I Worry Less the Second Time Around

1. Monitoring how many diapers and how often he is eating. The first time around? I did the whole paper charting... for months. MONTHS! How long we breastfed. Which side. Poopy, wet, diapers. You name it, we did it. I even brought them to my doctor's appointments. Ha. Like he really wanted to see them? My chunker daughter was just that.. chunky. That was all the evidence my MD wanted.

So yes, this time around I downloaded a little fancy app, spent the 5 dollars, which then lasted only a few days before I threw that idea out the window.

2. Whether he is reaching all his milestones. I figure I will let my mama instinct take reigns on this one instead of what everyone says he should be doing. I trust I will remember when and what he should be doing at the appropriate times, and not to stress when it doesn't happen exactly when the experts say they should.

3. Sharing him with others. Share away.

4. Something happening to him. Of course as a mother, I will forever worry about my children. Probably more than a typical normal human being, as I have already insisted to Andrew a never-ending list of things our children are not allowed to do in fear of something happening to them. But what I mean here is that I won't fear of those scary things happening as a newborn. I won't fear something going wrong, me not doing the right thing, or him hurting. I just trust my mama instincts. Even more so than the first time around.

5. Crying. He is okay. If he cries for a minute, he will be okay. I don't worry about him hating me or not bonding with me because he cried. I know that things still need to get done, Elliana still needs my attention, meals need to be prepared, and I need to take care of myself. Now, of course, it never goes on longer than those couple of minutes, but still. I don't jump out of my skin at the very first sound of a whimper.

6. Co-sleeping. We do it. It works for us. For now. I don't worry like I did with Elliana at the beginning. Plus, I don't ever truly sleep. Ha. No really. When do I sleep?

7. Going out in public. Now... I still worry, however it's slightly different. With Elliana, the first month of her life we literally stayed in the house the whole time and only left for her doctor's appointments. Literally 30 days indoors. However this time around? I broke my rule. We have gone out in public places, but he has constantly stayed in his car seat {me never taking him out... he slept the whole time} and he was always covered up. Also? I carried the sanitizer around with me in my back pocket for both E and myself. We used it like crazy.

So, although there are many more things that are different this time around compared to the first, I wanted to focus mainly on this topic of "fear" and "worry." It stuck out to me the most.

Yes, I still worry. 
Yes, I will forever worry. 
Yes, I still take precautions.
I'll question myself at times.
I'll turn to Dr. Google every chance I get.
I'll do things I may have thought I never would.

But isn't that what motherhood is about anyway? Learning from experience. Never knowing what's to come. Fighting to be our very best for our children?

I think so. 

So yes, I worry less, but I've learned the power of even loving more.