I write Deep

I feel.... here I go starting with that line again...
I feel as though I have been writing deep around these parts. This blog of mine.
I feel as though I have to space out my "deep" posts that I have scheduled. Which happens to be a lot.

Why? Because I think to myself that people may be turned off by the deepness, the seriousness, the rainbows and butterflies...
And then I catch myself saying, "why do you care." Why do you care if people are turned off? If this doesn't exactly tickle their fancy. Why do you care if people would prefer to read sarcasm, humor, or rant of some sorts?

Why.

You know, that is a great question, and it is something I think about often. Thank you for asking. Every time I push back a post that I wrote from the heart, week after week, I find myself asking why not just hit the publish button. You know, because I did write it. It's there. It will be seen at some point in time. Why not now?

Because.

Because I don't want people to think I'm too deep. Because I'm not... Yet, I am.

You see, this is my little journal in a sense. Think about it. Think of when you kept a journal in middle school. Or high school. Or heck, maybe you still go old school style and keep one now. GOOD FOR YOU.

But think about. Do you remember writing in your journal your favorite oufits of  the day? Do you remember writing what you ate, what shows you watched this week {and what you thought of them}. your favorite products you purchased, and what exactly you thought about this celebrity breaking up with this one?

No? The great thing about blogging, is that there is no format to follow. There are no rules. If you want to post outfits, go for it. If you want to post recipes, go for it. If design is your thing and decorating is your style, well gosh darn it, you better be writing all about it.

So if writing deep is your thing, if writing to yourself, your children, and your husband is your thing, then I guess you have every right, right? So why not go for it.

Because this? This little space? It is my journal. It is that journal underneath the bed that has somehow landed in the hands of the public. Your hands. Your eyes.

And somehow I didn't run anyway from embarrassment or fear of being judged. Somehow I'm still here.

Yes, I am deep here. I am deep here often. But the reason is because that is how I define this space during this time in my life. As my journal.

If you met me, you would probably be shocked as to how opposite I am in real life. How sarcastic I am. How carefree I am. How funny {maybe not} I can be.

Because at the end of the day, I come to this place... not for a popularity contest, not to be viewed as funny or "cool"...but to simply write out my thoughts. To think through them. To somehow grow because of them.

It's a sort of therapy to me.

To lay all my thoughts out and close a chapter. Express something that has been heavy on my heart. And to remember. To be able to hold onto these thoughts, feelings, and memories forever.

So yeah, I get deep around here. But you know... that's okay.
My "deep" is your fashion, your recipe, and your DIY.

It's my journal, my outlet, my heart spilled out on the screen. And I know I will cherish these memories down the road.

I guess, what I'm trying to say is, this is me and who I am.  

I write deep.