And the, "time to have another one!"
And my all-time favorite... "now you need a boy!"
Variations of these sort of statements surely will come out of the mouths of your family, friends, co-workers, and even complete strangers. Oh for the love of strangers.
Although they have never once bothered me, because I have to imagine I've probably asked the same question to a mother or two, they did however make me think about when exactly is the right time?
What does the right time even mean?
You see, just hours after delivering Elliana into this world, I looked over to my husband with the biggest smile on my face and said... "I'm ready to do this again." Whether it was shock that I had just went through a 3.5 hour labor, or the fact that I had already forgotten all about the morning sickness and pain of contractions, whatever it was, in that moment... I felt ready.
Of course it was not realistic, and definitely not a possibility, but it did make us think about it and come with the conclusion that we wanted to wait until winter time.
And as Elliana turned one and we neared the "date to prepare" I soon realized that it just wasn't time. Again, I didn't know when the time would be right, but then? The now? Was not it.
But months later, I got to thinking. Will I ever be ready?
And that is how my thought process went. I felt that I had reached a point in Elliana's life, our lives, that I felt comfortable. I loved this stage. I loved every stage. With every month that went by, I completely soaked it all in and all of its bliss. I felt complete.
So then I would ask myself... what is missing? I felt complete, remember? And the truth of the matter.. I did. I do.
The love that I have for this child of mine... the love that she gives me and fills my heart with... it's more than enough. I felt as though my heart couldn't hold any more love. I didn't want to hold any more love. Unless it was from Elliana.
But Becky.... really? Do you hear what you are saying here?
Coming from the person that wants 3-4 kids... you are sitting here saying you are complete? What has gotten into you.
And thats when it hit me. I wasn't allowing myself to be ready. I was so caught up into being Elliana's mama, that I couldn't even imagine being someone else's mama as well.
Elliana was now 16 months old. It takes 9-10 months to grow a baby. I always wanted our first two kids to be close in age... 26 months seems pretty close in age. So, I ask you again... is this the right time?
And the answer was yes.
Because to be completely honest... I don't think any time is the "perfect" time. I don't think that my life or heart will ever agree that its ready, when in reality, it's not.
Not because I didn't want to embrace another child. Not because I didn't think I could love a second child just as much as Elliana. And certainly not because I didn't think we could do it, as parents.
Because no one can prepare you for a first child, second, third, or fourth.
What I do know?
Is that we will be ready when that time comes. We are ready now. We are overjoyed, happy, excited, and full of anticipation for this bundle of joy to come. We will make it work. We will show this child a life full of love and happiness. And the blessing of a sibling.
Is there ever the perfect time?
I don't have the answer to that. But is now perfect?
It's as perfect as it'll ever get.