Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Why Now is the Right Time... For Baby #2

Shortly after giving birth to your first child, you can almost garuantee that people will soon be asking you... "when's the next one."

And the, "time to have another one!"

And my all-time favorite... "now you need a boy!"

Variations of these sort of statements surely will come out of the mouths of your family, friends, co-workers, and even complete strangers. Oh for the love of strangers

Although they have never once bothered me, because I have to imagine I've probably asked the same question to a mother or two, they did however make me think about when exactly is the right time?

What does the right time even mean?

You see, just hours after delivering Elliana into this world, I looked over to my husband with the biggest smile on my face and said... "I'm ready to do this again." Whether it was shock that I had just went through a 3.5 hour labor, or the fact that I had already forgotten all about the morning sickness and pain of contractions, whatever it was, in that moment... I felt ready.

Of course it was not realistic, and definitely not a possibility, but it did make us think about it and come with the conclusion that we wanted to wait until winter time.

And as Elliana turned one and we neared the "date to prepare" I soon realized that it just wasn't time. Again, I didn't know when the time would be right, but then? The now? Was not it.

But months later, I got to thinking. Will I ever be ready?

And that is how my thought process went. I felt that I had reached a point in Elliana's life, our lives, that  I felt comfortable. I loved this stage. I loved every stage. With every month that went by, I completely soaked it all in and all of its bliss. I felt complete.

So then I would ask myself... what is missing? I felt complete, remember? And the truth of the matter.. I did. I do.

The love that I have for this child of mine... the love that she gives me and fills my heart with... it's more than enough. I felt as though my heart couldn't hold any more love. I didn't want to hold any more love. Unless it was from Elliana.

But Becky.... really? Do you hear what you are saying here?

Coming from the person that wants 3-4 kids... you are sitting here saying you are complete? What has gotten into you.

And thats when it hit me. I wasn't allowing myself to be ready. I was so caught up into being Elliana's mama, that I couldn't even imagine being someone else's mama as well.

Elliana was now 16 months old. It takes 9-10 months to grow a baby. I always wanted our first two kids to be close in age... 26 months seems pretty close in age. So, I ask you again... is this the right time?

And the answer was yes.

Because to be completely honest... I don't think any time is the "perfect" time. I don't think that my life or heart will ever agree that its ready, when in reality, it's not.

Not because I didn't want to embrace another child. Not because I didn't think I could love a second child just as much as Elliana. And certainly not because I didn't think we could do it, as parents.

Not because.


Because no one can prepare you for a first child, second, third, or fourth.

What I do know?

Is that we will be ready when that time comes. We are ready now. We are overjoyed, happy, excited, and full of anticipation for this bundle of joy to come. We will make it work. We will show this child a life full of love and happiness. And the blessing of a sibling.

Is there ever the perfect time?

I don't have the answer to that. But is now perfect?

It's as perfect as it'll ever get.


  1. Aw Becky - BEAUTIFUL! So excited for you guys, and for that precious little girl to get a sibling. Cheers, sweetie!

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  3. ahh, didn't mean to delete that first comment. but, yes ma'am! Love those "time for number two!" comments, we keep getting those too now that Sawyer is almost 17 months old, but like you said nobody else knows when you're ready, only you get to "decide".

  4. Yes I often wonder that about when I'll have my first. And you at totally right. There will never be a perfect time.

  5. I did a post similar to this just before falling pregnant with number two. Mine will be 22 months apart, its hard being pregnant with a toddler but so exciting too! Good luck! x

  6. I know your feelings. I dont think I will ever be fully ready for #2 and think my C is just right for our family. But having a #2 will be so amazing. So happy for you guys and cant wait to follow the journey with you.

  7. Oh I just love this post! As B and I discuss having another baby we find that our hearts are ready but our finances are not. I'm with you, 26 months is a perfect age difference. My brothers and I are 25 and I think it's a great seperation. Unfortunately, it'd be irresponsible of us to try yet, financially. But when the day comes those bank accounts line up I am so ready to open my heart to another child.

    So happy for you and Andrew that now is that time for your family!

  8. What a great post! Yes, I think many people wonder about this. My daughter is 6 months and I've been ready for a while now. My husband just graduated with his Ph.D. and is having difficulty finding a job, so we have an obvious reason to wait. Once he gets a job, we might not necessarily "try" right away, but we won't try to avoid pregnancy anymore. Congratulations as you prepare to grow your family!

  9. I love that you said there will never be a perfect time! I said those same words when we decided to "try" for Kendall. People were all, but what about finances and jobs and houses and I used to say if you worry about crossing one more bill off your list or until you have a bigger car or whatever the case may be, you'll never have a baby b/c there will always be SOMEthing. So yeah, I get it.

  10. we struggled with when to have baby #2 too and decided to just let it happen when it happened.

    Oh and if I get one more "hope its a boy" comment I am going to scream. Especially after the drama at my nephews birth w my inlaws. ugh.

  11. Since this pregnancy has been easy [knockonwood!] I feel the same way you did after birth -- like let's do this again! Oy. I know realistically that's probably not possible but I really like the age difference you have going on between the two. Thanks for sharing!

  12. Aww, this is exciting. I love your writing style. Good luck ttc! :)

  13. no one is ever "ready" for another baby until he/she makes their appearance. i bawled my eyes out the night before i was enduced with kenley because i didn't know how i could ever love a child as much as brady. it happens! i promise. and you ARE ready :) xo

  14. Aw, beautiful! I wish we were going to have another soon...Linc's getting older and older and I didn't want him to old to be close to his sibling :-( Congrats!!!!!!!!!!

  15. Wow this is beautiful!! Matthew and I jut got married and we were starting to think about when the "perfect time" is, and after reading this I feel like you gave so much insight into being a mother and when the time is right!!! thank you!


  16. It's hard to plan the perfect time...there will always be something that seems to make it not the perfect time. Ours are 14 months apart (not exactly planned). It was difficult at times for the first couple years (for example, our first wasn't even walking yet when the second was born (she walked at 17 months) and I had hoped for a VBAC, but it didn't happen...so that was rough only being able to hold my son, and not my daughter for 8 weeks...anyways...). But now...my daughter turned 5 in May, my son will be 4 in July - and it is SOO amazing! They are friends (but still have their 'moments') and it has gotten so much easier (and fun!). Most people thought we were crazy for having them so close, but I have no complaints :-)

    26 months sounds like it'll be a great age difference! E will be such a great helper with her new sibling, yet they will be close enough in age that they will be friends and may have common interests down the line.

    Enjoy your pregnancy; look forward to following along!

  17. I always say you will never regret having a child but you might regret NOT having one.
    Dylan and Lexie are 27 months apart to the day, and it is a great age difference!
    By the way, no matter how many kids you have, you still get asked when you're having the next!

  18. Just rediscovered your awesome blog today. Looks like our little one(s) are just about the same age. Definitely can relate to your when is the right time post, though I think our time may be a little further down the road, yet, if we are to have another child. I've recently moved from my infertility blog to a new toddler blog site at www.fullhandsfullheartblog.blogspot.com. Best wishes to you with #2! :)


  19. SO SO excited for you guys!! We constantly get asked when baby #2 is coming too! I try not to get annoyed but I'm sure I have asked people too! I'm sure You will get asked about #3 before this baby is even born! haha

  20. Beautiful post!! Very excited for you and your growing family! :)

  21. GREAT post!!! For me going from 1 to 2, was an easy decision. I knew I wanted more than 1 and a few years apart so we just went for it. Though I agree with other posters, it was SO emotional the night before I had my 2nd. I was a bawling nervous wreck because I felt like my 1st was going to be jealous and we werent going to be able to spend as much time together! But I got over it quickly and realized that wasn't the case. Now going from 2 to 3? Thats been a WHOLE nother ball game! (technically 4 because I have a step-son) We have been going back and forth for 8 months now if we want another. I keep thinking about the finance issues and if we can handle it...then I think the same as you, that we are never going to REALLY be ready. There will always be some bill or something in the way so we might as well just do it. Ahh! My youngest will be 3 next month so we need to decide soon! Cant wait to see all the belly pics! :)

  22. This is so true! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  23. I love this post, it is so true! My best friend is trying to figure out when the best time for her to have another baby is.. and I think it really all depends. I am definitely going to have to send her a link to this post!

  24. I love this post! I don't feel like there will ever be a "perfect" time for a baby. We're in talks right now with planning for #1 (I'm rooting for sooner than later haha) but there's so many factors! You really do have great insight on being a mom and I feel like I have already learned so much from you and your relationship with Elliana.

  25. I totally get this! It's like I don't think I can possibly love another one as much as I love Thatcher, but yet I want them close so that they get to experience that (which I didn't have growing up). I still worry about whether I have room for this new little person, though I know the second he/she is placed in my arms I will feel CRAZY for ever having thought that. There is no perfect time, and our hearts are big enough for as many children as God gives us.

  26. Before I had kids, a friend who has one told us that you'll never feel ready. You'll always want more money, more education, a bigger house or something else but luckily God has a bigger plan for all of us and it ends up being time when it is. And even if it doesn't feel like the right time, it doesn't keep us from being overjoyed when we get pregnant. Congrats again, you're going to be an amazing mom to two. Do you find yourself more nervous? Last weekend, someone who is pregnant with #2 said she's much more scared this time around.

  27. Aww I love this! I feel the exact same way!! When my son was born we had such a wonderful labor, I loved being pregnant and he was a dream baby! Both my husband and I were ready for another immediately! But now he's 9 months old & he's becoming SO MUCH FUN. We can finally play with him and it's so fun to watch him learn new things... I can't imagine spending this time tired, pregnant and preparing for a new baby. I am loving soaking him up and we are just going to see when the time feels right! We originally planned to start trying around now, but that def isn't happening... who knows. I also wanted 3-4 kids close in age, but the realization hit me, the difference between 2 years & 2 1/2-3 years is not that great for them, but for these tiny fun moments it's so big!


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