How Safe Are We

Is this {blank} good for me.
Is that {blank} bad for my baby.
What is in {this product}.
What is in {that product}.
What does {this ingredient} cause.
What is {this ingredient}. Period.

It is like google and I were having a conversation. Friends. Although, I'd like to think that my real friends are not so gloomy. And google? Google is pretty gloomy these days.

I was asking google all sorts of questions. I was running looking at the labels at stuff in my house. Running back to the computer. Back and forth. Back and forth. I eventually asked google a very serious question....

Google: Am I even safe anymore?

I find myself in this dilemma. Googling. Researching. Reading. And reading. And more reading... And looking at the back of products now. Checking out the ingredients. Searching those ingredients. Reading all these all natural blogs. Trying to figure out why there is so much out there that I'm not aware of. And just when you want to go organic or do something better, another site is telling you that even those companies are no good. In fact, I would find websites that would have a breakdown of each "baby organic or all natural" product out there, what is in them, and how they too are "no good."

Which left me asking myself.... how safe are we?

So then, I'm like... let me take matters into my own hands. Take baby wipes for instance. You know what I said... "I'm going to make my own!". I got this. I google. I look at the products I need to buy. I make my list. And then. Stop right there. Someone in the comments brings up... well what about those dyes in the paper towels?

And I go. Hm. What about those? Which then even leads me to ask myself, Wait. What? Should I not be using paper towels now?

Google: Should I not be using paper towels? Chemicals? And wait. What about toilet paper? Am I going to have to resort to cloth towels... and wipe.

Then that search begins. And I am further bombarded with countless more articles and blogs to read about... you guessed it... paper towels. What do you know, two hours goes by and I have accomplished absolutely nothing. All I have done is question everything around me. What started out as a google search for how safe are baby wipes, turned into me wanting to pitch paper towels, go plant a garden in the backyard with our own fruits and vegetables{which we are going to do by the way}, and make a formula of "baby wipe" spray.

That is when a light bulb went off in my head. Everything will kill you or cause cancer. 

I know. Bold statement.

But in all seriousness, that is exactly what you will find when you dive into this research deal. There is absolutely nothing positive to say about any product out there. Listen to me here though. I'm serious. I'm becoming neurotic with this stuff and it has gotten to the point where it is driving me nuts. Why is it that nothing out there is safe anymore? Why is it that every product we use on ourselves and our children, and every thing we put into our mouths is not safe.

I'm learning over here. Day by day. I wish I had the time to research every little thing in our home, the ingredients on the back of the label, and the controversy behind each and every product made. I truly do wish I had the time. But at the same time, do I really?

Do I really want to live my life questioning everything around me. Spending so much time looking into every word and ingredient that I do not comprehend? Which is many by the way. Do we want to live our lives in fear and uncertainty? Whatever happened to just living and letting go of this...I can prevent cancer and death mentality. I can beat it.

Because at the end of the day... at the end of my countless hours of research upon research, reading upon reading, and running back and forth from one product to the next...I'm still left wondering.... am I ever going to be safe from "it all." All the warnings. All the recalls. All the research and studies. All the recommendations and not.

I know that as much as I wish I could just let it go and relax and put my trust in companies and products, it is just hard for me to do so when I have these precious children in my life. Because after all, companies are out there to make money? Yes? Yes. Do they care about my children? I would hope so. But in reality? Probably not.

My children. They have changed me you know. They have done amazing things to me, but they have also made me this person that wants nothing more than to do my best, be my best, know the most, and fight for their safety. Even when I know that I won't be able to keep them safe from "it all." 

There is still so much to learn. So many lifestyle changes to make. One day at a time. But at the same time? I do not ever want it to consume us. Because like I mentioned before? Nothing seems to be safe..."on paper." Everything has a warning behind it. Anything you search is linked to something bad. Even the "good" for you stuff can somehow be traced to something "not so good." I want us to still live and enjoy those little things once in a while. Like my "special" at taco bell, the cheesecake from Bravo, and a large diet coke from the McDonald's drive thru. It {our lifestyle} consumes me already, that sometimes, I just don't want to think about whether it is organic, paleo, gluten free, or so forth. Sometimes... I just want to eat because you know what, it tastes good. Treat myself. And not care.

But for now? I'll keep reading and making the changes that are right for our family.

We are taking steps and doing what we feel is right for our family.
But I do have to say that these days, I stop and think. More than I used to.
I ask myself a very important question...

How safe are we really?