Wednesday, October 30, 2013

My kids are going to be bad.

"Bad girl,  bad boy." It's something we, as parents, have chosen early on not to say to our children, mainly because we never want them to think that they are a bad person for the way that they are acting, or that they are only good if they do certain things or behave in a certain manner. Andrew and I had this discussion when our daughter was very young, and have had no issues following through with our decision. So bad girl, bad boy? They're just words not spoken in our home.

Imagine the look on my face when I first heard my daughter utter them while we were playing nicely at a local park. I instantly froze, mouth dropped open, and went through some fast-paced history run through in my head trying to think about where she could have possibly heard them.

"Elli, where did you hear that" I demanded.
"I'm going to be a bad girl," she says.
 Then goes on, "And Graham is going to be a bad boy."

Again, frozen, I sat there and thought about this. How do I have this conversation with her and explain to her that we do not say this and that children are not bad. I know, not a big deal, but because we stressed the importance of not saying it, we want to make sure that she understands the meaning of it.

"We may make mistakes and act in a way we shouldn't, however, that does not make us a bad person," I go on to explain to her. I tell her she's special and that we have never thought, yet alone, said such words about her and her brother. And to certainly not repeat them again.

She seemed pleased enough with my answer and went on to the yellow slide that she had already gone down 20 plus times.

But me? I was sitting there, still very much puzzled, and decided to call Andrew to talk to him.
"No, I've never said that to her," he tells me.
"Well she had to hear it somewhere." I replied.

And at that, we were both at a loss, and Andrew had to go back to work, and I just tried to brush it off as a one time thing.

And then again, and again it was repeated. "I'm going to be a bad girl. Graham is going to be a bad boy." All the way home in the car. At home. In between bites of food. In between playing. And I thought... oh my, she sure is stuck on this word, people are going to think we say this all the time.

Of course I tried to correct her and explain each and every time, but she just giggles and tells me..."But mama, you said I am going to be a bad girl!"

No I didn't.
Yes you did.
No I didn't.
Yes you did.

Oh man... did I?

Am I having some sort of old-woman crisis over here {exaggeration, by all means}. I mean, clearly, I must have said it if the toddler is telling me that I did. Toddlers are really good at telling the truth {at this age}, because they don't understand lies....just yet.

And then Andrew comes home with a package in his hand.
And we open it.
And Elli screams "Graham bad boy!!!!"

I looked at her.
Looked down at the package.
Looked back at her.
Back at the package.

And finally it all made sense. Graham is going to be a BAT BOY. And Elli was going to be a BAT GIRL. Except, the problem is that I was notified two weeks after purchasing her costume that it was no longer available, and we had to find a different solution. A super girl.

But now, I had it all figured out. A bat girl. A bat boy. I did tell her these things. She was right. But here I was stressing all day over something that was never said.

I just really suck at toddler language sometimes. Clearly.

So yeah. We're going to be superheros for Halloween. And I can't wait to share the pictures! 


  1. Hahaha this was the funniest thing! Can't wait to see pictures :)

  2. I love it! You guys are going to look so great!

  3. Oh my that is so funny! Yesterday Hadley said "deam it". and I asked her what she said and sure enough she said "deam it" again. I tried not to freak out because then that would make it even more fun to say. I asked her who says "deam it" and she said Grammy! I think Grammy and I will have to have a talk.


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