Thursday, April 3, 2014

I don't see beautiful when I look in the mirror.

Do you ever watch something, read something, hear about something, and it automatically consumes you. It takes over the rest of your day. Takes over thoughts. And you cannot help but talk to yourself about how you are feeling. All because of this one thing that you heard or saw.

That's how I felt after watching this video.

 I turned it off and went on about my day.

Except, then I would start washing dishes and find myself closing my eyes with a million thoughts running through my head. I would throw in a piece of laundry and think about what it all meant. I would be playing outside with the kids and after my daughter repeated "mama" to me for the 10th time, I would finally snap out of it. Snap out of this world of "thinking" that was all started by the video. And then I drove to work and I wrote out my thoughts in my head. How I wanted to portray my feelings. How I wanted to piece together the exact thing that Denise Hoffman did so beautifully in his interview.

So here we are now. At the point where I am supposed to write these feelings down. Take them out of my brain and actually make something out of them.

What thought or thoughts exactly? That, I haven't decided.

There are a lot of ways that I wanted to approach this. At first I thought about writing a letter to my daughter and telling her how beauty should never define her. I scratched that idea. Then I thought about writing to my son. About how a woman is much deeper than her outward appearance, beyond the eyes, and digs right into the soul. I pondered this idea for a while, and then let it go. Not because these aren't things that I didn't want to tell my children. In fact, the opposite. But because I wanted to say something beyond that. That somehow, I knew that they would deal with this in their future life, and to not only expect it, but to understand it. To understand the human species and how we all have been betrayed into having this false belief on what the definition of beauty truly is.

You see, one of the quickest ways for us to judge another human being is through our eyes. We believe that we know them before even meeting them. Before even speaking with them. We have made our opinion within the first few seconds of seeing them. On how they dress. On the color of their hair. On their mannerisms, and the way they carry themselves. Tattoos or not. Clean or dirty. We make quick assumptions, and more often than not, if they don't fit the societal "norm" they typically aren't positive assumptions. It's a human flaw of ours. To judge on outward appearance before {if ever} speaking to the person.

So when I heard Hoffman say that, as a society, we have put such a high standard on women's looks and as a result we have discredited, ignored, and judged those that were not as beautiful as others, it got to me. He says that we may miss out on someone really special and unique because we never even gave them a chance. Because we walked on by and dismissed them altogether. Because we failed to see past what we expect to see.

I nodded my head. Yes. Yes. Yes. 

And it's true.

Our society....putting beauty above all else. Skinny bodies. Tan bodies. Beautiful hair. White teeth. The latest and greatest of a wardrobe. New shoes. Proper and posed. Manicured nails. And don't forget about all the skin moisturizers to keep us from aging. Forget lotions, go straight to the scalpel!

Here is the thing: I think it is okay to want to feel beautiful. I think it is within ourselves to want to feel good about our outward appearance. I believe that when we do feel beautiful when looking in the mirror, it changes everything. But who do I believe defines that beauty?


This is what I want my children to take from all this, and to remember as they grow; Beauty has nothing to do with what you look like in the mirror, the perfections that you see, and the societal expectations placed in front of us, but everything to do with how you feel when you look at yourself. It has everything to do with the happiness in our body, our skin, and our souls. Until we figure this little secret out, we will continue to run after this idea of perfection that is unreachable to even the most "beautiful" of people out there.

Because such perfection simply put: seizes to exist.

To my children: seek a different level of perfection, a different level of beauty, a different level of image. Seek the perfection of the human being, one that was left behind by God's Son. One that is kind. That loves. That gives. That forgives. That is honest. That is knowledgeable. That is strong, and powerful, and gentle in all that they do.

We can work hard at trying to make ourselves more beautiful on the outside, but nothing will give us the gratitude and happiness that one will feel by becoming a more beautiful person on the inside.

It's the kind of beauty that no amount of makeup, tanning beds, plastic surgery, or expensive wardrobe can ever buy.

It's priceless and it's within all of us.

Find that beauty, fight for that beauty, and don't ever ignore that kind of beauty.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. I had never heard of Tootsie or AFI, but I love this video. He got so emotional talking about how he realized that he missed out on getting to know interesting society is brainwashed and really missing out!! This was beautiful, thank you so much for sharing. I just wrote a bit on plastic surgery to stop bullying......but yeah, I would take being smarter or funnier or kinder over being more beautiful any day & I pray I raise my son to appreciate a woman's mind just as much as (or more than) her appearance! ♥ Thanks Becky.


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