Thursday, October 24, 2013

To sleep or not to sleep... NOT sleep.


Our sleeping arrangements.

I feel like every now and then I have to update this space on sleep. Really? To just write it out and make sense of it all. For my own sake.

I know I have talked about in the past. Multiple times. Good sleep, bad sleep, lots of sleep, no sleep. How we could not co-sleep with E because she had no interest in it at the beginning. Until she turned 21 months old and decided to climb out of the crib. Then we co-slept until her big girl bed came in. Only to completely mess up our whole sleep routine {we had a great one} and faced with the issue of having to lay down with her every night. Except, not so much an issue because we loved that she now showed an interest in sleeping with us. Well, then the baby was born and although we tried to push the whole "big girl" on our baby, she was definitely having none of that. And still isn't. Graham joined the co-sleeping family and the four of us found ourselves every night in our little old queen bed. Although sometimes rough, it was always so wonderful to wake up with both our babies by our side. And Graham? Graham was a cuddling little monster. That is until now.

Oh, now? Let us talk about the now.

Elliana still co-sleeps with us. She goes down every night, we lay with her until she falls asleep, and then we sneak out for a bit to do our own personal stuff, only to come back later to join her. Naps? The same thing pretty much. We used to just lay down with her in her room, but ours has the blackout curtains, and she seems to be able to fall asleep quicker in our room versus hers. And quick is kind of important around these parts. But by quick, I mean anywhere from 15-40 minutse. So... not so quick.

Little man? Little man was a co-sleeping machine up until he turned 6 months old. Then he tossed, and turned, and woke up about every hour throughout the night. That's when we made the transition to crib, and that's when he blossomed. Only woke up once or twice {rarely twice} and sometimes even slept through the night. If he woke up for a feeding, I would normally nurse him and then try to get him to go back to sleep with us... but... again, he was having none of it. As soon as I would lay him down in his crib, he would be out. And sleep in until 8-9.

Naps? Same thing. He tossed and turned when in bed with us, but slept perfectly fine in the crib. So although I would love for the little guy to be close by my side, I have come to terms that he much prefers his own space. And that's okay... because we all know that things may easily change when the climbing out of the crib all begins.

I guess what this boils down to is us just doing what we feel is best for our babies' needs. I guess that is what parenting entails anyway. Adjustments, compromise, and accomodating to what works best at this present moment of time.

Who knows, next week E may decide she wants nothing to do with us and sleep in her own bed. And G? Maybe he'll all of a sudden have a change of mind and want to be close to mama and papa.

But my guess? My guess is that in a matter of time they will just want to sleep together. The two of them.
It's a good thing we got a trundle bed.

And my hopes? My hope is that the little guy will eventually join us in the big family bed and they two never want to stop snuggling up next to mama and papa. Honestly, I would not object to that.

20 comments:

  1. I secretly love when Breanna wakes in the middle of the night and comes to sleep w. us!!!

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  2. I loooove cosleeping and am looking forward to expanding the family bed when #2 arrives. :)

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  3. My son has never slept in his own room. Since birth, his crib has been in our room. I was big on not co-sleeping. I got up and nursed him sitting up, and always put him back in his crib. However, he was always a horrible sleeper. I finally got fed up around 8 months and started letting him sleep with us. After 15-months, he finally started to sleep through the night, BUT with us. My husband loves it. I, on the other hand, want him to be more independent and want him to have his space and me to have my space. When #2 comes, I don't want to share a bed with 4 people. I just don't. But who knows what will happen. Ideally I would love my son in his own room, but chances of that are slim, so #2 will probably get their own room. I'm all talk. I just hope what I plan happens, but as you know, life never goes according to plans. I do have a question. I know you are very nervous about SIDS and introduced me to the Snuza. I was big on my son not sleeping our bed because of SIDS. So with Graham, what did you do as a newborn? Did you have the same fears? Did he always sleep in your bed? Would love to know what you did.

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    1. E slept in her room until she was 20 months old. After that? We struggled for a long time, and finally she can sleep through the night but only with us. Who knows how long that will last. Right now we only have 3 in our bed, because Graham has no desire to co-sleep {and I am totally okay with that}, but I imagine eventually he may want to... and we are open to the idea of doing what keeps our children comforted most at night. But you know, they both may decide they want nothing to do with us at night... and want to just sleep together. And then I get the bed back with the husband, ha!

      The SIDS thing---> I had the Snuza with Graham from day one {something I didn't have until E was 3.5 months old}, so that definitely eased the comfort. We had strict no pillows, no blankets on him rule, and no one rolls around in their sleep. There were definitely things we had to consider, but in the end it worked for us.

      You'll just do what you feel is best. That's the great part about motherhood. There is no ONE right way.

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  4. My youngest is waking 3-4 times per night, and she's almost 9 months. I'm losing my mind.

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  5. E joins us in the morning...as long as he sleeps I totally love the cuddling. If he is poking me and making demands.....not so much! Ugh. But, my theory is...we will do whatever we need to get the sleep we all desperately need.

    Who am I?!? This is so not first time mom Laura speaking. Boy, how things change!

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    1. Haha! You took the words right out of my mouth. First time mom Becky? First time mom Becky just could never imagine such a thing...

      Amazing how motherhood works :)

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  6. My daughter slept with us on and off for awhile, then didn't, and now she does! She goes to sleep in her own bed but wakes up after a couple hours and joins us for the rest of the night.

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  7. I admire people who co-sleep but I just cannot- I would never sleep because I would be afraid I would smother baby, or that baby would somehow fall out of bed. As it is, I wake up 2-3 times a week searching the bed for my 11mo old son who has never slept in our bed!! Ack!!

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    1. It's definitely not for everyone, and there are definitely many factors to consider prior to deciding to co-sleep. One day they will be out of our bed.... just not today :)

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  8. it blows my mind that people actually WANT to co-sleep! honestly i just don't see how that's a valid choice (i always thought it was something people did out of sheer exhausted desperation). all the more power to you if it makes you super happy to have them close, but i'm the exact opposite. i love that my son sleeps in his crib happily through the night. at 14 months, bedtime routine takes as long as it takes to drink a bottle, and that's that. i don't want to drag it out. we read and snuggle and play leading up to bed time, but when it's 7:01, we have a bottle and a rock in the chair (used to be a nurse on the bed), and see you in the morning kid (actually see you on the monitor, and also when i sneak in to rub your head at 10pm cuz i miss you).

    i like to have a good sleep, and i never could with a little one in the bed (or a third person at all in a queen bed, let alone a fourth). sometimes when my son won't nap, people suggest laying in bed with him. i feel like if i brought him to my room and laid with him he would be like, "hey mom what's up? play time?" and start to jump. he just doesn't know what it's all about to be in my bed; everyone in the family should have their own, no?

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    1. Kristy,

      All I read from that above is.... "Let me start out by putting down what YOU do for your family {because I clearly know what is right for every family}, and then go on to tell you what I do and how it's the only RIGHT way out there. Because obviously I'm the only mom out there doing it the right way. And let me end it by giving you my expert advice on a subject that I have shown I know not a thing about. But I'll give it to you anyway."

      And because of that, I just can't take your comment seriously.

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    2. you read it wrong. i'm being dead serious when i say i can't believe people co-sleep as a choice (honestly before i read all the books and blogs about sleep training and whatever, i thought it was something people did because they had no other choice because their kid couldn't sleep alone)

      if you love it, that's perfect! i just can't fathom it. and i'm not trying to give advice at all. i didn't give any advice, i just said i could never do it!

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  9. Ohhhhhh girl! This sounds exactly like what we went through, it's literally insane how many different sleeping arrangements we been through as the four of us. My girls are a little older now and they do sleep together and it's the sweetest thing!

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  10. . My daughter coslept with us till 6 months then got to wiggly so she went to her crib. Around 18 months she started coming into our bed in the middle of the night. I was about 4 months pregnant at the time. So she just started sleeping all night in our bed. Along came baby brother and she kept almost rolling on him in the night so she got moved to a toddler bed and the foot of our bed. After a month of that we moved her to her room and she's been pretty good since then. We moved my son at 6 months to his crib and he loves it. Now when they are sick and sleep with us I get the worst sleep ever. I need my space now. It's funny because I used to love cuddling them all night and missed them going in their own beds. My only problem with co sleeping to long is I had major sleep issues as a kid and it trailed into my teenage years. I could not fall asleep in a room alone until I was 16. I always had someone in my room or in my bed with me. (My sister & I shared a room & sometimes slept together) I'm so scared this will happen to my kids so I always knew I wouldn't cosleep past 3 ish. I'm probably just paranoid and it was a weird case for me as a child. I think as long as everyone is getting good sleep and is happy more power to you!

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    1. Sorry dor the typos. Replying on my phone is hard! lol

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    2. I can definitely see why one would worry with what you have been through. I've always heard that 3-4 age is when the kids start pushing the parents away and will just periodically sneak in in the middle of the night or morning. I will be totally okay with that too. Whatever makes my babies {and husband} happy :)

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  11. We don't co-sleep but my two youngest (3 and 18 mo) are couch sleepers. Which I'm not thrilled with but they are sleeping. I'm due Dec 10 with the next one and currently sleeping in the other couch (just more comfortable for me) it'll be interesting to see how this will go when the baby is here lol

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  12. I'm honestly extremely encouraged to read this and so many others that they still co-sleep with their toddlers. My son just turned 2 and most nights he wakes up in the middle of the night and won't go back to sleep unless it's in my bed. I've been so convinced I'm the only person who has a toddler that won't sleep by himself! (probably because literally every single one of my friends are 100% opposed to co-sleeping...guess you can be opposed to it when you've never had a child with sleeping issues) Yeah, my sleep ends up being not so great when he comes to bed with us, but it's better than not sleeping at all :) I know it won't be this way forever, and I know he's going to grow up one day and not need me so much. Anyways, thanks for updating your readers on sleep habits in your home - some of us need to know were not alone!

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