A World You Can't Live Without

I was sitting on the couch with one of my best girl friends, catching up on our everyday life, when she proceeded to tell me, "I'm not sure if I ever want to have kids."

I had to stop midsentence when it finally registered to me what she had just said. Frozen for a brief moment. Lost my ability to speak. And stared at her for what seemed like forever. but was merely a few seconds. I wasn't sure what to say right away. I was taken back, stunned, and in a way, sad. Not because I thought that life could not be great or full of happiness without children, as I am fully aware plenty of people choose this path without regret and live great lives, however for me, it was because this was someone I cared deeply about. Someone that I grew up with. Loved. And most importantly, someone I always envisioned as a mother. From the day I met her A great mother, at that.

She just has had that about her.

And so, when I finally found the words, I began to attempt to explain to her the love of a child. To the best of my ability.

But how.

How do you tell her about the moment you saw that positive sign. How the first thing you did was place your hands on your belly and instantly felt like a mother.
How do you explain growing a baby inside of you. From the morning sickness, to the kicks, to the staying up all night in the last few weeks of pregnancy wondering when that day would come. To the unknown. What would life be like once they were born. What would the sacrifices be that you would have to make. How would your relationship with your husband hold up through all this. More importantly, what they would look like, and who they would remind you of.

How do you explain that moment when your child first makes his/her appearance. The flood of emotions. This powerful feeling that comes across you. Changes you, and the world around you.

How do you explain what its like to wake up every day with the excitement of seeing your child's face and hearing their voice. That no matter how often you were up the night before, no matter the lack of sleep, you still wake up feeling as though this is the greatest day in the world. Why? Because you have them.

The way they wrap their arms around you. The way they give you the slobbery kisses. The big hugs. And the first time they say I love you. Which always sounds so much sweeter with their soft tones and childish words.

How do you explain what it is like to have this responsibility of someone else's life.Not just physically, but all that comes with being a parent. To raise them to be strong, kind, independent individuals. To know the difference between right or wrong. To lend a hand to those in need. To be selfless. To dream.

How do you explain the ability to relive your birth story each time you celebrate their birth. That watching them grow is perhaps one of the greatest gifts in life. A gift that you know gets unwrapped year after year. Yet, one at the same time, that you wish so badly you could hold onto forever. Each stage, each milestone, each age that slips right on by. You want to have your child in each one of those years for the rest of your life.

How do you explain that moment when you watch your child learn. To take what you have taught them and apply it to the world around them. And the way their eyes light up when they discover new. Or even old. Just the way their eyes light up period. It's all you ever need in life.

How do you justify to her that the best show you had ever gone to was a cartoon live performance. How do you tell her that it was exactly how you would want to spend every Saturday evening, if given the chance. That anything that involves your family is by far greater than any gift or experience out there.

How do you fully explain the most incredible blessing in life. Something, someone that you are utterly proud of for every thing that they do. That you feel like you won the lottery, over and over again, every time you wake up to see their smiling face.

There truly are no words. No way to describing it. I could sit for days upon days trying to tell my friend how much love I have for my children, how your life truly begins when you become a mother, and how incredibly worthwhile and meaningful each day becomes after that.

But it still wouldn't be enough.

Not enough for her to understand what it's like. To convince her that she needs it in her life. Until that moment comes. When she becomes a mother. When she experiences all the firsts. When she sees herself in her children's eyes.

It's a remarkable thing. Being a parent. A gift, a blessing... the beginning of life. My life didn't truly begin until the day I became a mom. And that, that, I know I can say with 100% certainty.

But explaining the love for a child, from a child, by a child is nearly close to impossible.

How do you explain a life you never knew was missing until it began.
A kind of love you never knew existed until you heard the sound of your baby crying.

A world you didn't know you couldn't live without, until you started living in it.