Pregnancy details, part 1; Deciding the right time.

Andrew and I have had this topic on our minds since the day I gave birth to baby Elliana. Although we never really sat down and talked about it in depth, we did mutually agree that "winter 2011" sounded like the ideal time to start trying.

Lets see how that timeline went.....

Fall 2011 came and went, and in the back of my head I hadn't really prepared myself for "trying" to have a baby. I just figured that I would be ready in a couple of months and that would be that.

And then winter came. Thanksgiving. Christmas. I said I was ready. We were ready. But it wasn't the truth. I just didn't think it was right... not just yet.

I wanted a few more months.

A few more months of no sickness. A few more months being a mama of just 1.
A few more months of just Elli and Me.

January came. I sat online and was browsing Amazon to buy Elliana a couple of things when at the bottom I noticed that a suggested item for me was "OPK and EPT tests."

Why, alrighty then, lets have a click here.

Click.

They were pink and blue strips. There were a lot of them. Lets say around the lines of 50. I think 40 Ovulation strips and 10 pink pregnancy strips.  But wait, amazon also suggested I purchase 10 EPT tests fo 10 dollars as well. Alrighty, why not. Add. To. My. Shopping. Cart. Please.

When they came, I stashed them away underneath the bathroom sink downstairs.

February. I'm ready. We're ready. Lets talk about it. We talked about. We said yes. Lets do it. However, we had a trip coming up in April. Our Chicago trip. So? We shall "wait."

March. I take my daily vitamins every day {okay, lies. As often as I could}. And I start testing out the blue strips. The ovulation test strips. The are we ready to do the dirty business strips.

Problem is I'm not diligent enough to do something at the same time every day. Just not. So it doesn't happen every day, and I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be taking my temperature and all that other hoo-ha business?

But, I tell myself we aren't trying. We are just "not preventing" at this point. After all... we are going to wait until April right? But if it happened... it happened.

If that was the case, then why, on March 25th was I so completely devastated to have a visit from my "friend".

So thats that. Not pregnant. And I'm hurt. Sad actually. I knew the reality was that it just doesn't happen on the first month. And thats okay. And we JUST started throwing all preventative methods out the window.

Get yourself together Becky.
You said April anyway. Why are you so upset?

Because it is.
Because I am ready.


part II coming up....