Tuesday, August 13, 2013

If you don't know what breasts were made for: look it up.


I am sure many of you have watched the video that has gone viral on the breastfeeding in public deal. I will not post it here, as you can view it on you tube, Facebook, or the Huffington post. It's everywhere. What I do want you to read though is the comments on the article by Huffington post. You can click on the previous link, however, below I have provided a summary of what I read to save you the trouble. Trust me, no need to go through all 20,000 comments to find all the ignorant ones. They all say the same thing, and yet not a single person {on the opposing end of public breastfeeding} actually had anything logical to say. Not one.

To begin with, let me just say that for me, although I could not believe that someone had the decency to actually interrupt a mother feeding her baby,  what angered me even more was when I read the thoughts of the public. By Americans that I am so ashamed of. Truly ashamed. As I continued reading, I became enraged. Enraged. There is not much that can make me angry when reading the internet. I normally don't take things to heart, as I have read many things that I am opposed to, and ridiculous ignorant statements in my life {plenty of them} before, and believe that the internet should be taken lightly. However, there is nothing that will compare to what my eyes read today. Nothing.

I don't think my fingers can type fast enough to accurately articulate my thoughts in an understandable manner. There are not enough words to describe my feelings toward some of the most ignorant human beings out there. I know I shouldn't be shocked... there will always be ignorance in this world, however, this is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.

So I feel as though, the best way for me to start is to just summarize those comments for you into categories and some of the ones that caught my eye. I went ahead and made my own personal comments in red. Pardon my language, I couldn't hold back.

Lets talk about the comparisons

Scratching my nuts in public is totally legal but I don't do it, You know why? Because I know other people don't want to see it. -I've seen plenty of men "Scratch their nuts." Last time I checked it neither provide nourishment or life to a baby. And yes, I don't want to see it.. but guess what? I just don't look. Practice moving your eyes. It truly isn't as hard as you may think.
All parts sexualized by society and deemed "private" should remain tht way in Public. If milk or urine can excrete from there, it's probably something you should keep to yourself. Children should be taught about the human body in school and at home. Not in a Denny's. - This statement contradicts itself as a whole. You agree all parts are sexualized by our society, but you say that the human body should be taught at home or in school? So if you did the proper teaching, what's the problem? If your children know that breasts are made for feeding babies, what's the problem? If you want to move away from sexualizing the breasts, why not answer the question that a child may have and state the truth. Again... what's the problem?
Get real..feed your baby at home or in a quite place. Its supposed to be a "bonding" moment, your not cattle. -No but we are mammals, and breasts are made to feed children. You know where "mama" comes from right? Are women supposed to stay home until their children are done breastfeeding? For a year? Two years? Isolate the breastfeeding women! Great answer.
Truth be told, women want their cake and to eat it too. They want to be able to pull out their glands and for people not to be shocked, but then also want their titties to slightly hang out and attract cavemen when they need the attention. Take a wild guess... a man wrote this. I bet he's a winner.
How would you like it if I used a bedpan in her presence. -I'm sorry that you have to use a bedpan, however that is illegal and breastfeeding is not. One provides nourishment and the other excretes waste. So, where is your argument?
I should also be able to urinate in a cup in public. It is very natural. - Again, one is illegal, the other is not. And I don't know many people that urinate in cups. I do know many babies that breastfeed though. When will the real argument begin?
If men decide to throw out their parts and proceed to urinate in public you would be the first to scream but you expect to throw out your ugly parts and people should just gush over how wonderful you are. Get real and cover up your very unattractive parts that nobody wants to look at. -One, this person sounds like they hate breasts. Sounds they have a problem, not the other way around.
The word is full of screwed up mothers, and this appears to be one. there are prostitutes running around with breasts exposed, and the police are picking them up. The reason, decency. same principle. If you let your dogs copulate in a mall, someone would ask you to stop, and these folks have the same right. - You are right, the world is full of screwed up mothers. Breastfeeding mothers? Mothers trying to nourish their baby and meet their needs? NOT ONE OF THEM GENIUS. And you also just compared them to prostitution. Who's the one that is, pardon my language, effed up? And that right you speak of? DOESN'T EXIST. 

Lets talk about the comments about "rights"


If another parent doesn't want his or her child witnessing an ample breast pouring out of a top in public, that's their right also! - Your child should see it! So they know what a breast is made for! And 75% of the breast is covered when breastfeeding. By the babies head, by the woman's arm, and by their mouth. I'm pretty sure you see more breast coming from the woman in the low cut shirt. My question is, who is doing something that is actually beneficial to life? And your right, again, doesn't exist.
I don't know that another parents should be forced to answer a question from their child about your boobs. It shouldn't bother adults but I can see small children being effected. - Isn't that a part of parenthood? Teaching your children. Isn't that your responsibility? Steer them the right way. Educate them. So that maybe they will grow up supporting women and mothers out there, not bringing them down. And tell me, please, how is a child ever effected by seeing a mom breastfeed? Steer me to that study you speak of. Are there longterm effects that we are not aware of?  
I am so sick of women who try to make it a big deal that they have the "right" to breastfeed in public, they need to have respect for everyones right and at least cover up. -Sorry that you are "Sick" of it, but guess what... that "right" that you speak of? Is an actual right. You being "sick or uncomfortable" is not one. So please, you don't make a big deal about something that is the law.
I don't want to have to answer a question from my 4 year old - what is she doing!!!- But you should! YOU SHOULD! That's why you are the parent. Start now!
Okay so I will ask the question: Why can't I smoke in public? IT'S MY RIGHT. It is because I am infringing on someone's else RIGHTS! Someone else MIGHT BE offended - that's why. Use some CLASS and discretion. Neither of which this mother has. - You do NOT have a right to NOT be offended. Simply put. No such right exists. Smoking is a health hazard... breastfeeding is the complete opposite. I wonder why they made it illegal to smoke in public places and breastfeeding not? PEOPLE PLEASE EDUCATE YOURSELF ON THE LAW!
 I have the right to not have to see a womans breast pulled out in public. No, in fact, you don't. You have the right to walk away thought. Period.


Lets talk about the perception as to why these women breastfeed


These women act like they are the first generation to breast feed and want all eyes on them. - No, in fact the complete opposite. They would like for you not to stare, and most definitely not to ask them to stop. They could care less about you and your eyes. 

People like this mother are extremely selfish and only do this to attract attention to themselves. Most "progressives" are only progressives because they think it shows them to be better people. Us realists see through this.  -SELFISH. Do we know what that word means? Do we know what breastfeeding entails? Pain, difficulty, giving up your body, changes, late nights, and so much more. Breastfeeding is the most selfless act a mother can do, as she works toward sustaining her babies life and giving her the best possible nourishment out there. The only person that is selfish is the one that wants a mother to cover up or stop feeding her baby because it makes them uncomfortable. You being uncomfortable is an easy fix... walk away or don't look. What is so hard about that?

So to sum it up, without going through all 10,000 comments, the people on the opposing side had the same argument all around. Their argument: women should not breastfeed their children in public unless you are using a cover up {some completely opposed to it with or without a cover up} because this would be the same as urinating, defecating, or scratching ones' balls in public. They believe that it violates the "rights" of those around us and would result in other mothers having to explain to their children why a woman's breast is out. And lastly, those who do it are simply attention-seeking for the title of "Best Mom" and want everyone to watch and stare.

First, urinating and defecating are not only illegal, but contribute nothing to society. Yes, you may argue that it is "natural" but to compare the two is not only absurd but absolutely ignorant. How could anyone take you seriously when you sit there and compare nourishment to waste. Legal to not. To those that have ever had such a thought cross their head, I strongly urge you to educate yourself on breastfeeding and the law. And seek some help.


Next, we commonly read about those that say it violates my rights, makes me uncomfortable, and not something me or my children need to see. I can understand that being uncomfortable about something is a feeling that one may not control. It is completely okay to be uncomfortable with breastfeeding, and no one is saying that you are wrong to do so. No one is trying to force it on you and no one is making you look. However, expecting others to accommodate to your issues on the matter is absurd and completely insane. Because the funny thing is you have control over your body and your eyes. They make legs for a reason. Walk away. They make eyes for a reason. Don't look. And children? If you are that afraid to educate your children on what breasts are made for, then you also have the ability to take them elsewhere. This is not a problem for the breastfeeding mother, this is a problem simply that is within yourself. Fix it.


My question, to those that raise concern about their children or any child for that matter being "exposed" to breastfeeding is this.... tell me what child has been scarred, damaged, traumatized, or ruined because of this? Point me to a study that shows me that breastfeeding is harmful to the eyes of a young child. Direct me to a place where I can understand why it is that children {all children} should not be educated on what breasts are actually used for. Exposing your children to breastfeeding, that is what you are really afraid of?  You really believe that breastfeeding is going to have some harmful effect on them? I think our children are exposed to much more hatred and ugliness in this world to actually worry about how they may view a woman feeding her child. And I'm surprised that these people actually take their children out in public, to the beach, or anywhere else a young woman might be with half her top hanging out. I bet those adults never actually worried about their children seeing that. Why? Because that is what the media is teaching them. Key point here, the media teaching the children.


Lastly, I want to articulate here that no mother ever breastfeeds her child in public to get attention. In fact, it is the complete opposite. The screaming, crying, interrupting baby? Quickly hushes down when you feed them. And the public? Is now happy again. Funny how that works. And so if you think they are doing it for attention, think about the attention they could get if they just let the baby cry it out while you tried to enjoy your lovely dinner with your friends. Or how about that long 5 hour flight? Oh, I bet you would be totally okay with a boob out then as long as it shut the baby up, right? So attention seeking? Trust me, the complete opposite. 


For those that believe all women should cover up or use a pump to get a bottle ready; Please understand that not all babies use a cover, and many babies will not take a bottle. Nor should a mother be required to do either just because it makes someone else feel better. Remember at the center of this argument is a baby who is hungry. Cover or not, the baby is getting fed. And on that note, please cover your head when you eat as well. Or like others suggested to the breastfeeding mother, take your dinner to the restroom. Opposed to that? Why. I don't understand. 


Breasts were made to feed children. See it any other way? That's your problem not the mothers'. It is a sad thing that our country has sexualized breasts in the manner that we have, but we have the ability to change that. Teaching your children about what breasts do mean? That's our responsibility as a parent, not the media. Do it early on so that maybe your daughter will not be ashamed about her body and fear of the public. So that your son may not disrespect a woman and understand the true meaning of her body. And so that we as a society not only be more open and accepting of something that is not only natural, a right, and necessary for the nourishment of a precious life, but also support and put an end to such ignorant comments and expectations of those that feel that they have a "right" not to be uncomfortable or have to "teach" their children what a breast is.

No such right exists.

Breastfeeding in public does. In all 50 states. 

50 comments:

  1. Great post! I'm a new mom and I am so tired of the looks and comments. People are so ignorant! Breastfeeding is the most natural thing to do. People bring their kids to hooters and that is ok but the one inch triangle of my breast that is visible from the side while I feed my child is rude and offensive... It just makes me nuts!

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  2. I read the first comment someone wrote "scratching my nuts" & how that person says they don't do it, I'm sure if we followed that person around they'd end up scratching their nuts in public at least once its just what guys do. It's not even on the same level of a woman breast feeding in public if you don't like it walk away you don't need to watch which most people do. This drives me crazy.

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  3. Loved this!! I cannot believe how people view breastfeeding, ridiculous! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.

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  4. Best post!

    I heart this 10x over coming from a breastfeeding mama. I used to always remember to bring my cover or have a blanket and then learned to just always wear a tank under my shirt and could modestly bf anywhere I went.

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  5. I still can't believe people make such a big deal out of this! Women can walk down the street with their ass and breasts hanging out but because it's sexy and breastfeeding is not, it's ok? BS.

    This is my favorite response to all of the "they should have to cover up" replies-

    "Maybe you could carry a light blanket to throw over your 13 yr old son's head to protect him from seeing nursing babies? Because nursing mothers have the legal right to breastfeed their babies in public without a cover and it is not considered public indecency."

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  6. Also I would like all of those people who think mothers should have to cover up to go eat a meal in a tent with 10 inches of space in 110 degree weather and no windows and see how they like it.

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  8. Pardon my language, but A f***ing men sister! It is sad that we live in a time where humans, men and women alike, are ashamed and uncomfortable with the sight of mothers nourishing their babies. But honestly, maybe it takes posts likes yours and women like Lucy to help the last few generations of humans to realize that we are all mammals and that it is NATURAL to feed our young from our BREASTS! I love that you are so honest and passionate about breastfeeding, and I love your blog! Thank you for standing up for what females were made to do!

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  9. That is so sad. It's this negative view of breast feeding as gross, unnatural and offensive that leads to less than 50% of American women exclusively breastfeeding to 6 months. There are other reasons that cause women to not be able to do so, but these negative views play a huge role in many women's decision not to breastfeed. Society needs to stop making women feel ashamed of their bodies. Society may have deemed the breast as sexual, but the act of breastfeeding? Now there's nothing sexual about it!

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  10. As a breastfeeding mother, whenever I am nursing in public I know I am just trying to make a statement and am hoping for a chance to flash my breasts to everyone around me. Thats why we breastfeed right-to be exibihinists. <that was my sarcasm font. When I breastfeed, I'm trying to do one thing; feed my baby. Women need to continue to breastfeed in public, cover or no cover, and maybe one day we can normalize breastfeeding. I will no longer sit in a public restroom next to a dirty toilet to feed my child. Breastfeeding isn't sexual, it's nourishment. My bottles just happen to be attached to my body :)

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  11. Great post! Those comments are infuriating and ignorant. I can't believe people still think that way.

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  12. Great post! Those comments are infuriating and ignorant. I can't believe people still think that way.

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  13. Great post! I live in Knoxville where all this happened. You're right the comments have been ridiculous and ignorant! Normalize breastfeeding!!!

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  14. Ugh. So gross. The idea that any woman is breastfeeding in public for attention is just so bizarre. I hate breast feeding in public but I do it everyday because my baby gets hungry. Nothing more, nothing less.

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  15. Love this post, Becky! The responses most people have are just ridiculous with nothing to back them up.

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  16. AWESOME POST! We have sexualized breasts. THAT is the problem. They were made for one reason and that is to breastfeed! It is unreal how ignorant some people can be!

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  17. Thank you for standing up for what you believe in. The video and the comments on the Huffington Post enrage me too, and I was only able to breastfeed for 3.5 months due to the fact that I was so uncomfortable with they way people were looking at me and treating me. It stressed me out and I didn't deserve it. Breastfeeding is 100% ok, I don't have to nurse in my car just bc you don't want to know that I am nursing sitting next to you. Do I make you eat your lunch in your car ?? No! Get real!

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  18. Get it girl! I can feel the steam coming out of your ears from here! :-) A girl friend told me the other day that one of her friends told her that she would not be breastfeeding because her breasts were her husbands toys, not her children's. I have no words!

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  19. Amen! Why is providing food and nutrients such a taboo topic? My word! People can be so ignorant.

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  20. I absolutely love this post! It is crazy how ignorant people are! A woman doing the right thing for her child should be praised.

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  21. Amen!! I love this post! I have forced myself not to care what others think and to continue to do what's best for my child.

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  22. I hope not one person gets offend or bite my head off about this. Breastfeeding indeed is something truly beautiful and I agree all the way! I hope one day I'll be able to do it myself. Now for the "bad" part. The problem is not that the breast is hanging out. Nor that everyone sees it. The problem is the society. Our society has sexualized every part of a women's body. The breast being one of them. You can ask an 18 year old boy about sex and not one of them will tell you that sex is about loving a person. Most of them look at sex as what porn lets their mind think it is. Yes is the parents fault for not teaching their children and yes the lady that asked her to cover up her attitude was not the best out there. But my question is would you do it in a church? My guess no. you would go to the nursery if not the restroom. So its all about ones own opinion and sadly that our generations and the ones that follow it have lost all respect for the human body and see it now as a sex symbol.
    Best example.??? Adam and Eve. they were naked and didnt know it until they sinned.
    So do i agree with asking them to stop! Absolutely not. Is something natural and amazing.
    Would I breastfeed in public? Not sure but I can assure you I'll buy a pretty cover as I do see my body as something private between my husband and I.

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    1. I'm pretty sure Eve would not have covered her breasts. That's a cultural assumption, but biologically it just doesn't make sense. And yes - it is a cultural problem, but the only way to combat it is for people to get used to it. Many adults will never be able to change their view on this, but there's still hope for our children.

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    2. Your missing the whole point of the adam and eve comparision. But like i stated above is up to the person doing it it. But just think about the fact that not every parent will teach their children that breast are for feeding babies and you have no idea on who is looking at you when you are doing it and those exact same kids that were NOT taught correctly are having improper thoughts of something thats so natural. But thats your opinion. And yes we have to teach our children but some moms don't believe in it. But just like i wouldn't tell anyone else's child to stop hitting or misbehaving in public i cant and will not teach them about my decision to use my breast for feeding my children instead of just being my husband personal toys.

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  23. I'm not a Mama, but I agree with you 100%. When I was living in Uganda, no one gave a woman breastfeeding in public a second glance. It was simply a woman feeding her baby. Only in America would we turn something so innocent and natural into something perverse and offensive. It makes no sense!

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  24. I couldn't even finish reading this because I was getting so mad! It's astonishing how ignorant people can be. My daughter hated the cover because she didn't like being covered up and she got too hot...she came first, so I nursed her discreetly without it...but I always resented the fact that I felt like I was doing something wrong. Thanks for the post!

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  25. I didn't read any of the original posts or watch the video but I read through everything on your post here. Even as a Mother who breastfed for over a year and will be again at the end of the month I am uncomfortable with seeing other women's breasts in public and definitely for other people to see mine - but you know what, JUST DON'T LOOK. how hard is it for these people to just look away if they find it uncomfortable? And in my opinion a child should know anyway about breastfeeding, my daughter will because shell see me feeding her younger brother. But when you teach a kid that milk comes from a cow is it not easy to include the part that women produce milk too?
    It is beyond me how people compared feeding a baby to urinating or even prostitution and to say a mother should stay at home while she breast feeds? That's just impossible! You can't always pump because you could have low supply or maybe you're just out longer than expected.

    Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world. I am proud of myself for breastfeeding even if I do personally always cover myself with a blanket (by my own choice, not because others think I should).

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  26. I find Americans to be especially uptight when it comes to the human body. I changed my one year old out of wet clothes very quickly by a bench at our local splash park and was scolded by a security guard and told I needed to change her in private. It was a one year old getting a new shirt and pants, not like I was changing a dirty diaper in the middle of a shopping center! I was shocked that it would even be a big deal! I breastfed my child until she was one and I was always very uncomfortable nursing in public, even with a cover. There should not be anything uncomfortable about nourishing your child but our society has stigmatized BF'ing so much. I brought my daughter to visit family in Europe when she was 7 months old and no one thought twice about seeing a breast feeding mom.

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  27. There's so much I can say about this but I won't. You basically said it all. Most of those people compared apples to lima beans.

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  28. Thank you for posting this. I especially liked your logical responses to people's illogical comments to the article. Thank you!!

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  29. I was mentally high-fiving you throughout this post. The ignorance of those people is truly astounding.

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  30. Reading people's comments made me feel so enraged... I hate how stupid people are! I get it, you don't want to see my boobs when I breastfeed, hey, I don't want you to see them either. But I'm not going to make my hungry baby wait (who doesn't understand the concept of waiting) nor am I going to hide at home until by daughter stops nursing.

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  31. UGH I so agree! Some of those comments make me want to cry because our society is so messed up with these ignorant and rude people. I just don't understand them. I will continue feeding my baby wherever and whenever she gets hungry. I'M FEEDING MY BABY. I've also read the article about the woman who refuses to breastfeed if she has a son because she feels it would be an advantage to the male species. Excuse me?! Again, it's FEEDING YOUR BABY! Good god, some people. That's why God made breasts! I will keep using mine for the right reasons! =)

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  32. Awesome post! I completely agree with you. I love the people comparing breastfeeding to dogs copulating. How people think the two are anywhere near close is beyond me. Personally, I wear a cover when I breastfeed. That's because I am a huge prude and I haven't yet mastered how to get my baby latched without completely exposing myself (he's only two and a half months old, I'm sure I'll ditch the cover soon enough) but I don't think I should be FORCED to wear a cover. As a breastfeeding mom, I do my best to avoid having to feed my baby in public. It is much more enjoyable to do it at home. But it happens and can't be avoided and I REFUSE to have to go hide somewhere to feed my baby. I shouldn't be shoved in a corner to feel disgraced when I am providing my baby with what has been scientifically proven to be the best thing for him.

    People are so backwards, I swear.

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  33. THIS IS AMAZINGGGGG!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS POST IN SOOO MANY WAYS! THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS!!

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  34. From one breast feeding momma to another... Great post! :)

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  35. What a great post! I didn't want to waste my time and energy reading the comments after I heard of the ignorance over there. You should link this post in the comments section! :)

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  36. I have internally ranted about this so many times... It's so crazy to me that what seems like obvious, biological, cold-hard common sense is not viewed that way by everyone. It's insane how your culture and upbringing can change how you think... Anyway, great post - I 100% agree, although I wish I didn't have to say it. I wish it was just 'the way it was'.

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  37. I lived in a small village in Ecuador for 2 years. Everyone breastfed in public. Literally, everyone. It wasn't debated. No one thought twice about it. There were large billboards showing women breastfeeding to encourage breastfeeding instead of formula. I can only imagine the reaction if there was a billboard in the USA showing a women breastfeeding.

    Breastfeeding isn't seen any differently than feeding your older children a banana. Because it's not. No one is breastfeeding in public because they wan't to appear sexy or cause a scene. They are breastfeeding in public because they need to feed their child.

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  38. LOVE this! Thank you for standing up for our right to breastfeed and publicly attempting to educating those who don't understand! It is so, incredibly sad that society has sexualized women to the point where we can't feed our infant {and older} children without it offending someone. I have been asked to cover up at church because it offends people. Literally, sitting in the back row, not drawing any attention, only one person in the whole room is looking my direction, I'm nourishing my daughter who is DAYS old, and somehow that's inappropriate? I am so shocked and appalled that breastfeeding is so controversial. I would LOVE to see America become like the village of another commenter living in Ecuador... accepting and encouraging of breastfeeding.

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  39. You addressed this subject very eloquently - well done!

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  40. First off, love this post. As a mom, though I didn't breastfeed (another ignorant argument amongst mothers that should never even BE, we should UNITE) I completely support women who do AND who aren't afraid of the public eye. EFF what anyone thinks, you're the parent, that's your baby, they have legs that can walk away, eyes that can look the other way.

    Aside from that, it is crucial we teach our children that breasts aren't sexual and I'm so glad you brought that up. I mean we're battling practically every TV channel/movie out there but it's a fight that's so worth it. I plan to teach my son what breasts are really for, I hope to see someone breastfeeding in public and I pray that he asks me what she's doing so he can associate breastfeeding with a baby's needs.

    I hope this brightens your day: http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/breastfeeding-note-from-pizza-waitress-pays-it-forward-164047499.html

    It really is a great article and shows that people DO appreciate mothers who aren't afraid to breastfeed. I appreciate you for having the strength to post about breastfeeding and I hope this encourages mothers everywhere!

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  41. I haven't seen the video, but I think it's SO ridiculous that people are so against or offended by breastfeeding in public. That's one reason why I refuse to do it in public, because I would hate for someone to say something about it to me. I'm just in awe of the women who are comfortable enough to breastfeed in public. Good for them!

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  42. AWESOME post. :) I haven't seen the video because I just am so tired of this topic. I'll feed and/or comfort my baby anywhere, period. If anyone ever has a problem with it, they can go jump in a lake. I'm not starving or torturing my baby by denying her the only things she wants/needs. She's a BABY, her happiness comes before any random adult I don't even know. If some people get off on making babies cry, they are truly sick.

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