Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The Marriage Differences

I wasn't sure how I wanted to title this. Not necessarily marriage differences, I think just personal differences. It's fun to compare how different Andrew and I are, and at the same time, how compatible this makes us. How we can have our differences, we can laugh about them, and we can work through them as a couple. And best of all, how we just work.

Our Phones. Andrew is very particular about his. I, on the other hand, am not. Andrew is OCD in this area, where he has to clear his phone at the end of every night. In fact, it's such a part of his every day that if he happens to be on my phone for whatever reason, before he gets off he will also clear my phone. Which means all my contacts, conversations, and browser history is gone. Now, remember, I'm the one that only has 12 contacts saved. So then that whole "who is this again" when I get a new text starts up again.

My phone cracks? The whole screen. And I just don't care. In fact, I even told him I don't even need a smartphone next time around. He only laughed.

Also, when the opportunity came to get new phones because we were up for upgrades, I chose the one that was FREE. He chose the one that was the latest and greatest that cost $250. To me? An i-phone is an i-phone and I just can't bring myself to throw money away like that.

Clean Freak. He is. I'm not.

Chores. I shouldn't call them chores. Instead, household duties. Andrew likes to do the typical guy stuff---mow the lawn, take care of the yard, take the trash out, and fix things that need to be fixed around the house. In addition, he is obsessed with the kitchen. That is his area and a place that I always have to make sure is tidy {but doesn't always happen} before he comes home. A clean kitchen, to be honest with you, actually puts him at ease. What does a clean kitchen entail? All the dishes washed and put away, no clutter on the counters, wiped down countertops, and clean appliances.

I'm in charge of everything else. Toilets and bathrooms {although he used to do the majority of this}, floors {half and half}, laundry, picking up, windows, and so forth. And of course the mess that is otherwise known as "kids."

Being On time. I am, he is not. That is about the extent of that explanation.

The Children.  He's a little more uptight when it comes to things and worries more about them falling and hurting themselves. Which is ironic because I was that way for a long time with Elliana {especially at the park}, and have totally eased up in the past 6 months. I guess I just realize her capabilities and also know how resilient kids are. That and after watching her like a hawk, I have seen her master certain things.

Andrew also can't stand messes, and kids are the definition of messes, and I try to tell him that all is good in the world when there is a mess. Truly. He's learned to loosen up in this area and fully understands that it may be another 10+ years before we have a "clean" home.

Letting them just be kids. Sometimes I have to remind Andrew that you cannot set limits on everything and that sometimes you just have to let them be---jumping on beds/couches, banging on pots and pans, and even running around like crazy animals. Kids need to explore, they need to expel energy, and they need not feel like they are just a nuisance in this crazy world. Unfortunately, this world is good at making them feel that way, and we, as parents, fall into that trap at times.

Money. I am aware of money---mainly because I handle all the finances, and Andrew.... Andrew is more of the spender in the family. I think maybe it's because I am the person that looks at the money coming in, and going out, on a daily basis, so then I regret spending money on certain things because of this. I know women tend to be the "spenders" typically, but since I am a money-saving-addict, I just cannot bring myself to spend money on some of the stuff that Andrew does. Like Starbucks. If he could, he would buy a Starbucks drink every day of his life. To me? Starbucks is a treat and otherwise a waste of money. Also clothes. He must buy from Banana Republic, JCrew, and Polo. Me? I'm a what's the best deal out there kind of girl. I haven't paid full price for something in years. Not that I can remember anyway. Andrew? Can spend $50 on a shirt and it's not a big deal. The latest thing is the new x-box! I cringe at the thought of throwing away $500 on some toy.

We do agree on one thing in regards to how money is spent, and that being--- date nights and vacations. We go all out on both with no regret. It's what makes us happy, and what we enjoy the most. Being together, or being with our family.

Getting back to People. He has to respond to the person right away. No matter what. Me? I'm like... eh... I'll respond later. And then days and weeks go by... no wonder my friends get mad at me!

So those are just a few things that make us different, but somehow make us work. We are similar in a lot of ways as well, and I'll definitely have to put something together for memory sakes.


  1. This is almost exactly how my husband and I are! {exception being, he doesn't clear our phones} :)

  2. I was just telling my husband yesterday to ease up on the kids, let them jump on the couch or bed, let them have a snack, get on the floor and play with them! He wants them to be quiet clean all day long. They are 22 mo and 31/2

  3. I'm the same way with money - I got the free iPhone and I CANNOT spend money on Starbucks!!

  4. Josh & I are the same as you on money/clothes. I will drop $10 10 times over and get 10 different cute shirts that might only last me a season. Josh will shop at Dick's or Buckle and drop $30 on a dri-fit t-shirt. I mean, it's a T-SHIRT! You get them for free all the time. My favorite is when he gets dressed and we go out. If he sweats at all, he'll stop somewhere to buy a new shirt. Drives me nuts!!! But, keeps life interesting... & I'm sure, realize it or not, it's one of the reasons I love him, lol.


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