that I rarely {if ever} read blogs anymore, she stated that she would now think twice to visiting my blog when a new post shows up on her reader. She was hurt and I could hear her anger in between the words written, and although they could have been said in a nicer way, a part of me understood. A part of me reminded myself that that was me just a few years ago. Expecting things out of others without fully understanding their story, their life, and the way that they spread out their time throughout the day.

But I owe it to you. You, the reader, to explain myself. To tell you that it isn't because I don't want to read, it's just because there are more important things in my life. Yes, more important than reading other blogs and commenting and being a social butterfly. Does that hurt when I put it that way? I bet it does. But you have to remember that as there are more important things in my life, there are certainly more important things in your life. Do I ever want you to take time away from your family to come read my blog? Absolutely not. If at the end of the night you happen to have 10 minutes out of the day, and my blog happens to be one that you visit? I'm honored and grateful. If it's not? I understand. If you leave a comment on a post that I wrote? I thank you, even though I know I don't say it enough. And if you don't? I understand. 

And although a part of me wants to sit here and explain everything that I do from day to night, I know that it shouldn't come down to that. I should never have to explain to anyone, as long as I was confident in this space and my writing. And I know that I am.

I will never apologize for speaking the truth. Although I love blogging for everything that it has done for me and the outlet that it has provided to me in my life, I surely don't love it more than my family. So I made cutbacks a long time ago. I still write. I post pictures on instagram here and there. I reply to messages when I can. And I'll socialize via the media when time allows it. Very rarely.  Silently, I read a few blogs here and there {ones that I know their url by heart}, but I don't expect anything out of any of those people that I do.

Because you see, I'll keep blogging whether there are 1,000 people reading,100, 10, or 1. I will keep blogging because it's something that I love to do and something that I cherish. It's one of the only things in my life that I selfishly do for me.

It's my heart, my thoughts, my beliefs, passions, and dreams on a computer screen. Time these days only allows me to put into blogging the exact reason why I started this space in the first place. To write.
If it allowed me to do more? I would. If it allowed me to comment more, reply more, and visit more? I would.

But today, my time only allows me to write. And I'm grateful I'm even able to do that.

I read what I love, and I love what I read. I write what is on my heart, and my heart is in what I write. Devote time into what matters, and never do something only to expect something else out of others.

It's taken me a long time to learn from my own mistakes, but I have. And because of it, I've never loved blogging as much as I do today.

Because I do it for me.

15 Questions with the Husband

1. Describe your relationship in three words

"Full of Love." And he's totally not a mushy kind of guy.. and I promise it is not always full of love, but even when we argue, it sure is out of love.

2. What's your favorite thing to do with Becky.

"Going out to dinner." Yes, yes yes.

3. What is Becky's biggest pet peeve?

"Diddle Daddling." Very true

4. What's your favorite meal that she cooks

"Homemade Pizza." Veggie, cheese, pepperoni pizza. 

5. What is your least favorite meal

"Stuffed Bell Peppers." Funny, because when I first made this meal, he was obsessed. Now he cringes at the thought of me making them. I still do... with high hopes... but I don't think it is happening.

6. A day you never want to forget

"The day our children were born." I concur. 

7. Idea of the best date night

"Bdubbs and Draft Beer." We used to do this at least one time a week pre-babies, and I agree that it was the best kind of middle-of-the week date night. For real dates, our favorite is definitely going to a fancy dinner downtown and staying at a hotel. But it's been a while, and we are so overdue.

8. Whats Becky's favorite movie

"Bad Santa." If there is a movie out there that tells you anything about my humor, this would be it. I kid you not, I saw this movie at least 20 times in the first year that it came out, 4 of those times in the theatre. Now that I'm talking about it, I need to actually go rent it {I once owned it}.

9. What's your favorite memory with Becky pre-kids

"The day I met you." Such a generic answer, but I couldn't agree more. I don't want to say specifically the first day, as much as the first week and everything that lead up to us being together. It all just kind of fell into place, and it was pretty story-book like. 

10. If you could travel anywhere, right now, where would you go?

"Russia to meet Becky's family." I was definitely not expecting this answer, but it really put a lot of thought in my head. Most {pretty much all, aside from immediate} family are in Russia, and my husband has never met them. In fact, I have not been back myself and they only knew me ever as a little girl. It would be very interesting to travel with Andrew and show him this different life that I once knew. 

11. What do you love most about your wife

"The way she loves her family. " 

13. How many children do you want to have.

"2-3."

14. This or that: New house or trip to Europe. Football game or Basketball game. Dark or Light. Sweet or Sour.

"Europe. Football. Dark. Sweet."

15. What do you think about blogging.

"I don't know. Sips wine. Depends on what I get out of it."

Deals of the week, Halloween, and Things I'm Loving= Happy November

{ONE} Halloween

Well, as I mentioned earlier... our trick-or-treating was changed {for the entire State} to another day due to "severe thunderstorm" heading our way. I am happy to report that there were no dangerous winds and not a single thunderstorm or lightening. You know what we had? We had rain. Rain. Rain that could have been dealt with an umbrella, cute little Halloween costumes, and a bunch of happy kids running door to door getting their candy. But no point in dwelling on things we can't change, so we made the best of it and had a great evening, and our kids had the best of fun with their little friends. Can we promise one thing though...not to become the society that begins to do crazy things like postpone Christmas for days that we know it will snow. I wouldn't be surprised.

{TWO} Deals of the Week

Jackets, cardigans, and more. Up to 75% off. This one below? Originally 160, on sale for 19.

Women's tops. Lots of button downs, dresses, and tunics.

Old Navy skinny jeans {that I rave about below} are on sale for $17 + extra 20% off using code: onsavenow

Wooden toys {great Christmas gifts} for up to 50% off

{THREE} Recipes.

I have been on some sort of new recipe kick lately. I get that kick right around this time of the year, and it varies from desserts to a variety of dinners. So anyways, I thought I would share my thoughts on these recipes and what worked and what didn't, what we loved, and what we didn't.

1. 7 layer bars.  I did exactly by the book, except for some reason when I came home from the grocery, the coconut flakes were missing. Did it matter? No. There was enough sweetness and heaven on those bars that I did not notice the difference. I decided that next time I'm going to do a variety of nuts {pecans, walnuts, almonds} and cut out some of the chocolate. I know, crazy idea.
2. Beef Barley Soup. We don't really eat beef in our house, but when we do, it always is because of a beef stew.  When I saw this on pinterest? I knew I had to try it. I started reading through the comments
3. Barbecue chicken pineapple pizza. This recipe was good. Very good. But time consuming. Very time consuming. I did some changes. For instance, I used this recipe on two pizzas. And no, you don't need to "double up." Except I did pretty much double up on the veggies and spices. As for the chicken? 1 pound is more than plenty. And the cheese? You only need that much for two pizzas... unless you are obsessed with cheese. 

{FOUR} LOVING

My old navy skinny jeans. I keep ordering more pairs, different color denims, blacks, colored, white, you name it, I have it. They are just the best fit, and when they go on sale, I love it.

Munchkin Click Lock Fresh Food Freezer Pops. I shared my favorite fruit recipe last week, but forgot to mention the product that we use to freeze them in, and one that I am loving for the kids. It's a small version of typical freezer pops, and is awesome for little ones. The perfect bite size.

Infantino Squeeze Station. I've been putting this to great use lately, as this is my way of getting lots of good veggies and fruits into the kiddos. And they love pouches. Homemade pouches that save me money? Even better.

{FIVE} November.

And most importantly, and on the brighter side, today means November. Which means we get to celebrate one of the most important months of the year. The month that made us parents. A little girl that gave us the title of mama and papa. And of course, the beginning of two of our favorite holidays to celebrate. A lot to be thankful for, and a lot to look forward to.