Thursday, December 6, 2012

Boys will love on you. Guest Post

Because I turn my blog into a book, I like to make sure that the guest posts that I write for other bloggers make it on my blog as well. So I apologize if you have already read this post. You get to see it again :)

As you all know, we have a little baby on board. A baby that will make us a family of four. A baby that will make my current baby a BIG SISTER. A baby that has a little something different than my daughter does down there. I, a I-got-this-girl-thing-figured-out-mama now have to discover the world of boy. Which means? It's like being a first-time-mama all over again. Saying all this out load makes it more real than ever before. Does it mean that I believe it {the whole being a mama of two deal} or that it's sunk in? Absolutely not. Does it mean that I'm not ready? Absolutely not.

I'm more ready than ever before. But there are things, I have to admit, that I'm not ready for. You see, I have a really really REALLY close bond with my daughter. I guess every mom does with their child. But I'd like to think that we have something extra special. In her 21 months of life, I sitll get caught in the moment with her, each and every day. Wrapped up around her little finger. Squeezing her so tight and giving her one too many kisses. I ask my husband on a daily basis... is this normal? How much I love her? And he laughs at me. But I'm being serious. I look at her and I just feel like I see something so incredibly special between us. And the way she loves me is completely out of this world.

So am I ready to share this strong bond that we have together with another child? I'm not. Not saying that I won't, or that I will do it with hesitation. That's not the case. But am I ready to? It's just hard for me to imagine.

Hard to imagine what it will feel like to have less time with her. To not carry her around the house all the time. To have two little bodies to have to snuggle, love, teach, bathe, feed, and read night time stories to. It's hard to imagine that I will love someone even half as much as I love her. Do I think I will? Of course. But it's just hard to imagine.

So when people tell me that "boys love their mamas" and "there's nothing like a bond between a mama and her son" it kind of, sort of, really kills me a little inside. In fact, I tear up right now just thinking about that. Why? Because I know that my daughter's love is bigger than I would have ever dreamed of. She's a mama's girl through and through. And how much I love her? Is probably a little disgusting to some. So to think that someone could compare her love to my son's? Is just again, hard to imagine.

Don't get me wrong, there is no doubt that a son loves his mama a lot. But I'm here to tell you today that there's also nothing like a love and bond that my daughter and I have together. There's no doubt in my heart that my son will love me as much as she does. Or, I, love him as much as I love Elliana. But to compare one to another? To say that he will love me more or have a more special bond? Is just too much.

And trust me, I know people don't mean any harm by saying that. I think it just comes out naturally. And I get it. I tell people boys are fun all the time because my nephew is a blast.

It's you know... those hormones. Those mama bear claws. That protective side coming out.

My daughter is my world. And forever will be. Yes, I will have to share that world here in a short few months, but that will not change the bond between us. Not one bit. Her brother isn't even here yet and people are already dismissing the love that we have. I won't believe it for one second, and I won't hear it for one minute.I don't even know why gender has anything to do with a mother's bond with her children. And I'm here to tell you, it doesn't.

So being a mama of two? Is already turning out to be harder than I thought.
My son isn't even here yet.


  1. Great post! Me having two girls I hear that a lot about boys. Oftentimes people try to tell me that as if I need to be convinced to have another child because I'm missing something by not having a boy who supposedly will love his mom.

    But I would have to agree I don't think gender has anything to do with it! Both my girls are HUGE mama's girls. I'm sure the bond between a mother and son is special and different, but to say one is better or stronger than the other just comes off wrong for sure.

  2. Very sweet post. I have four (2 girls 2 boys) and each child is so very different and I can never imagine my life without them. :)


  3. It's nice to hear someone say these things.. I too have a little 2 year old girl and when we get pregnant, I am worried about so many things! My daughter and I are so close and also share a strong bond and I worry about how a boy would play into that mix. Maybe I also worry about it because I have no brothers, only sisters, so all I know are girls! I am so looking forward to seeing this boy join your family and see the feelings/experiences you have. PLEASE share them!

  4. Such a great and honest post. I'm sure many moms go through all of these feelings with their second child.

    You're going to do great!

  5. Very sweet post. I'm in the same position as you, just opposite. I have a 20 month old son and a daughter on the way. I've wondered about bonding with her and how things will change or not change with my little buddy. I'm glad I'm not alone!

  6. I think about the same things. I am a mother of a three year old girl and anytime I imagine a life with another child I freak out. I think about what life will be like juggling the two. If I will love and treat each one the same. Most people with multiple kids say its a different type of love but just as strong. I guess you dont really figure it all out until the time comes. But you sound like a wonderful mother and I am sure you will find your way. XO

  7. I've never commented before, but enjoy your blog!

    My son is 22 months and my daughter is 6 months and I felt the exact emotions. Once she arrived, I was amazed at the love I have for both of them...equally. Instantly!

    I think the biggest struggle is guilt. If I am spending time with one, I feel guilty that I'm not with the other. My toddler is so busy...I feel like I spend spend more time with him sometimes and my daughter tags along. She doesn't get the one on one attention my son had.

  8. I'm not even preggos yet, and who knows if I will have a boy or a girl, but EVERYONE tells me I NEED a boy because of the special bond between a mother and a son. But just like you, I am SOOOO close to Ellie, and she is such a momma's girl...I can't even imagine bringing another baby into the mix. Maybe that's why I have been putting it off for so long. To just have more time with JUST Ellie. And I know what you mean...most people think I'm weird...that I love Ellie so much and that is the reason I don't want to pull the trigger for #2 yet...I guess it might be, but I can't imagine another baby in our house right now!
    ♥ Kyna

  9. I hadn't seen this post yet, so thank you for reposting. I've been having so many feelings about baby #2. I adore my son and to some I'm sure I'm a little to attached. I wonder what gender I'm having next and how that will change, but I also wonder about how my life with my one son will change. So many feelings swirling!

  10. I didn't thin there was such a thing as being a protective boy-mama. I thought it was a hoax. But it's real.
    But I also think that part if it is just a first-time mama thing.... there's something special about that bond. No one can break it! :)


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