Monday, February 11, 2013

The Dreaded "Potty Training" Post.

This will not be the post where I give you tips and tricks in mastering your little bundle of joy to sit on the pot like a pro and rid your home of diapers {for baby number one}. Whether that be disposable or cloth.

Nope. Not the post. Not here. Not now. Hopefully in the future though. Hopefully.

I despise that word {two words Becky, two words} you know. Whatever. The phrase. The term. The whole concept in general. Truly. I didn't even want to write about this topic. Ever. Not even before we started this whole shin-dig {if that's what you want call it}. And certainly not during. Or after {ha. I don't know when that "after" will be}.

You see, we are having issues. Lots of them. Well mainly oneIt's not happening. Anymore.

I often ask myself... "How do these mamas do it over the weekend. Just like that and their kid just gets it. Trained." And then I snap out of it and quickly come back down to reality. Beck you know the answer to that. I do? Yes. Repeat after me...


Something I have been saying over and over again during the past 2.5 years of motherhood. Something that I have drilled in my head, my husband's head, and every other person that cares to listen to me ramble about children. They're all different. They learn different. They walk different. They act different. They reach milestones differently. They're different.

Have I mentioned, they're different?

So, why was I here ever questioning why my child was even having problems? Then again, why even call it a problem? It's just something we have to learn. Another part of motherhood.

You see, I purchased the "potty" {play some haunted music right about now} at around 18 months. Not in hopes of her being trained by then... just introducing it. Having it sit in the room. Talk about it. Read books about potty training. Have her see it. That's it. Then the two year old mark came. And I was all... we got this. We will do this soon. While being 8 months pregnant, might I add. Just a thought.

Then we went to our doctor's appointment for her two year visit, and what do you know... the doc shuts down this lovely idea of potty training and says..."Wait until this summer when she's 2 and a half. She's not ready, not with the baby coming." Remind me to hang up my nurse mentality and listen to doctors more often, will you?

So I let that thought sink in.

Now lets fast forward a couple months; We have the baby. We are adapting well. We are rockin' this whole life with two kids

And one night it happened. IT happened.

Elliana was talking about Caillou  and "no more diapies" and I took that as a sign. She's ready. So ready. So I tested out this theory, helped her take off her pants and said try to go pee pee baby. On the pot in the living room {apparently that's a big no no in the potty training world}. And after about an hour of running around she plops down on the seat and goes pee. Just like that. JUST LIKE THAT!

I'm pretty sure I still had the little man nursing when I was running to the kitchen to get the piece of chocolate that I had promised to give her if she would go. I couldn't have been happier to see her eat chocolate like I was at that very moment. Thrilled.

"Holy cow this stuff is easy!" I thought. She was going to master this thing and make it look like a walk in the park. I just knew it. Sure of it.

Then we tried to go number two the next day, and what do you know, just like that SHE WENT! Of course bribing was involved. Of course a treat was given. Of course the praise and my screaming shrills of excitement could be heard all throughout the neighborhood. Pictures were taken and sent to all family members. And we were proud. P R O U D.

Then we had accidents. That was okay. They were happening more often than the "successful" trips. They became more and more frequent.

Days had gone by and we had not been successful. I thought she got it, the concept. She could stand to hold her pee for 5+ hours and then when she really had to go she would beg for the diaper and the pants.  She was doing the whole "potty" dance and all. Legs crossed. Walking around like she was holding onto a bucket of water. In her bladder. She would begin to cry until I put them on. And it wasn't the "tantrum" type cry. It was the real cry.

I was at a loss. So confused. Unsure of myself. Mom guilt. I felt every emotion possible. Even frustrated {another no no in the potty training world}.

And that's when I knew enough was enough. She just wasn't ready. The first time she cried when she had to go... I blamed it on her being tired. The second time? I knew she was trying to tell me something, and here I was completely clueless and holding onto the idea that I just knew she was ready. When all along she was trying to tell me that she wasn't.

So we packed up the potty training idea and put it in the closet. For now. I plan on re-introducing it again in a month and try something new. We are going to completely do things differently. Including buying a new potty. That's how new I want this to feel. I'm going to go into this with a different perspective. Learn from our first little trial and error, and try to avoid all the "no no's" in the potty training world.

At the end of the day, Potty training taught me a big major lesson in life. In motherhood.

Listen to your child. Forget the books. Forget the experts. Forget what every other kid is doing. We are talking about your kid here. Your life. Your joy. Your everything. She isn't like every other kid, she is her own self. So what if she didn't get it over the weekend? So what if she isn't ready?

So. What.

So although I have to admit Mr. Potty training.... I highly despise you.
Just know this...We WILL beat you.


  1. Love this! Our potty training experience was very similar, except I said we would try again in a month, and then I didn't - ha! I waited till she asked me to do it one day, and she was 32 months (which seemed so old), and she had approximately 3 accidents and we were done. I wish I would have just waited to try till she was ready to begin with! You figured it out a little quicker than me:)

  2. It's SO true. You've got to listen to your kid and do things when THEY are ready. I love having the Internet/blogs/social media for so many things, but I think it really messes with our expectations of what our kids "should" be doing.

  3. You sound just like me I say to everyone every child is different. You will conquer the potty!

  4. Have you heard of this before?

    We used it as a guide when we potty training our son at 2 1/2 years old. It has lots of great tips, and although he still had accidents after the three days, it was a great starting point for us and gave us tons of fantastic tips of what to say/not to say to help the process along. We'll be doing this again with our second son later this year, and I'll be doing it the same way we did it the first time around.

    You can read about our potty training experience here:
    and here is an update and a potty training chart we used:

    Good luck! It can be tough, but you and your sweet girl can do it! It will be worth all the work to see her proud smile. :)

  5. I didn't know toilet in living room was a no-no. Oh well! :) We did that. My little guy loved watching shows while going potty. He doesn't bring it out now, but it worked then.

  6. I'm in the same boat with you! My son and E are about the same age and although I heard boys were harder to potty train I thought "my boy? No way!" But I learned that its not just because he is a boy, it's because he's just not interested right now and that's fine with me! While learning his individuality and battling through the "terrible twos" I didn't want to push and add pressure to something he just wasn't ready for. He'll get there and so will E and when they do a huge party will be thrown!

  7. The same exact thing happened with my daughter - all was good for the first few days and then she just started having more accidents than successful potty's and she was getting upset over it and crying I'd she had an accident. And you know what, I did the same thing - put the potty away. It so wasn't worth her feelin like a failure just to meet a milestone. So, we will try again in a few months. Good luck!

  8. love this post. we did the weekend potty training experience where you commit to pretty much being home bound for two days read a lot of potty books and ElmoPotty video in which they sing of poo poo ha, and our K didn't like the accident in her panties and she went from then on. But before you smack me in the head wait for it the #2 did not go like that at all. That child would cross her legs and I would put her pull up on so she could go poo. She surely wasn't ready so we waited a few months and she was ready then. I was worried she would never poo in the potty lol but my mom told me now Summer no kiddo goes to Kindergarten in diapers all kiddos are different and just listen to your K and ya'll will get this. It was hard girl not gonna lie but we survived lol and ya'll will too! Lots of luck pretty girl
    love ya

  9. For us, a friend of mine told me 3 is the magic number. I also tried to potty train my son after 2 and he ended up having a hernia while trying to poop. That's a whole other story. So I listened to my friend and sat back and watched as my other friends stressed for about a year with their kids. It was all consuming for them and knowing how things can stress me easily I decided to just wait. Sure enough right around 3 my son Teague started potty training, it took two weeks and he's only had 2 very tiny accidents since and it's been a year. Yep we bought diapers longer than my other friends, but I never worried that we wouldn't make it to the bathroom at Target or anywhere else and he's completely dry at night too. My advice: be patient, when she's ready it should be way less stressful and quick. You are a good mom! Good luck!

  10. We just recently started the introduction phase! I didn't know living room was a no no! oops

    I also cant do bare bottom method, I really don't want to clean pee up off the carpet if we have accidents.

  11. I was really lucky when it was time for my son to be potty trained. I worked at the time, so my mother-in-law was sitting my son and another grandson. The other grandson was a year older than my son, so my son wanted to do everything he did which included using the potty. So he learned pretty quickly and was potty trained a little before 2...only b/c he was imitating his older cousin.

    Now, my 1 year old, might be a challenge, lol!


  12. I love posts like this that remind me that all moms have their trials just like me. My baby boy is 3 months old so we're obviously not potty training yet but we are working on sleeping through the night and he's doing a great job!

    I read some posts about the way that we're tackling this issue and there were some very negative things out there, but our current method is working for us and our baby man is growing like a weed so we're doing what works for us!

    Thanks again for your take on mommydom :)

  13. I'm terrified of potty training especially since my husband still gags when he has to change a poop diaper, even after a year. I told him just wait until our son poops on the floor (which WILL happen). So I suspect I will be doing most of the training/cleanup when the time comes.

  14. I've been following for a bit and meant to say hi in your "say hi" post. I wanted to comment today to let you know we "failed" twice potty training our boy Sam (who is now three). We thought he was ready, but he really wasn't. I put the potty seat away and didn't really talk about it much. I KNEW we'd be successful if we just waited longer and didn't force it. Two weeks before he turned three (actually, on chrismtas day) he took the lead and we haven't looked back ever since. My advice? Wait til they are, really ready. It will be so much easier and it's such a joy to see them just want to be a big kid and want to go pee and poop in the potty...cause that's what big girls and boy's do :) She's only 26 months, not even three. The blog world puts so much pressure on us Mom's to train so early, when really? They just aren't ready and forcing ends up hurting them and stressing us out.

    I think you're doing it right. Just wait longer and wait til she is really will make your life SO much easier. We are two months trained (day and nap) and I can't believe how easy it was this final time. It's amazing how much their little minds can mature in 6 months.

  15. Oh, and I blog at...

    Nice too "meet" you!

  16. Potty training will humble you, won't it?! I swore my child would be potty trained by the time she was two, and it totally did not happen. For a while I blamed it on the fact that her birthday is around the holidays, so you, we were "totally busy" and all.

    I, too, bought a potty at 18 months, and honestly, Emmalyn would go before bath time almost every night. Then she blatantly refused and would arch her back. So I stopped pushing it. We tried the whole home lock-down, in hopes that I could knock it out within a week, but after two days of cleaning up messes, I was fed up.

    Now she goes about once a day, and over the weekend she even went in public! I encourage and give her opportunities to go potty (including M&Ms for successes) but I don't push it anymore. I have no explanation, but to say that kids are just weird sometimes LOL & I'm pretty confident she won't be filing into kindergarten with a diaper on ;)

  17. you hit the nail on the head. you have to wait until they are ready. my daughter was so sporadic with going on the potty. we did stickers, m&ms, suckers, phone calls to nana, cute big girl undies. and she would go here and there, but really didn't care much about it. not even if she had an accident. didn't bother her one bit. she just turned 3 and she almost has it down pat. she'd go when we told her it was time to go sit, but would not tell us when she had to go on her own. we have now hit that stage, finally. so i get your frustration. some moms just do the 3 day method and poof they are magically potty trained. some kids are just stubborn and are going to do it when they are ready. so hang in there and it's not a big deal that she's not potty trained yet. she's 2 1/2, not 20 ;)

  18. Sounds normal!! Same thing happened with my boys. Sort of like a relapse. However, we did not give up or give in. No diapers! We pushed and pushed through the constant accidents and eventually they faded just like they started. My theory is that if they can ask for a diaper, they are too big for it. That's my opinion though. It's tough with a new baby. My oldest was potty trained at 18 months, 2nd at 2yrs (although we started early) and my baby is 15 months so I'd like to start her soon. It's normall for potty training to take a year or more, so I figure let's start early at least.

  19. So normal! We tried the 3 day potty training method and I totally thought we got this.....she was 2 1/2 but then she didn't have it and we went through the exact same thing true legitimate crying. So we put it all away and at 2 years 9 months we started again. We put on panties and never looked back. We've had two accidents and that was 2 months ago! We are even mostly night trained.....we've had such success because she was truly READY this time!

  20. I am dreading potty training! We bought the book, "A Potty for Me" by Karen Katz and Mia just loves it! I think it's getting her interest going. We also bought a potty at 20 months and she knows it's there. ha best of luck to you guys!

  21. The phrase. The term. The whole concept in general. Truly. I didn't even want to write about this topic. Ever. Not even before we started this whole shin-dig {if that's what you want call it}. And certainly not during. Or after {ha. I don't know when that "after" will be}. How to toilet train your kids


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