When pregnant, you hear so many things from other moms. Advice, tips, suggestions. Whatever it may be, they stick with you and once you become a mom you may even find yourself saying some of the things you often heard said to you. Here are a list of the most common mom talk. I'll tell you what was true or not for me.
Sleep now, because you'll never sleep again. False. Yes, we don't get to sleep as often as we like or whenever we want, but somehow you just learn how to function, to nap when baby naps {when you need to}, and to go to sleep early. Sometimes? I get 10+ hours of sleep. Not to mention the nap {or two} taken during the day. But really, sleeping all through pregnancy does not somehow fix the sleep later on. But sleeping is nice, so do sleep.
You'll drop 20 pounds before even leaving the hospital! False. Um, I don't know why I kept hearing this, but I never dropped that much. I think it was 9 pounds for both babies. Not sure how it was only that because the babies' weights, placenta, and fluid combined should have been more than that. But regardless, it was never close to 20. I wish.
Breastfeeding does shed the pounds. Absolutely true.
You take less pictures of baby #2. True. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that you are on the go, and busy. Yes, I think that's mainly what it is. But also? I think you just tend to enjoy the moments so much more, and capture when you need to. You know how I see it, I have about 10 pictures of myself as a child. My children have that times a thousand. We're good.
Boys are mama's boys and girls are daddy's girls. False. Elliana is a mama's girl through and through, and has no signs of changing {although I am sure we will go through phases}. Graham loves his mama... a lot, but he just lights up and adores when he sees his papa. So I would say both my kids are mama's kids, but that also has a lot to do with the fact that they are with me all hours of the day.
Follow your mom gut. True. True true true. I want to yell TRUE at the top of my lungs. It is by far the best and only advice you need. It is amazing how much our gut can tell us. And how accurate it is. If I only had to choose one truth to share in this post, it would be this one.
You will be so busy with babies you won't have time to shower. Sometimes, for days. False. I shower every day. Every day. I can't function without a shower and if it means plopping the kids in front of the door and giving them a toy {or gasp I-pad} to shower, then whatever it takes. It's 5 minutes out of the day.
You will forget to eat. True. I have missed meals. All meals before. How do you miss all? By running around and being busy, and by the time you get home to make dinner, you are no longer even hungry for real food. You go straight for the ice cream. No worries, the children somehow get 3 meals, 2 snacks, all with 4-5 different choices per meal.
You are not to talk about your children on dates with your spouse. False. Such a silly rule that annoys me when I hear people say. Our children bring us the utmost happiness... our love grows even more when we talk about our children. Guess what? I want to jump on my husband when I hear him and look at him while he talks about our children. Now that's a fact.
Baby number #2 will change the ballgame. True. I don't want to say that life gets harder, as it does just busier. There is so much less time to lay back, kick your feet up, and relax. Less time for yourself and hobbies. But? There is so much more fun. More laughter. More family and love. Truly. You lose time, but you gain something that is much more valuable.
Coddling on babies and carrying them around will spoil them. False. Please move along.
You find yourself spending all your money on baby clothes... and hesitate to press the "purchase" button on the items in the cart for yourself. True. I can't tell you how many times I had all these items in the cart for myself {all that were on sale, by the way}, and just could not commit. So absolutely silly.
You may lose friends when you become a mom {and wife}. True. I will write about this even more... but as much as they want to understand, there is just no way for them to 100% put themselves in your shoes. Does this mean that friends are lost in the process? Sometimes, unfortunately, it does. The good ones? Will stay.
You find yourself listening to the toddler tunes and watching the toddler shows even when they have fallen asleep. True. Then halfway into the ride home, you realize they have been passed out, and quickly change the channel. I mean... you even sing the songs when they aren't in the car.
You can't go to the grocery store with kids. False. You can. I mean, if I saw a woman do it with 6 kids {all ages 8 and under---guess}... then I sure can do it with two. The art of babywearing. And bribery.
The older, experienced moms know it all. False. People will try to make you think that because you are a new mom, mom of one, that you are just a newbie and that you don't know what you are doing---whereas the other experienced, mom of multiple, do. I remember a mom of 3 one time writing a post about "new moms" and how she gets so tired of hearing them talk about "their babies sleep through the night"... she then proceeded to say that 6 hours doesn't count, and to stop trying to flaunt it because babies at 2 months just don't sleep through the night. Interesting, because at the time, my little lady was sleeping 12 hours at a time. What I got out of that? She had three babies and none of them had ever slept through the night at an early age. So? That meant that just doesn't exist. So? I've learned that experience is unique with every baby. No matter how many you have.
There is unsolicited advice out there. True. And it never goes away.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Define BAD for me, because I'm having a hard time understanding you. BAD parent.
I am always amazed by the "mommy wars" out there. How easily the "bad parenting" gets thrown out there. On forums. On blogs. General conversations out there just surfing the internet.
You see, to me....
I know, I know, I'm not preaching anything new around her. Judgements. Criticism. Varying viewpoints and negative undertones. Just saying the word "mommy wars," gets people all sorts of fired up. It's something you hear about all the time. Will it go away? No. Am I covering anything new here? Probably not.
But, I just cannot help but notice. People are quick to judge. Women are quick to judge. I raise my hand. I've been there. I'm guilty of it. Sometimes we are guilty and don't even know it. The flaw of human nature. But I'm not talking about just judging the mom who is smoking around her children. Or the mom who leaves her 2 year old at home alone to go party. Or the mom who turns her head, knowing her child is being assaulted in some sort of way. Better yet, the mom who hurts her own children herself.
But, I just cannot help but notice. People are quick to judge. Women are quick to judge. I raise my hand. I've been there. I'm guilty of it. Sometimes we are guilty and don't even know it. The flaw of human nature. But I'm not talking about just judging the mom who is smoking around her children. Or the mom who leaves her 2 year old at home alone to go party. Or the mom who turns her head, knowing her child is being assaulted in some sort of way. Better yet, the mom who hurts her own children herself.
To me, bad parenting is well... bad parenting. There is no grey area. You either love, protect, and try your very best. Or you don't. Period. Whether one makes some decisions that others may not agree upon or not, doesn't necessarily constitute them as bad. It's the intent that is behind the action that counts. And counts the most. Being a mom who doesn't know all the right answers at all the right times isn't bad. It means we have room for growth and learn in this wonderful experience of motherhood. At the end of the day, we are all just humans.
You see, to me....
The mom who gave her child a fry, ice cream, or any other treat? Is a mom who understands that you can't keep children away from everything out there, and even if she fed her child fruits and vegetables every other meal of the week, you wouldn't know it because one does not have the ability to see into other people's lives. So how do you exactly know how a parent feeds their child? And further, what right do we have to assume what is best for another person?
The mom who comes up with all these pintastic great ideas for crafts and birthday parties and then takes pictures of them? Is a mom who is engaging with her children. Period. She may enjoy this. I bet the kids enjoy it too. And making memories in the process. One does not know the time or money that it took to create that party or craft, and one cannot assume what is or isn't not important on the list of things moms do for their children. So if she wants to great a v-day craft from pinterest versus buying it from the store? Then bravo! That's worth celebrating.
Speaking of that mom that takes ten million pictures? She's a mom who loves to document. She may be artistic. She may have a passion for photography. She may even, gasp, love her children so much that she wants to remember them at each and every stage. You don't know how long it took for her to take those pictures. Whether or not she was actually participating or not. But guess what you do know... she was there. And that means more to that child than all those children who's mothers aren't there, don't engage, and have never participated in any kind of activity with them. Think about that one.
The mom who participates in crazy holiday traditions, any and every one known to man kind? She's not showing off. She's not trying to make you look bad. And she most definitely is not a bad mom. She loves to see the smile on her children's faces. She lives for moments like this. And guess what? She can because it's her life, her family, her children. She's not thinking about you, believe it or not.
The mom who chose not to breastfeed. She is a mom who has that right to make that choice. That it's her choice to make and no one elses. Although I'd love to know that every mom out there put their best effort in trying, I cannot tell you what each woman went through in the process. I would never think that a mom is bad for choosing not to, and the most important part about this is that their children will not know any different either. That's the key.
To the mom who makes her children the center of the world. She is worth applauding and congratulating. The focus is put in the wrong place here. Lets not focus on the ones who's life revolves around their children... worry about the ones that could care less about theirs. Those children beg for their mother's attention, love, and affection. Do you think a child has ever complained about a mom loving them too much?
To the mom who lost her patience in public. She's a mom who's been where we all have at one point or another. Whether we remember it or not. You never know what someone has going on in their lives. You never know how that child is. The struggles within that family. Or just the off day that one may be having.. You may just not know.
The mom who had her child buckled in wrong in the car seat. Is a mom who most likely just didn't know. So, send a nice message. Private message. Don't try to humiliate her or make her feel bad for not knowing. Be kind and informative. Passive aggressive doesn't get the child in the seat safely. Tweeting to your friends how annoyed you are with all the wrong car seat pictures is not actually getting those children in the car seat safely, now is it.
Bad parenting to me is plain and simple: Harming children, not loving those children, and endangering children {on purpose}. Bad parenting.
Good parenting? Showing them love, spending time with them, teaching them, and allowing them to grow.
The rest? Is just a difference in parenting. And like you and I are genetically different and will never be the same, the same could be said about parenting. No one person is better than the other, no one style of parenting is better than the other. And believe it or not, there is no such thing as the perfect way. When you and I figure that little secret out?
We may start to become better human beings.
The mom who participates in crazy holiday traditions, any and every one known to man kind? She's not showing off. She's not trying to make you look bad. And she most definitely is not a bad mom. She loves to see the smile on her children's faces. She lives for moments like this. And guess what? She can because it's her life, her family, her children. She's not thinking about you, believe it or not.
The mom who chose not to breastfeed. She is a mom who has that right to make that choice. That it's her choice to make and no one elses. Although I'd love to know that every mom out there put their best effort in trying, I cannot tell you what each woman went through in the process. I would never think that a mom is bad for choosing not to, and the most important part about this is that their children will not know any different either. That's the key.
To the mom who makes her children the center of the world. She is worth applauding and congratulating. The focus is put in the wrong place here. Lets not focus on the ones who's life revolves around their children... worry about the ones that could care less about theirs. Those children beg for their mother's attention, love, and affection. Do you think a child has ever complained about a mom loving them too much?
To the mom who lost her patience in public. She's a mom who's been where we all have at one point or another. Whether we remember it or not. You never know what someone has going on in their lives. You never know how that child is. The struggles within that family. Or just the off day that one may be having.. You may just not know.
The mom who had her child buckled in wrong in the car seat. Is a mom who most likely just didn't know. So, send a nice message. Private message. Don't try to humiliate her or make her feel bad for not knowing. Be kind and informative. Passive aggressive doesn't get the child in the seat safely. Tweeting to your friends how annoyed you are with all the wrong car seat pictures is not actually getting those children in the car seat safely, now is it.
Guys, we are sitting here worrying about the children that need not be worried about. Worried about the parents that do not need your worrying. Worried about the choices that people are making that are not harming anyone, especially you or your family. Why? What is one accomplishing by worrying about such people. Better yet, what is one accomplishing by talking about those specific parenting styles. Why not worry about the children who are physically, emotionally, and verbally abused. Worry about the child who is starving. Worry about the child that doesn't have a warm roof over their head. Worry about the children who were left by the people that brought them into this world and have no one to tell them that they are special in this world. And if you are truly worried, and if you are concerned for the well being of a child, then ask yourself what exactly are you doing about it.
Does anyone truly think that moms who take pictures of their kids, do cute little crafts with them, give them ice cream for breakfast, place them in front of the TV from time to time, and coddle them are actually "bad?" Do we? Do we think those children should be taken away or deserve a new mother? Do we?
I bet the answer is no.
I ask you this. What do we say to a loved one, family or friend, who happens to admit to doing the opposite of what you may be passionate about---such as breastfeeding, or not crying it out? Often times we say, "Yes, but I know you are a great mom." And we believe it. Because we see the love that the person has for their children. Now, I ask you this.... why not also see the good in a complete stranger as well. Instead of automatically seeing the bad {or what is "bad" in our eyes}. Why not just give them the benefit of the doubt. How do we trust that our family and friends are doing the right thing, but someone we barely even know is not?
It sounds silly when you think about it.
You know, I just think all of this sounds silly and it is amazing that it is even one of the hottest topics out there. Parenting. To me, before we go throwing out absurd statements on bad parenting, before we go spreading all this hatred on the internet about people we don't even know, before we assume what their life looks like 100% of the time, we need to think really hard about what those words actually mean.
It sounds silly when you think about it.
You know, I just think all of this sounds silly and it is amazing that it is even one of the hottest topics out there. Parenting. To me, before we go throwing out absurd statements on bad parenting, before we go spreading all this hatred on the internet about people we don't even know, before we assume what their life looks like 100% of the time, we need to think really hard about what those words actually mean.
Bad parenting to me is plain and simple: Harming children, not loving those children, and endangering children {on purpose}. Bad parenting.
Good parenting? Showing them love, spending time with them, teaching them, and allowing them to grow.
The rest? Is just a difference in parenting. And like you and I are genetically different and will never be the same, the same could be said about parenting. No one person is better than the other, no one style of parenting is better than the other. And believe it or not, there is no such thing as the perfect way. When you and I figure that little secret out?
We may start to become better human beings.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Need Valentine's Day Basket Ideas? I got them for you! Both boys and girls!
With Valentine's Day right around the corner {one month away!} , I thought I would get on it and put together a list of some of our favorite things to fill a kid's basket with. Some of these we are planning to get for our kids, and others we already own and recommend to all of our loved ones--family and friends. I included a variety in the list from books, to toothbrushes, stickers, and little toys. Even lollipops for those that like to include a little sugary treat for their loved ones.
All of these are from Amazon {affiliate links are used} because as you all already know, I am a BIG fan of Amazon. From their free {and FAST shipping} to their remarkable customer service {no hassle returns}, it is by far my favorite place to shop online. It is also the best thing ever created for people like me who absolutely despise going to the store to shop. That and I save way more money by doing it all online, adding up my totals, changing my mind on things, and finalizing my order. Versus when I'm at the store, throw a bunch of stuff in my cart, and end up spending way more than I had planned to.
All of these are from Amazon {affiliate links are used} because as you all already know, I am a BIG fan of Amazon. From their free {and FAST shipping} to their remarkable customer service {no hassle returns}, it is by far my favorite place to shop online. It is also the best thing ever created for people like me who absolutely despise going to the store to shop. That and I save way more money by doing it all online, adding up my totals, changing my mind on things, and finalizing my order. Versus when I'm at the store, throw a bunch of stuff in my cart, and end up spending way more than I had planned to.
3. Toddler cd
{Our favorite}
{Our favorite}
7. Finger Paint
8.Toddler Hairbows {Our favorite}
{Our favorite}
9.Toddler Toothbrushes {Our favorite}
{Our favorite}
10.Tom's of Maine Fluoride Free Children's Toothpaste, Silly Strawberry, 4.2-Ounce (Pack of 3)
{The only thing we use}
{The only thing we use}
11.Melissa & Doug Crayons {We've had ours for 2+ years and you can barely tell they are used.... that and not a single one BREAKS! Genius}
{We've had ours for 2+ years and you can barely tell they are used.... that and not a single one BREAKS! Genius}
13.Sticker Book {This is the best kind of learning book with stickers---lots of parental interaction and communication and learning with these, our favorite}
{This is the best kind of learning book with stickers---lots of parental interaction and communication and learning with these, our favorite}
14.YumEarth Organic Lollipops, 8.5 Ounce Bag
{They are really yummy}
{They are really yummy}
16.Mereader
{There are maybe 6 different types---Princess, Mickey Mouse, Thomas the Train, and more}
{There are maybe 6 different types---Princess, Mickey Mouse, Thomas the Train, and more}
Other things you can throw in there:
1. Sippy cups ---Our favorite
2. New silverware ---OXO Tot Fork and Spoon Set, Aqua
3. New Bath Toys---Bath toys
Friday, January 10, 2014
If we were to have a coffee date I'd tell you...
If you follow me on IG then you have probably already seen this picture {and every other picture in this post... oops}, but this boy up there has been fighting his naps. Taking only 20 minutes naps, and then wanting me to carry him all day. Which don't get me wrong, I love dearly. However, we all know the Chaos post the holidays {yes, still}, and mama needed to get things done. Anyway, thankfully he sleeps through the night, and then the other day, I just tried to put him down at a later time... and what do you know... he slept longer! Guys, it's like being a first time mom over here... my first was such a breeze and so consistent that things are just way different with G. But, can we just talk about how sweet that smile is? That's how he gets me... each and every time.
We did finally get all the Christmas stuff down {two days ago}, and finally put into the attic {sat in the hallway for quite some time. I also scored some great deals at Wal-mart, Walgreens, and Kroger. 75% off! Make sure to check out your stores!
I saw a picture of a "naked" cat the other day, and I realized...boy am I not a cat person at the least. Kittens are cute, cats? Not so much.
I'm not even sure I'm a dog person anymore. After having kids, I just see them as pets and nothing else. I can see my MIL smiling right now--- "I told you so."
I watched 4 children ages 5 and under {okay, two were mine-so they came with the package} , and I cringe to even admit that it wasn't that bad. They are here with me again today too, so ask me after they leave what I really think. Does this mean I will have four? I don't think so. But definitely one more.
A house full of kids is a happy house.
I watched the Bachelor the other night {I haven't watched TV in who knows how long} and I have to say...I have a TV crush on Juan Pablo. He is just so likeable. I really like Andi, so I am going to pick early on that she wins. And I'm going to try to stay away from Reality Steve.
Not a fan of the first impression rose girl, by the way. I don't think many people were.
We survived the snow storm of 2014. Hopefully that will be the only and last one for a long time. Temperatures reached in the negatives and "felt" like -30. Of course I had to work the first two nights that it hit. Talk about an interesting ride.
So we found the best board game for kids. Our first, too. Wasn't sure how E would do following the directions... but she loved it. Begs for us to play. Very educational too--Alphabet, rhyming, sight words.
Super Why ABC Letter Game
Would you be surprised if I told you that I have already started shopping for Christmas. Christmas 2014. Yes, well you see---too many deals too good to pass up. I found the perfect stocking stuffer, so family if you read this... PLEASE do not click on this link. Eyes to strangers ONLY. But seriously, what a genius gift! Stocking stuffer favorite--family not allowed to look
I'm also trying to work on a post for Valentine's Day/Easter ideas. Anyone have any all time favorite things to put in the kids baskets? Do share!
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