Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Should we also keep children locked in at home? If we are talking about feelings and all...

I read in an article on breastfeeding where someone in the comments section said that women shouldn't breastfeed in public. Period. I know, not the first time we had heard this. However, there was a first here, and it was the reasoning behind why this person thought that women shouldn't. Their reasoning? Because other women may not be able to. Women who have struggled with it, or women who have their little ones at home while they are working. And I thought to myself, do people actually think this way? Do people actually believe this kind of stuff?

Here's what I got out of the comment that was made--- I struggled at something, it didn't work out, and now I'm mad when I see someone else doing it. So mad that I wish not to see it at all. So mad that I expect other women to respect my wishes that are... well... unknown to begin with. But if they do wish to carry on this act, the act of feeding their child, they should do it privately as not to hurt my feelings.

Fair enough?

What about the women who have lost their children. Or those who could never have children. Shall we keep children at home as to not hurt their feelings? Well of course not, you're thinking, that would sound absolutely insane to lock kids up to not hurt another person's feelings.

Then wouldn't you say it sounds pretty insane to go hide the breastfeeding women so that we don't hurt someone else's feelings?

You see, I don't know many people who breastfeed their children thinking to themselves "Ha, I hope that other women who can't breastfeed see this so that they are reminded of what I can do and what they can't." I don't know many people who announce their pregnancy hoping that someone who has fertility issues will read it. I don't know many people who would keep their children confined at home as to not hurt the mother that lost hers in a car accident. Now, this does not mean that they don't care about another person's feelings or that they don't want to be made aware, but they surely cannot predict who will or won't be hurt by something they do that in the end benefits their own child.

I read a really interesting article recently that I wish I had bookmarked to link here. Actually, the article had nothing to do with this topic, but there was one thing in particular that this author said that stuck with me.

People don't go out in public doing or having something that another person doesn't in hopes of running into that person and making them feel bad. People go on with their lives with you {the stranger} not in mind, believe it or not. They don't know your struggles, they don't know your weaknesses or losses, and they don't know what will or will not trigger your emotions. What they do know is that they must continue to live their life.

Here's the thing, as much as we want to believe that other people are watching us, that other people are out to get us, that other people care about us {the strangers}, believe me when I say this: no one does. Not because they have no heart, but simply because life is surrounded by sadness and struggles, and how can anyone ever be strong if we all choose to be defeated. 

Go on. 
Go on and live life.

And you {the stranger}, you and I, must acknowledge that there will be hard things to watch in life. There will be triggers and emotions that stem from another stranger simply living their life. But how fair is it for us to judge that person, to put unrealistic expectations on that person, and to ask them of something that we have no right to ask. Simply because we are hurt.

Yes, breastfeeding a child in public may hurt someone's feelings---the person that was never able to. Yes, seeing a pregnant woman walk down the aisle at the grocery store, with maybe 4 of her other children in hand may hurt someone's feelings---the person that has been struggling with fertility for years, hoping for just one child, while this other woman was blessed with so many {and doesn't even seem to appreciate them} . Yes, the mom who was able to lose all that weight so fast after delivery and show off her six pack all over Facebook may hurt someone's feelings---the person that has struggled with weight their entire life. 

Yes, feelings will be hurt when someone else is successful at something that we are not.

But should anyone ever hide their life, hide their accomplishments, hide their pride and joy all because it may hurt someone else's feelings?

I think not.

I think people need to realize that what they are feeling is within themselves. Whatever pain or suffering they are going through is not the cause of another {a stranger} individual. 

Why do so many people think that complete strangers need to be considerate of another person's weaknesses or struggles---without knowing them that is. How can a person identify what a person is going through simply by looking them? That would be nice. Absolutely. But it's just not possible.

I hope that when my children read this one day, that they remember to celebrate another person's achievements in life {even the ones that we are not able to accomplish}, to support and acknowledge hard work, and to put their own feelings aside to congratulate someone else. Being bitter, hateful, and resentful to another individual has never brought out any good. 

We need to carry our own baggage, while letting others fly with theirs.


  1. Agreed. I think this can so be related to the poster floating around Facebook "What's your excuse?" with the lady who lost all the baby weight with three kids. Reading all the jealous comments and articles after that was crazy. I think that's what it all boils down to with many of these issues: jealousy. We all have different gifts and talents and struggles. People need to stop taking everyone else's actions so personally.

  2. LOVE this post. I completely agree with you!!

  3. I read a great post by Glennon @ Momastery recently about how we need to realize that people aren't parenting AT us. People aren't breastfeeding AT other people who can't breastfeed. They are just parenting their own child. She said it a lot better than I can. ;)


  4. Well said. It really is such an unreasonable thing to expect, because every single thing we do could be seen as a smack to someone else, from the clothes you wear to the car you drive to your family or your pet. It would just get out of control!


 photo copyright.jpg
blogger template by envye