Monday, April 28, 2014


Dear 50 corvettes that stopped traffic for 5 minutes,
I'm so glad that you were able to have police escort you, five by the way, and stop each intersection so that all 50 of you could zoom right by with your smiling faces and flowing hair and get to where you are going on time. I guess I'm a little bit confused as to what the emergency is exactly. But don't worry, I clearly did not have anywhere to be but work while I sat through two stop lights.
Dear husband's hat,
Thank you for fitting on my large head. Thank you for also making my eh-not-so-good-hair day all of a sudden acceptable. 
Dear baby Graham man,
Not sure why you are boycotting food all of a sudden. Food that doesn't consist of oatmeal, bananas, apples, and snacks. Everything else just seems to have a quick date with the floor as you proceed to launch your plates {angirly} on the floor. I mean, what child actually refuses pasta, or chicken tenders, or MAC N CHEESE. Oh but no worries, you have no problem using me for your milk needs. ALL THE TIME.
Dear polar bear,
You are my daughter's favorite animal at the zoo. Thought you might want to know.
Dear pork chops in the crock pot,
You looked so good. You probably would have tasted so good. And I'm really sad that I will never know because you sat in there for 8 hours only for me to come home and realize I never turned on the crockpot to begin with. 
Dear Elliana,
Tonight you told me that a boy said "I love you" to you for the first time. This made me giggle. I proceeded to ask you what you said back to him, and with a big angry look on your face, you told me "I saaaaaid no thank you." I told you it's okay to love our friends, and you were having none of it. I wouldn't think much of this, except over the weekend while playing at the park, you told your papa that you don't play with boys. I'm sure he was pleased with that. 
Dear garage sales,
You gave me a $3.00 large wooden box that is now storage to the ridiculous amount of stuffed animals in the playroom. I cannot begin to tell you how happy this makes me.

 Dear go word fish,

You were so easy to make, and so easy to please. Amazing what a few pieces of construction paper, scissors, marker, and paper clips can do. 

Dear George Clooney,

You probably never imagined making it into a blog post of letters, but, here you are. I know, you must feel honored. What I want to say is important though: Congratulations. Congratulations and that I am proud. I am proud that you have decided to settle down, but more importantly settle down with someone who seems so wise, traveled, and unique. I am ashamed to hear other women comment on her "looks" and how they are not good enough for you. She is beautiful, and I wish you well.

Dear laundry,

When will you finally learn how to put yourself away. Sitting in the corner in the hallway is not doing anyone any good. Stubborn are we now?

Dear Becky,
You started talking to laundry. You demanded things out of laundry. You expect it to listen. Now? It's officially to catch up on some sleep.
Good night.

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