I took this picture a while back. At my parents house. Standing there in the entryway, taking, what I thought to be, just another picture. I instagram it and send it off. Not really thinking much of it, and went off to the living room where Elliana was busy playing with cars, and Graham sleeping soundly in the sleeper. I came back to that picture later on that day. This time, I looked at it a little longer. Studied it a little more. And I began to see people.
Family.
I could see food on the table, conversations among the people. Birthdays, holidays. Graduations. I could see change. Hair color changes. Attitude changes. Image changes.
My sister growing from a little girl, to now an adult. One that I diapered and babysat myself. Now a college student with dreams and aspirations. Me, a high school kid turned mom of two. With a whole lot happening in between. My brother, whom I would bicker back and forth with, now a father of two, business owner, and one I don't see as often as I'd like. Two of the three "kids" are now married. The other getting ready to go to college. Studying to be a nurse. My mom and dad, greying. A table which once held many parties for their friends and close family, now often times is open strictly for their children and grandchildren. The parties that we {the kids} would sneak away from and go upstairs to instead, are the ones that have turned into us choosing a Friday or Saturday night to share drinks with those parents. The one I'd sneak away from.
There is a lot that I could say about this room. A lot of different places to start. And many tangents to go off on. But when I look into this room, I am reminded the most of this family and the changes among us. How my parents have not only seen us grow {literally}, but we have also seen them grow. I can see the difference in parenting just in a span of 10 years. How age does have a way of changing things. Making us wiser. Making us learn from our mistakes. And inevitably, forcing us to grow. In more ways than one.
I look at this room and I think about where our lives are now. All of us. I can't help but think about how busy life is now in comparison to back then. How badly I wanted then to just grow up. For this month to go by. Or months. Or even years. But always feeling like time is at a standstill.
Now it's the complete opposite. If I could, I'd slow the time down. I'd savor any and all the memories I cherish in a bottle to keep hold of forever. If I could, I would. I think about how I don't see my brother and nephews as much as I should, but how it only takes a matter of a few months to make me feel like it had only been days. And then, then, I realize just how important it is to not forget about all these other aspects of our lives.
When I look at this room, I also think about what it would be like to go back in time and sit at that table next to that teenage girl. In the midst of all the chaos, Russian food, toasts and chatter. I think about what I would say to her. What, if any, advice I would give her. If I could just say one thing.
You'll sit at this very table in 10 years and have a baby in one hand, and a toddler in the other. You'll have a husband next to your side that you will give the occasional squeeze under the table during dinner. Your sister will be too busy and too grown up to want to carry on conversation with you, but do. Your brother will have a family of his own, and man do those kids grow up faster than yours it seems. Your parents will look much older to you. But you'll love and appreciate them on a whole new level. You all will sit at this table laugh and enjoy one another like you never had before. A baby will be passed around. A toddler will surely be running around screaming for no reason. And yet, you'll find yourself in that same "chaos" that you had 10 years prior.
Just a more special kind of chaos.
Next Week: High School Back Then
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This is an incredible post about a very special family room - what amazing memories x
ReplyDeleteI love this.
ReplyDeleteI've been on a sentimental rollercoaster lately and this just brought years to my eyes thinking of my very on memories with those I love most and how much, yet how little, things have changed.
ReplyDeleteAll of your posts are incredibly heartfelt. I don't think there's a single one that doesn't make me tear up or sit back and think. I thought for sure this topic wouldn't have an emotional tug for me. Hello someone I haven't met in person is writing about her parents dining room. But of course the magic way you tell your story, your emotions, your memories brought tears to my eyes and made me reflect on the memories of my own growing up journey. Love It.
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