Going from scary to exciting. The different from one to two and two to three.

Andrew and I have talked more about baby number 3 in the past couple weeks than I care to admit. In fact, we have talked so much about it that one would even think that we were either 1) Pregnant or 2) Trying. 

 

I assure you, we are neither.

But we have had the conversation, and we continue to have the conversation, and instead of the conversation focusing on are we ready {although that question comes up as well} or timing, we simply just talk about how amazing, different, and just overall exciting it will be to have the opportunity to love again.

 

Love more.

 

Naturally, this conversation and these thoughts are always triggered when watching E and G running around together, tickling one another, and embracing in hugs and big wet sloppy {sometimes turned into hard} kisses. They love each other—there's no hiding that. But they have this incredible bond that I guess I had not imagined they would ever have when we first became a family of four. Simply put– I had no idea.

It's interesting to me, you know—how different one thinks when your life changes drastically. And going from one to two kids? That is one big drastic change.

 

I remember before we even thought of the idea of Graham we would talk about how it was hard to imagine another child coming into our lives. I remember when the idea of Graham was there and we would talk about the fear of messing up a good thing. I remember when we found out about Graham and I would worry about loving another child. And then Graham came, and we were forced into this new world, and even though there were {many} times that we weren't sure we were ready for all this, we went into it wholeheartedly and we fell in love all over again. But more, and in ways we had never envisioned before.

 

Messing up a good thing? We had no idea just how good it could get. Loving another child? We were surprised to learn that our love only grew in abundance--for both children. So this weird yet very normal fear that most first time parents have? Was completely unnecessary. Because now? Now I knew a world I never want to forget. 

 

So now. So now when that topic of having another child comes up again–we think and talk differently about it. We smile more. We worry less. We get excited about watching our family grow and having another little person to embrace, to teach, to love, and to nurture through this roller coaster called life. But what's even better is that Graham and Elli get to love more as well.

 

Instead of worrying about how we will adjust or how we will do with one less pair of hands and eyes or how the kids will adapt and love another child, I already know the answer to all those questions and it is as easy as this: they just will, and we just will, and it just will. 

 

It will work.

 

Even when you have hurdles. Even when babies sleep different, eat different, act different–you somehow just make it work. I know that G and E were similar in a lot of ways, but at the same time, they were complete opposite. I had to learn how to parent again, how to change my ways, and how to do things that worked specifically for that child. There is no way to produce two children that are exactly alike just as there is no way to predict how your life will be or how you will do in future situations. It's one of those things where I just have to trust in God and let go of any and all fears that I could have in relation to our future children.

 

And we have. And it's a great feeling.

 

Because to be honest going from one to two was a scary thought.

But going from two to three?

 

It is an exciting adventure that we cannot wait {but can for a little while longer} to start.