Pregnant [number two] Woman Problems

I was at work the other night, and as my shift was getting ready to end and I am sitting at the computer patiently waiting for the clock to turn to 7, I start getting a lump in my throat. And then the hand goes over the mouth. And then I say... "Oh my, I think I'm going to throw up."
Next thing I know, I'm in the restroom, vomiting, and I'm pretty sure I peed my pants at the same time.
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I can't tell you how many times this pregnancy I have stepped on blocks. Or puzzle pieces. Or toys that all have sharp edges, and make me want to say "Jimmity Cricket" except the other words we are no longer allowed to say in the house... all while the toddler snickers at me.
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Wich brings me to my next topic of discussion. Chasing balls down the driveaway. You see, my sweet precious princess thinks that it is quite entertaining to watch mama chase balls down the driveaway that she conveniently throws. Intentionally. And once? This ball chasing caused me to make a big plummet backwards onto the ground.
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Speaking of ground, I must have recently lost my balance because I will randomly get all sorts discombobulated and fall. Like the other day when carrying the toddler back to the house {from our little play date down the street} and all of a sudden one of my legs decided to go the opposite direction of the other, and down I went. Skinned knees and all.
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The heartburn is so over the top this time around, that I promise you, at times, I feel like I am going to turn into a dragon and shoot fire. No exaggeration there.
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The stabs in the... you know area. What is all that about. Not jabs. STABS. Like with a knife. Twisting and turning. That's what it feels like anyway.
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So what have I learned this time around? That being pregnant the second time around is quite different from the first.

No more laying around during the day watching reruns of the baby story with a drink and a snack in hand. Dozing off for naps. Surfing the net. And most of all? Propping my legs up.

No feeling"cute" and energetic as I did the first time.
No more quiet. No more

But? I'm just as grateful, blessed, and excited for this bundle of joy as the first and the next. 
Next?! Yes. I just went there. A post for the future.

Dear Elliana, a big sister letter.

Dear Elliana,

Here we are, my sweet daughter. At the point where I am forced to sit down and finally write this letter to you. A letter that almost slipped my mind until I looked at the calendar the other day and realized... we are full term and could have this baby, your baby brother, at any point now. It's all happening so fast. So real. And I can't pretend any more that our lives are not about to change. For the better.

At this point in my pregnancy, I can't help but think back at what it was like just a little over 2 years ago with you. All the emotions. The nerves. The excitement. I was ready to welcome you into this world, to meet you, to snuggle you up and love on you. To see your features, compare you to your mama and papa, to kiss you, teach you, watch you grow.

I sit back now and think about the feelings that are rushing over me with this pregnancy. They're similar, very much so. The nerves, the excitment, the anticipation. That's all there. But there's also another component that is quite different from the first time around. That being the fear that I feel.

The fear of not knowing what's to come. The fear of not knowing how it will change your life. The fear of not knowing if you will fully comprehend the joy and blessing and the reason behind why we chose to bring another little family member into our family. But most of all, the fear of something happening to me.

I can't help but have that little anxiety now that we are almost at the point. The anxiety that is eating away at me thinking about the "what if. "

I would never want you to go through life thinking that your mama ever thought that you weren't enough. That something was missing that you weren't giving us. That our life wasn't full of love and happiness with you in our lives. Because believe me my sweet baby girl, your life is more than anything we could have ever dreamed of.

I would hope you know that your mama did all this for you. I know how important it is to have a sibling. To have someone so utterly similar to you, and to share such a unique bond with. To grow up together. Share memories between the two of you. Watch the world change. Together.

I know that you are still too young to completely understand what all this means. But I know that one day, when you are older, you will get it.

I hope you know that bringing your brother into this world does not mean that we will love you less. You will always, and forever, be our first born, our love, our happiness, our everything. You have made us into parents. A gift that nothing could ever compare to.

And if something were to ever happen to me, I hope you know that your mama loved you more than life itself. That I will always be present and nearby, even if I can't physically be there. That I trust in you, believe in your strength, and know that you will be something absolutely, utterly, beautiful and amazing in life. To watch over your papa and your brother. To keep them in line. Don't be afraid to let that sass shine through {your papa is used to that you know}, to stand your ground, and to remind them of the beautiful things in life.

I won't even sit here and go into your role as the big sister. What I expect. What I hope for you. Why? Because I just know in my heart that you are going to be the most loving, kind, gentle, loving sister to your brother. You're that way already. You have such a warm heart and you amaze me day in and day out with the amount of love that you share wtih us all. I know the same will be felt by your baby brother. So I thank you now, before he is even here, for being who you are.

I know that everything will be okay. I trust in that. I know that our family will be together, and pretty soon we will be bringing your little brother home.I can't wait for that Elliana. I can't wait for the new life that is about to begin for us all.

So again, I thank you. For your smiles. Your joy. The happiness you bring into our lives. And soon your brother's life. You are truly the most amazing little girl, and we are so thankful and proud to be called your parents.

We love you, more and more with each passing day, forever and ever, to infinity and beyond.

Love,
Mama and your Papa. And baby Graham And Carson too :)

Bump Attack; 37 weeks

I am still here guys! Obviously if you follow me on twitter, instagram, or facebook you know this already. Speaking of being up to date, if you would like to know firsthand when the "big moment" happens be sure to follow me here on twitter, facebook, and instagram {@frommrstomama}.

Okay okay. Lets talk about this week. What happened. What didn't happen. What is happening.

First and foremost, I had my doctor's appointment on Monday. Details? I am 4.5 centimeters {I know I know, how is this even possible}, 75% effaced, and head is engaged and water bulging {as we already knew}. Mucus plug gone {TMI, I know}. Does this mean anything? Again, no in the case of when he will arrive. It just means my body sure is preparing. It's a waiting game at this point. The baby could come Tomorrow. Or the next day. Or not for another 2 weeks.

Well, we know it won't be another 2 weeks. I will be able to go to the hospital at 39 weeks {in a week and a half} at the latest. So? 10 days until we meet baby at the most! 10 days!

Moving along. I have always predicted that he would be here around 38 weeks. Which is right at Christmas. However, I am thinking {hoping} we will be able to celebrate the holidays and meet baby boy after wards? Even if it were the next day? What do you say Graham.

Another prediction? Baby boy will arrive on his papa's birthday. Which is? Sunday the 23rd. You see, the hubby is very adamant about that being the one day the baby doesn't arrive. Why? Because he already has to share his birthday with the CHRISTmas, and now to add his son on the list? Poor guys birthday will completely be forgotten then. I assured him this wasn't the case though.



So enough prediction talk {I'm just going to jinx myself} how was this week?

Terrible. Ha. No seriously. The amount of contractions that I have had since Monday alone {after my appointment} is just ridiculous. And intense. But of course nothing regular. I don't even count then, time them, or anything. Which I probably should because things could go pretty fast once the big L starts. Real fast.

We haven't talked about this on the blog... but what if. What if I had the baby at home. Or in the car.

I would totally be the girl yelling at my husband while he is driving {insanely fast}... "AAANNDREWWW #@%$% he's coming he's coming!"..... all while trying to hold his head in.

Picture THAT.

Happy 37 {and a half} weeks baby Graham.

35 weeks. THIRTY-FIVE. Bump Attack.

35 weeks! I feel good about reaching this number. Not 37 by any means, but still sounds better than 34. Hard to explain. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it sounds like a "safer" zone. Definitely not ready for baby boy to come out, but I wouldn't be as nervous if my water were to break today. But lets just make it to at least the 37 mark baby boy, okay?

Which? Will be in a week and a half. And next week I will be 9 months. And if I keep talking about it, then it may mean that I have a baby THIS MONTH.

Maybe. Hopefully. I can't wait to meet him. I can't wait to meet you baby Graham.

About this week. Not much has changed. Still lots of pains down yonder, still lots of pain to even walk, still lots of uncomfortable feeling in general.

The peeing {TMI, I know}, has gotten out of control. The other day at work I literally was in the bathroom every hour on the hour. And it's that pain in your bladder that you feel when you have gone 12 hours without going. Each and every time.

When we were at toddler time this week, a fellow mom sitting next to me said... "You are the cutest pregnant girl I've seen. I didn't even notice you were pregnant and I was walking right behind you!" That made my day. Because I sure don't feel cute.

Heartburn is at its all time high. Terrible. Horrific. The worst it has ever been.
Contractions. I'm not sure what these blunt-out-of-nowhere-pains are... but for now... we will call them contractions.

Weight gain? I swear at home I never seem to gain weight, how convenient right, but as soon as I get to my appointment somehow I am up 5 pounds. Total though? I think I'm up 25 pounds or something? Way better than the 45/50 I gained last time.

And I'm going to sit here and flaunt my excitement over the fact that I am still able to wear my black skinnies that are non-maternity. Granted, they stretch. But still. My doctor even took note of that on the last appointment.

And that belly button? I can't imagine it being able to go out any further. It's about to pop off and eat somebody any day. That large.

Appointment on Monday. And guess what? It's weekly from here on out. Now... to convincing my doc to check me.

34 week Bump Attack

I have hit that point. The point that I never hit when I was pregnant with Elliana. The point where I am actually THAT complaining, whining, uncomforable pregnant lady.

I don't know what it is about this pregnancy, but it is so different from my last. Perhaps it is the fact that he has always hung out low {and lately lower than usual}, or maybe the fact that it is my second pregnancy in general, but regardless... I feel every part of being pregnant.

I get these sharp pains [down yonder}, especially when I walk, and I swear that the baby has a knife in there and is just jabbing my insides... down there. Emphasis on down there.

Pleasant, right?

Speaking of walk. I can't. I literally hurt when I walk, especially when I'm at work. Everyone makes a joke, or two, about my waddle. But if only they knew the pain I was going through. Honestly, with Elliana? I think I had a waddle the last week of pregnancy or so. This time? Since week 20. And it's progressively getting more and more prominent.

The heartburn is at its all time high. And before? Chocolate was the cause. Now? I have long since run out of halloween candy and rarely {never] eat chocolate. Instead, everything causes heartburn. Espcially water or ice chips? What the world.

With Elliana, I had mild heartburn towards the end. But nothing that I would write home about it. And she? Well she was born wtih a good amount of hair on her head. So if this is any indication of the amount of hair my son is going to have, then I will go ahead and say that he will come out with hair down to his ankles.

At least, that's how I feel.

I also get full really fast. Good thing or bad thing? Not sure, because I don't really have much of an appetite. So maybe that will hinder all this weight gain? Maybe.

Doctor's Appointment this week:
Heartbeat great. Measuring right on track. Blood pressure normal. Next time will be my last 2 week visit and we will officially go weekly after that. Total weight gain? 28 pounds. I guess I wasn't kidding when I said Thanksgiving put on 5 pounds.

Elliana went to the appointment again with me this week. I think we have long since given up trying to figure out someone to watch her while I go to these things. And to be honest with you? She does amazing. The two times that she has misbehaved have always been when it's been the three of us that have gone. Not sure why that changes things, but something is different about her. More sass.

So she always sits up with me on the table while the doctor measures and listens to the heartbeat. And she has this sweet innocent smile when she hears the "horse gallops." She loves her baby brother already.

Guys. I'm going to be 9 months in a week and a half. NINE. Nueve. Devet. You get the point. It's flying by.

Is it too early to put predictions in? On the, cough, arrival date. I don't want to jinx myself... but I'm going to say... 38 weeks.

33 Weeks; Happy POST Thanksgiving

Happy Black Friday to all you crazy shoppers out there. I did my shopping but it was all online and will be hand delivered to me by the good old UPS man, or sometimes the fed ex guy as well. But today? The day after Thanksgiving, I am most thankful for this baby boy of mine. The baby boy who is now 33 weeks gestation!!

So lets talk about Graham and this week. I would say that there was no weight gain, but after yesterday... I'm going to bet I gained maybe 5 pounds. Although I didn't even have a second plate.

To be honest with you, I fill up pretty quick these days. I am going to bet it is because of this baby boy who is overpowering the big old belly of mine.

Stretch marks? None. Clothes? Non-Maternity. Belly Button? Out. Heartburn? Very. Movement?Contractions? Lots. Nope. Sleeping? Through the night. Peeing? Too much.

Overall, I have had a really great week.  The only bad night I had was the other night at work which was so busy I wasn't able to sit down, eat, or drink, and finally chugged a glass of water at 630 in the morning. I went home that day and I was pooped out. There was a lot of laying around/napping with Elliana that day. Much needed rest.

What's coming up? Still waiting on lots of accent pieces to come in for the nursery so I can finally call it done and show it off. Christmas Tree is going up today! Doctor's appointment on Monday. My 34 week appointment! Then the next one will be 36 and I will be going weekly! Pinch me.

A couple reminders:
Black Friday Special {50% off advertising}: here.
Women Connect Information: Here
Show & Tell Topic MONDAY :{post about Thanksgiving}
$50.00 Stella & Dot Giveaway: Here

If you are shopping online today, be sure to shop through EBATES. It's free, no gimmicks.. you just get  CASH BACK from your online purchases in the form of a CHECK! Plus get a FREE $10.00 gift card after your first purchase!

32 Weeks and a Guest Post

Dress: Non-Maternity H&M {that I dug out of the closet and didn't realize I HAD!}

Weight gain: Total 23 pounds
Stretch marks: None
Clothes: 95% regular. A couple of maternity tops.
Overall: Feeling good. Like I said from early on this pregnancy, I just "feel" more pregnant this time around. Although, I have to say, there are moments where I "forget" that I am pregnant.

This week we had a doctor's appointment. It was on Monday {Veteran's Day} so Andrew had the day off and was able to accompany me {with the Toddler}. Now. The past few appointments I have had to go without him and take the little munchkin with me. And those past few times have worked out just fine. In fact, they were the longer {one plus hour} appointments, and she behaved like a sweet child of mine. As you all may know, she happened to turn two this past Thursday.... and boy did it show. I can't decide on whether it was because she didn't sleep well the night before, the fact that my husband was with us, or if she just wanted to show the staff what TWO is really all about.... regardless... she was quite orney. And that is how the rest of our day seemed to continue. We have a lot more appointments left... so I hope this was just "one of those days." I hope.

Anyways, back to the appointment. Everything went great. Weight, urine, blood pressure, measurements, and heart beat. My doctor even said "Boy time is flying by it seems with your pregnancy." Yes, yes, it sure it. Don't remind me.

Highlights from this week... I've been peeing a lot more. Lovely, I know. Still not getting up in the middle of the night {which is surprising because I was this time around with Elliana}. But I just happened to notice a few days having to get up a lot more during the day to go use the restroom.

Killer heartburn. I will just leave it at that.

Also to note... I never did get the linea nigra {dark line on my belly} like I did with Elliana. I found that strange that I would get it the first time around and not the second. Goes to show you how different each pregnancy really is.

Many people have also mentioned about the size of my "behind." In other words, the fact that I don't have one and I don't look pregnant at all from the back. I'll take that as a compliment.

Baby boy is still hanging out VERY low. Another thing people take note of. I am honestly the textbook old wives tale "boys hang out low" definition. And he has been that way throughout the whole pregnancy. My question is... how will I possibly notice when he drops?

How Elliana is doing: I think overall she is doing well. She knows that "baby brutha" is in the belly. She kisses the belly and tries to hug the belly. When we ask her what baby brother's name is, she quickly responds "Gaaaam!"

Funny thing to mention here... at her birthday party on Saturday, when we asked her to kiss baby brother {to show our family}, she proceeded to try to lift up my dress in order to do so. That was quite hysterical.

My prediction: That he will be here after Christmas but before the New Year. Is that my prediction or is that what I am {secretly} hoping for? Who knows. Regardless, I don't think I will be going to be my due date.

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I am also Guest Posting over at one of my favorite blogs to date. A mama that I have followed for years. A mama that I {and many other mamas out there} can very much relate to. Today I write about one of the biggest lessons I have learned from my own daughter....

Here is a glimpse....

.....Motherhood has also taught me a lot. In the two years that I have been blessed with this role, I have learned more about life than in my previous 24 years here on Earth. Motherhood has changed me. Molded me. Made me stronger, wiser, and more of a delicate individual. Motherhood has opened my eyes, my heart, and my soul. It's taught me patience and determination. It's tested my limits and questioned my actions. It's shown me beauty in the little moments in life........

Read the rest here

31 week bump attack and more

Life has been super busy this week with Elliana's big birthday {yesterday} and her party coming up {tomorrow}. I squeezed in all my nights of work sunday, monday, tuesday {remind me to never do three in a row ever again} and have been busy spoiling my sweet princess on her special day.

Today calls for us {and my sister} to be running around town picking up more party supplies, food, and then getting the house in order. Have I ever mentioned how there are not enough hours in the day? Good. Because then you wouldn't be surprised when I said...

There. Are. Not. Enough. Hours. In. The. Day.

That being said, I will formally apologize here to all the people I have not emailed back this week. And won't be emailing back until at least Sunday {after the party is all done}. So. I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry because life is a pretty important right around these parts.

Anyways, I am totally rambling here and I should be talking about my pregnancy since this is what it''s all about.

Many of you may have already seen that picture on instagram yesterday, and guess what...you get to see it again! Oops.

That would be a 31 week bump. Not much to report here. I think I may have gained a pound {surprised it's not more}. I have another doctor appointment on Monday {these are just flying by} and I will officially be 8 months here in a few short days. Who else has their chin down to the ground? Hello fast second pregnancy.

The only thing I really want to mention about this week is the number of people {at work} who have said to me..."Oh my, I didn't even know you were pregnant! How far along are you?"

Um. SAY WHAT. Did you think that I've been stuffing a watermelon under my shirt this whole time because it's halloween all year round?

Okay, then. I'll take it as a compliment. Really. It is pretty flattering of people to say that I don't look very pregnant.

No worries though, as soon as my sister came over last night the first thing that came out of her mouth was...

"That is one big belly!"

I tell you what. Family knows best.

Happy Friday friends!

30 week Bump Attack

Week: 30
Weight gain: 20lbs {no change from last appointment}
Stretch marks: No
Belly button: Out like a big fat turkey
Clothes: Non-maternity, although I have a couple maternity shirts that I love to wear. And leggings. And jeans still fit me {some}.
Baby boy's weight at ultrasound: 3 pounds 5 ounces
Measuring: 1 week ahead
Heartbeat: 148

We are here folks. Week 30. The big countdown begins. I'm not going to say "I can't believe it," but seriously... I can't believe it. Overall, I feel great. I don't have many complaints. Life is keeping me busy. ELLIANA is keeping me busy. And we are doing last minute prepartions for this baby boy. Probably not even quick enough.

I am happy to report that the nursery is finally painted. The furniture is arranged. The rug is in. The bedding and mobile are on the bed. All is left is hanging the curtains up {which matches the bedding}, and decorations. And then of course the big reveal.

Chocolate is giving me heartburn these days. You would think that that would cause me to stay away from it.... but no, very much the complete opposite. It's because of halloween. The holidays. The cold weather. Oh, and the fact that I'm pregnant. About that.

We also had our appointment on Monday. I was thinking about devoting a whole post to this, but I am going to go ahead and just write it here because I already have 3 weeks of posts lined up, and many of them being pushed back, and seeing as how these weekly updates are all about baby boy... this is definitely fitting. I think.

So.Appointment monday. Andrew couldn't come because of work. Which, although he was pretty bummed about this,I knew it would be okay. Thankfully I had my little partner in crime with me as my little support system. And by little, I mean huge support system. My best friend. Who would I rather have accompany me in place of her? No one.

When we arrived to my appointment we were sent to the area "upstairs," I say this in quotes because the area "upstairs" if very unknown to me. I didn't even know anything about it. That it existed. Nor what it was for. In fact, it really didn't dawn on me that it was the "high risk" area until 5 minutes into sitting at the waiting room and I see a woman walk out crying hysterically with her husband by her side trying to console her.

"Okay. Maybe husband being here would have been nice afterall," I thought to myself.
But I put on a happy face, trusted my heart, and knew that everything was going to be alright.
I was right. Everything was in fact okay . I had yet another amazing radiologist that came in after the tech did my ultrasound, sat me down, did the ultrasound yet again {which not going to lie.. scared me a little bit}, and walked me through the whole process putting every worry I had walking into that room aside.

Yes, the white spot is still there. And yes, it still "means nothing," He checked, double and triple checked, to make sure there were no other markers there or that nothing was missed from the last appointment, and again, he found nothing. He proceeded to tell me that my baby boy is perfect in every way and that his heart is extra special.
I love him for that.

Big sister was also wonderful through the whole process. I was really worried that being up this early and having to sit still for so long, that surely we were in for some sort of tantrum. But no. She sat in the chair next to me coloring, calling out "baby brother" on the screen and "ooohing and ahhing" over the jelly and the "wand" going over my belly.

After my ultrasound, we headed back downstairs to see our main doctor, who was great as he always is..."So twins, huh" he says to me as he walks into the room. That funny guy, never missing an opportunity for a joke.

He said everything looked beautiful. All my numbers looked great. Urine great. Blood pressure normal. Measuring right on track. Not to mention... NO WEIGHT gain since last time.
I have to mention this at the end of this weekly wrap up... when we first arrived to the appointment and the nurse called my name to let me know they were ready for me... I scooped E up in my arms, grabbed the large diaper bag and our jackets, and headed in afterwards. She then said to me... words that put a big smile on my face....

"You really have things together you know. You are so ready for number two."
Thank you. Yes, I am ready. And although I don't "feel" like I have things together all the time.. I know that I am doing my best for my family. And hearing those words? Was exactly what I needed that morning.
And she didn't even know it.

We named Him.....

The story behind the name to come on Thursday... In the meantime.....
Here is the big reveal. The name that took 29 weeks to decide.
The name that will be... our son.

29 week bump attack & Posts to Come

Week: 29
Total Weight gain: 20 lbs
Stretch Marks: None
Belly Button: Out
Gender: Boy
Name: Coming on Tuesday :)
Labor signs: None
Things to note: Baby is STILL very low. Uncomfortably low.
Appointment: Monday including ultrasound. I must have passed my glucose test 2 weeks ago because I haven't heard back from the office.

My belly button is very much popped out. Exhibit A:

Nothing really new to report. Growing by the minute. Trying to take it easy when I can... but I constantly find myself running around busy with household stuff, toddler stuff, wife business, or work.

I just can't believe that in a few days I will be 30 weeks! 30. THREE-ZERO.

I will be very surprised if we go to 40 weeks with this baby boy. I'm thinking my magic eight ball {the hopeful one} is saying more around the 38 week mark. Which means 8 weeks. Which means... I better get a move on these last minute things!

My baby girl's birthday is in 2 weeks! WHAT! She turns two. TWO.

Coming up:
Saturday: $50.00 gift card giveaway; Meet Meghan & Karissa; 12am
Sunday: Meet Melissa; 12am
Deals of the week; 10am
Monday: Show and Tell link up; How I met you father: 12am
Tuesday: We named him: 12am
Wednesday: Maybooks giveaway: 12 am
Happy Halloween: 4pm
Thursday: What my toddler eats; 8 am
Friday: Bump Attack; 30 weeks; 8am

28 week Bump Attack

10.19.12

Do we like how the whole fam-dam is hanging out in this picture? This is us during our usual night time routine. Elliana reading on the bed with papa waiting for me to join them for story-time, and Carson just relaxing on the couch. Clearly Elliana's room is the place to be.

Once again, I have resorted to instagram photos. And? I don't see that changing anytime soon. In fact, I sort of, kind of, really like it that way. Mainly? Because it is so much easier on this mama. And mama sure doesn't mind anything that has easy labeled to it.

Onto the pregnancy {since this is what the post is all about after-all}. The baby boy.
Week: 28
Weight gain: I must have lied last week when I said 16 pounds, because when I jumped {not really} onto the scale at the doctor's office Monday, I had gained a total of a whopping 20 pounds! Now. That isn't bad compared to my first pregnancy where I was up 30 at this point... but still. STILL. I was hoping to ONLY gain about 20-25 this pregnancy. Doesn't look like THAT is going to happen.

Stretch marks: None
Belly button: Definitely out

Labor signs: None. No braxton hicks either.
Linea Nigra: Nope
Gender: BOY BOY BOY. Nameless boy {Still}. I blame that one on the husband.
Sleep: Still sleeping through the night. Which means I don't even get up once to pee at night. Which means come mornining time, I'm running!

We had our appointment on Monday and it was the dreaded glucose test. Except? It wasn't so dreaded {like I had remembered it being}. I scarfed down the drink in record time and didn't feel like I had to gag. You know who else joined me? The little princess. Now. I usually don't like to take her to my appointments {especially since this one was an extra long one}, but I had no choice... and she surprised me! She did great. Big sister colored a lot. Played with toys. And was just an angel {well wouldn't go that far} throughout the morning. Needless to say, mama gave her lots of hugs, kisses, and praise.

She did however HAVE to sit next to me while I layed down on the table for the doctor to find the heartbeat. That's the funny thing with big sister... she doesn't like anyone messing with her mama... and prefers to be right by my side. My little protector :)

Baby boy got his new RUG in the mail the other day! EEK! And this time? I am VERY happy and excited about it. It is going to work in his nursery perfectly. Now, we just need to get started on painting and such.

I know that I have voiced this on the blog one too many times, but I honestly cannot express enough how low this kiddo is. So low that I feel like he is just hanging out in between my legs ready to pop out. And it is way too early for that sort of business. In fact, when I took a walk the other day with Elliana, I thought he was going to do just that. I am certain that people driving by thought there was something wrong with me. Probably had a concern or two for my safety.

So what do we have coming up? Well appointments are now every two weeks. I just cannot fathom that anymore. And we have an ultrasound next time to take a look at the baby again and check and see how the heart is doing {hoping all goes well}. The upside is that we get to see baby boy again! With Elliana, I only had those two initial ultrasounds {confirm pregnancy at 9 weeks and anatomy scan at 18 weeks}, so this will be nice to see how much baby boy has grown and be able to see his cute little features in greater detail now that he will be 30 weeks.
30 weeks. Did you just hear that. In a week and a half, I will be counting down the weeks.

It just all seems so surreal to me. Someone. Please. Pinch me.

27 WEEK Bump Attack

10.12.12

Every week I get lazier and lazier with these bump attack pictures. In reality though, life gets busier and busier, and standing in front of a tripod and take multiple cute pictures, edit them, watermark them, and post them on my blog? Just doesn't happen.

At least I am still keeping up with these posts {for the the most part}. That counts for something, right?

Week: 27
Weight gain: 16 pounds?
Stretch marks: None
Movement: LOTS {down low}
Contractions: None
Maternity clothes: Just shirts to work, regular pants, dresses, and other shirts


Third Trimester. That is where we are at folks. Third. The final. To say I am a little bit surprised by this would be an understatement. To imagine that in 2 1/2 weeks I will be in the 30's is just baffling. More reason for us to get our butt into gear and get moving {which we have actually}.

I purchased three cute little hospital gowns this week. This is something that I regretted not doing with Elliana when I delivered her. Although I had every intention to do so the first time around, I just never bit the bullet and went with it. This time? I was up late browsing through etsy when I found the most adorable of all adorable hospital gowns. Here are two of them.

My dad is coming over to help Andrew with the master bath remodel on Saturday. They should be able to get everything done in one day, which means we will be officially done with all the rooms and bathrooms upstairs {except the nursery}. So then we can devote all of our time to the nursery. I am also working with RugsUsa in getting baby boy a new rug! I can't wait to see it :)

Overall, I am still feeling very pregnant. The tune of the week. Or this whole pregnancy. I don't feel cute anymore and just feel like my face is getting larger, my arms are getting larger, and my legs {no surprise} are getting larger. Larger. That's the tune of the week.

Saturday: Friends of October

Sunday: Part II of our Friends

Monday: Show & Tell Monday; When I was 17

Tuesday: The attachment Phase @ 12 am

ShopACutabove.com Highliht/Giveaway @1pm

Wednesday: The big girl room reveal

Thursday: Life Lately

Friday: Bump attack 28 weeks

It doesnt seem real

The whole... I'm going to have another baby in a few months. The whole...I'll be a mama to two. The whole... I have to learn how to be a "boy mama."

It just all doesn't feel real.

You would think by now it would have sunk in. You know the moving around all the time. The heartbeat appointment after appointment. The ever so growing belly. The sweet ultrasound pictures. The fact that he likes to hang out down low in comparison to Elliana. The fact that I can feel every part of this pregnancy, muscle aches and all. Not to mention that I have now reached the Third Trimester.

You would think.

But I don't know... It just hasn't sunk in.

Maybe it's because we haven't put a name to the face yet. Hate to admit it, we haven't even really talked names since the day we found out it was a boy. Maybe it's because we haven't even started the nursery. Sure we have ordered certain things. Important things. But as far as painting and getting the million items of junk out of the room? Just hasn't happened. Maybe it's because my days are so busy chasing around a cute little toddler, getting the house in order, cooking and cleaning, maintaining my blog, and working 3 night shifts at the hospital. So much so, that the weeks flash right before my eyes and I often think that I'm not as far as long as I truly am.

Maybe,  it's because it just doesn't seem real. Something that I can't imagine. I can't picture. And a part of me thinks that I have a lot more time than I truly do.

But in reality, time is going by fast. August turns into September, September to October. And before you know it, it will be December. Which to me, is baby due month {at the end}... I hope.

In reality, we are going to have a fresh squishy little newborn that will resemble his big sister.
In reality, Elliana is going to be a big sister. 
In reality, we are going to have to learn how to juggle our time between two kids.
In reality, I am scared of how Elliana will react to less mama attention.
In reality, soon enough... we will be counting contractions, walking a lot, and wondering when the arrival will be.
In reality, I'm afraid I'm going to deliver my baby at home.

In reality? In all honesty?

It just doesn't seem real. Hello third trimester. Welcome. But? It still doesn't seem real.

26 Week Bump Attack

10.05.12

I know I have been slackin' on the bump pictures... but guys, life is flying by. Where is the time going?!

Week: 26
Weight gain: 13 pounds? I think I gained 3 over the weekend alone
Stretch marks: None
Belly button: I think it's pretty much an "outy" now.
Linea Nigra: NO! Which is crazy to me, because I definitely had a prominent one this time around.
Clothes: Regular, although I did buy my first maternity shirt ever! I have to say that I am impressed/happy with the fact that my jeans/pants still fit! Now... a few of them don't button anymore, but still fit. I have hope this pregnancy that I won't be gaining the 45 pounds like I did last time.
Heartburn: Yes! Much more than the first time around {I think}

And as always, just feeling very pregnant. He is still hanging out VERY low in my pelvis, and I feel that pressure all the time that I did when I was full term with my first. And? I'm not even close to full term. So. What does that tell you.

Does baby boy have a name? Absolutely not. And it's ABSOLUTELY ridiculous. I feel bad for him already. The weeks are flying by and we need to just sit down and make oursevlves do it. I tell you what. We do, however, have the middle name picked out. That was an easy one. Now... to figure out the first name. I basically have 2 names and Andrew is just going to have to suck it up and choose one. It's in his hands now.

This past week: We have been busy at work finishing Elliana's big girl room, and I am happy to report that it is {finally} all done! Which means the master, guest/office, and big girl room are finally finished. Which means all we have left is the master bath and then the nursery. And guess what? The rug I had originally purchased for the nursery? I am totally not feeling anymore. Which means? We are going to have to paint the room and make more changes than anticipated. And time is definitely not on our side.

So, nursery progress?: Eh. It's our "junk room" right now. All the furniture is in there, but now we just need to paint, get the new rug, and add the finishes touches. In reality, it's a weekend type project and something we could get done fast... it's the whole... starting the process that is the hard part.

Overall, I just can't believe that next week I will be in my third trimester. I mean honestly it is just so baffling to me how much quicker this pregnancy has been. You know what they say is completely true. Having a toddler to chase around and love on makes the time just fly by. Which I'm not complaining, because I so cannot wait to meet our little man!!

Coming up: Appointment is October 15th, which I will have my glucose test. We have the apple orchard to go to. Elliana and I are planning on making a couple trips to the zoo. And of course there is Halloween!! Lots of exciting things coming up, that I'm sure, will make the time just go by even faster.

The holidays are right around the corner! I am so ready to put my santa hat on. And the UPS man is already making daily trips to our house. Ah, yes, the season of giving.

23 & 24 week bump attack posts & New Necklace!

9.20.12

I'm kind of sort of throwing the two weeks together. I had both weeks typed up and done as well as pictures taken, but they just didn't quite make it on the blog. So. Today they do. Also, be sure to check out the pretty necklace {and details below} in the pictures.
------

23 weeks

Total weight gain: 10 lbs {compared to 23 the first pregnancy at this point}
Maternity clothes: None
Stretch marks: None
Feeling: Great, but very pregnant
Complaints: None
Belly button: Still in {barely}
Names: No idea
Gender: Definitely Boy!

Happenings this week: We went to a first birthday party on Sunday and it was so fun. Big sister was super shy at first {as she always is}, and when she finally let me put her down to play, she had to be by my side at all times. So when mama had to get up to get a cookie or brownie {yes, I said it}, she had a little mini anxiety attack. I'm not sure Teddy Graham how she will do with having to share mama.

Elliana does understand that "baby brother" is in mama's belly. We ask her to give her baby brother a kiss and she will walk over, but her hands around my belly {with me kneeling down} and plant a big one. It is by far on the cutest things I ever did see.

Husband is doing well. He is still nervous and anxious about our last news on the ultrasound about the white spot, but no worries Teddy Graham, mama has assure him plenty of times that everything will be okay. Just know, it's in your papa's nature to always overthink and overworry. That's because he already loves you so VERY much.

Appointment this week:
Coming up next week: Lots of working. Lots of playing. And lots of work on the big girl and nursery. Happy to report that the big girl is {almost done} and the nursery can then get our undivided attention. We have, however, already ordered the bedding set, curtains, and mobile for the little man, as well as the rug. BEFORE we have even decided the paint color.
Hey, it's how my brain operates :)

-----

24 weeks:

Total weight gain: 11 lbs
Clothes: non-maternity
Stretch marks: none
belly button: still in

This week has been an overall good week. Again, very busy... but I don't see that changing anytime soon. I had work/work related things Monday-Thursday. Working on a blog design sometime this weekend. Have a garage sale on Saturday. And finishing up Elliana's room {I know, baby steps}.
I'd like to get Elliana's room done soon, so that I can go ahead and get started on our master bath, and then eventually start on the nursery. I feel like I am going to be in my 3rd trimester before we know it.
Oh wait, that's because I am. Only 3 weeks to go.

Moving right along. Big sister had her very first fever/cold. She had had the sniffles before, but never the whole runny nose/fever/crummy feeling. It was so pathetic to see her sick and it killed my mama heart. Needless to say, I am very grateful that we have gone this long without going through this befoe, because I don't do well with my baby not feeling well.

So what did we do? We layed around and watched re-runs of Caillou and bubble guppies. Ate left over banana cake. And snuggled and smooched on the couch. I love that girl.
Next appointment: October 15th and I will have the glucose test then!

And did you notice the pretty little necklace around my neck? Well that would be one of Grace Adele's new products. Grace Adele is a product of Scentsy {which I know you all have heard of}, and well now they have a jewelry/accessory/handbag line now, and beautiful mama Laura allowed me the opportunity to review this lovely product. It went perfect with my grey dress that I wore {to go car shopping in} and I have to say it is definitely something that I can throw together with a variety of outfits.

So have you checked it out? Have you heard of it? Be sure to browse around all the pretty new things they have to offer and get in contact with Laura to purchase your very own Grace Adele products :)

Bare belly Bump & A Couple of Things

9.7.12
I feel like I need an update post here. So? 

That's what you guys are getting before I head upstairs to go to bed.

***Lets start with the bump. You know today is usually bump attack day where I show you my bump in a cute little dress and write cute little sayings and all that. Well? As you can see, that isn't exactly happening. What is happening though {a first on the blog} is my bare belly bump {this pregnancy} at 22 weeks. Please meet, Mr. Teddy Graham as close as it gets.

He's pretty handsome if I do say so myself. And as far as how this week has been going? Pregnancy wise? Great. Nothing new to report really. I think I gained a pound. I was supposed to have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday, but I work the night before and that just sounds like torture. So I hope that by the time this post goes live that I have called and rescheduled. If my pregnancy brain decides to function properly.

***Monday's Show and Tell is Baby Talk. Click here for the questions. I already have my post ready!

***I'm ready for fall. And fall shopping! And speaking of fall shopping, and shopping in general, please take a look at Kiki La' Rue's adorable collection of items. I need to convince the husband I need everything.

***Moving right along, what has been going on this week? Lots and I mean lots of remodeling. That's all we did all weekend. We are talking changing everything, every room, yada yada, upstairs. So? My house looked like a construction zone. And? It drove me wild. Which means? Husband heard a lot of whining, complaining, and please do this honey from me. Which means? Two rooms are officially done! And? I even took pictures. Better yet? I have posts scheduled. Unfortunately, with the amount of posts scheduled, they aren't due to post until the end of September. Although I'm so tempted to post now!

I even got all DIY and painted this black side table PINK! ah. LOVE.

***Sponsor highlight coming tomorrow! Come back and check out some awesome ladies!

***In case you missed yesterday's post, I have started to take blog designs. Limiting to 3 a month. **UPDATE I have 8 people on the list.

***Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For such kind, sweet, loving words from you all about my ultrasound day. I absolutely understand that it may not sound like a big deal to anyone, but like I had said, it was part of our day, I wrote it that very morning full of emotion, and it's something I don't want to forget. My heart goes out to all women out there that have ever sat in that chair and heard devastating news. Exceeding anything that I may have been told. So special thank you to you all.


***Speaking of baby boy... No name yet. Or even close. At all. I need HELP. shoot them my way!

"There's something... but it's nothing..." Part II

9.5.12

....part one....

And then the radiologist walks in. A handsome, tall, young man that had some sort of calmness and strength about him that almost instantly put me at ease. 

He pulled the curtain. Grabbed the box of kleenex. Put his hand on mine and said...

"We found something.... but please don't worry, it's nothing."


NOTHING. If it's nothing then why are we doing a third ultrasound in less than 30 minutes. If it's nothing then why are you, the mystery radiologist, that I have never had to meet before sitting in front of me. If it's nothing then why do I feel like a hundred broken pieces unable to be put back together.

IF it's NOTHING then tell me what it is.

Of course, I didn't say any of these things. How could I? I sat there so numb and silent, worried and confused, that I probably couldn't speak english yet alone demand answers during those first few moments. 

He could tell that about me. The radiologist. I didn't have to say anything. In fact, I said nothing. And it's as though he could hear every thought and emotion going through me that very second... and before I could open my mouth, he opened his....

"We found a white spot on the baby's heart. This is known as calcification."

"A white spot on the heart is neither an abnormality nor birth defect. "

"It does not indicate that something is wrong with your baby."

"1% of babies have this, and live normal healthy lives."

"This is what we like to call a soft marker. What that means is that we must look further when we see these things... to make sure."

"It does not increase the chance of your baby having down syndrome. You walked into this room with a 1 in 1,000 chance. You will walk out of this room with a 1 in 1,000 chance."

"If I had the option, I wouldn't even tell moms about this because it causes unnecessary worry."

I sat and cried for a little while, taking it all on, not sure of where we were going with all this. He went on explaining things in further detail to me. What he was about to do. What he was about to look for. What this means. What it doesn't mean. Explaining to me not to worry, and why they do/look for what they do.

Before he began the ultrasound he looked at me and said those words again... "Your baby is fine. Yes, there is something there, but it's nothing."

"Again, if it's nothing... then why are we taking a closer look?"

Great question. The reason for that is because they have to, in order to be sure. And by sure, I mean as sure as technology allows us to be. Although they did not notice anything on my original ultrasound, that white spot alone triggered for him to come in the room to look further. Do more measurements. Analyze things a little closer.

So the wand went onto my belly. That cold jelly. You know, I felt it more this time. I paid attention to every detail. Hung onto every word. Nervous for him to find more.

He kept eye contact with me at every possible opportunity. Assuring me every chance he could get. Sharing everything with me in such great detail....listening to the words I wasn't vocalizing. Answering the questions I couldn't quite find the words to ask.

He looked at the brain. Measured the outer layer. Perfect. Looked at the nasal structure to make sure there was skeletal formation present. It's there. Glanced at the limbs. Proportional, not short. Took a closer look at the heart. Looks great.

After he finished, he raised the seat up. Positioned my pillow so I could be more comfortable and asked me how I was doing...

At this point, the tears had stopped. I had ten million and one thoughts running through my head... and all I could think was that I felt at ease. That sometime in that last 20 minutes... something clicked. Whether it was the fact I was blessed with such a kind, caring, knowledgable physician.... or the fact that I knew in my heart that everything would end up okay...something told me that this happened for a reason. That I needed to be reminded of the blessing that this child is. To not take good health for granted. And to trust and have faith.

So what does this all mean?

There's nothing of certainty. But because this was the only marker, and because it is neither an abnormality nor a birth defect, there is no reason for them to believe that my baby has Down Syndrome. Like the doctor had said, finding this marker did not increase my chances nor indicate that something may be wrong. It's something that just happens to be there. And because it's there? It raises a red flag for them to look further.

He went on to say that he compares it to a baby who is born with blue eyes versus one that is born with brown. Neither one is better than the other, neither one is healthier than the other. One is not more abnormal or with a disability. They are just born different.

And thus, my baby has a white spot on his heart. Neither making him abnormal, different, or set up for any health risks in his future.

"It's something... but yet... it's nothing."

I will hold on to those words, and pray for my baby the day we deliver that his "white spot" proves to show us that, in fact, it was nothing. And I am reminded now, every day, that nothing in this world is of certainty. 

That technology does not always have the right answers.
That sometimes it does more bad than good.
That sometimes, we know too much.

That something that "is there" may be something "that isn't."

When the doctor had told me... "we found something..."

9.4.12

Written on the day of our ultrasound, just hours after coming home. 8/13/12. Part one of the story. Please read every detail carefully as it may be misleading to jump around. It's "something" but it's "nothing." Words that are hard to wrap your head around.

I was contemplating how to start this post. There was never a question as to whether or not I would write it. The question was when would I share this, and how would I go about sharing it. You see, I want to remember every detail of today, even the details that I wish weren't there. Even the details that make me tear up just thinking about it.

From the beginning, we decided we weren't going to share this information with my family. Which in turn meant that I could not share this on my blog as a couple of family members happen to read this. However, after much thought, I realized that this is my diary of our life. A chapter in our lives that I don't want to get lost or forgotten. And hopefully it will mean nothing. I believe it will mean nothing. But doesn't change the fact that it was a part of our day today. A part of our baby. And a part I don't want to just pretend doesn't exist. In fact, I hope I will connect with other women out there going through similar experiences. Whether it be their own, their family's, or their friend's.

We have still not shared this news with my family, and I'm hoping that this post will get lost in the mix. I'm hoping. Not because I don't want them to know. But because I don't want them to worry. But if they do happen to read it? I hope that by the end, they will understand why I didn't share this with them initially, and why it would be so difficult to explain to them... "We found something... but... it doesn't mean anything." How do you put into words... there's something there... but.... there's nothing there.

That is why I felt this, this space of mine, would probably be the best place for them to get the most information, detailed image, and a much more thorough explanation. Because if I tried to put it into words myself, whether in person or over the phone, I may not be able to do it. And my biggest fear is that they wouldn't understand.

My biggest fear writing this now, is that people may not understand. But before I begin, just know that everything is okay. I have been lead to believe that everything is okay. My gut tells me everything is okay. And I have now, finally, felt at ease with everything I was told.

I will throw out words like Down Syndrome, birth defect, abnormalities, but believe me when I say this... I have to use these words to explain what was found. It neither means that our baby has any of these things, nor does it mean that what they found increases our baby's risk of having some sort of chromosomal abnormality. It is, again, the best way to put it... just a part of our story.

I will not know how the story ends, but I do know how it begins.... And it begins with me in the ultrasound room hearing the most beautiful words ever...

"You're having a BOY!"....

We were in a dark room. The same room I had heard "It's a girl" just a little over 2 years ago. In the room was the ultrasound tech, me, my dear husband, and our beautiful baby girl, who repeatedly kept saying "Baby" when the ultrasound tech was taking the wand across my belly. And when she heard the word brother? She smiled from ear to ear... "bruddda"....

Me: "Did she just say what I think she did?"
Andrew: "I think so."

And there I was, completely lost in that moment. I was so lost that I think I stopped paying attention to the ultrasound tech. I would glimpse up and see her going through the anatomy.

The spine looks great. The brain looks great. There's the heart. The kidneys look good. The stomach. The bladder. There are the fingers and toes. The beautiful little fingers and toes. The hands that were so close to the baby's face and wouldn't budge. Those same hands that prevented us from getting a 4D image of our baby boy's face. Those same hands I cannot wait to touch, to kiss, to hold close to my heart.

And then it was over. I thought it was over. And the tech said "From what I can see, everything looks great, but let me go make sure the physician doesn't need me to take any more images."

I've done this before you know. It had been a little over two years since my anatomy scan with Elliana, but I hadn't recalled the tech needing to leave the room to make sure. Then again, this was someone new. Then again, it's been two years Becky. Practices change all the time. Maybe this is protocol now. Maybe she is just a type A personality. Maybe that's just what they do.

Nothing crossed my mind to lead me to believe something was actually wrong. In fact, I was still dumbfounded when she came back to say she needed to do a vaginal ultrasound to check out my placenta to make sure that it wasn't over my cervix.

Okay. I totally understand that.. pretty common.

We did that. All turned out okay. Once again, she said she would be right back but otherwise I could get dressed and I'll be going to my appointment next.

At this point... Elliana was getting worked up. It was early in the morning and she was in an unfamiliar place. She wanted to run and roam and she was beginning to act up. I asked Andrew to take her outside, and as he does I hear the tech saying "Do you want to talk to her about it, or do you want her doctor to talk to her." She was speaking with the radiologist.

My heart sank for a minute. But still. At that moment, I thought maybe the placenta was in fact closer to the cervix.. and that? Well that didn't seem to bother me much as I am pretty familiar with this from literature I had read.

It was when she came back into the room and said that we had to do another ultrasound... except this time over the belly....

And when I asked "Why, because of my placenta?"

She said "No... the baby.

That was when the tears started flowing down my face as I sat in alone in this dark room waiting for the radiologist to come in to do an ultrasound himself. Waiting to find out what was going on. Waiting to find out what they could have possibly found with my baby when just minutes prior she had said "everything looked fine." 

A million thoughts running through my head.

And then the radiologist walks in. A handsome, tall, young man that had some sort of calmness and strength around him that almost instantly put me at ease. He pulled the curtain. Grabbed the box of kleenex. Put his hand on mine and said...

"We found something.... but please don't worry, it's nothing."

part II to come.

21 week bump attack

8.31.12

Oh you know... just me... rockin' a necklace backwards. Oops. Didn't notice until AFTER ;)

Got your first batch of clothes in the mail. I am of course in love with the thought of having a BOY version of Elliana running around in this house with cute little striped rompers on. Who said boys can't be well dressed? I will make sure of it.

Now, no bows for you my dear, but definitely cute leather jackets, jeans, and hats. We will accessorize where we can.
Don't hate me for it.

Still no boy name picked out. Although we have a couple on our mind.
Weight gain total: 9lbs.
Maternity clothes: none.
Stretch Marks: None. Lets keep it that way
Belly button: Barely in

Feeling lots of movement. Feel a lot of pressure down yonder. Feel a lot, period. I just feel more pregnant. I know I sound like a broken record. But really, it's pretty prominent these days. And? I'm only halfway through. Not complaining, just saying.

Elliana's big girl room is in the making. Which means that the office will also be in the making to transform it into an office/ guest bedroom. And then the current guest bedroom will then be made into your sweet nursery. I cannot wait to add your personal touches to it. Especially once we have a name picked out.

The weeks are flying by right now. Fall is right around the corner. Which means the holidays will be here before you know it. I can already hear Santa's sleigh bells ringing.... ho ho ho :)