So what are you hoping for?

8.13.12 

Oh the beloved controversial question that gets pregnant mamas out there all sorts fired up. A topic that no one every wants to publicly discuss. In fear of judgement. Fear of the remarks, the views, the opinions. Oh those harsh judgmental opinions. You see people ask the question... but rarely do they expect you to actually answer it honestly. What they expect you to say is, "a healthy baby."

Because how often do you hear about the mama who screams at the top of her lungs that she wants a boy boy boy. Or she's dreaming of all things girl. Oh no, those kind of thoughts absolutely do not exist.  Yet they do, trust me.

Back to the question. Forget already? What are you hoping for? 

Ah yes. That question. So now that I am very much showing, this is a topic that gets discussed on a daily basis. Just about. Family. Co-workers. The cashier at the grocery store. Everyone wants to know what you are hoping for. Especially if this is the second child. Especially when they see a blonde haired little princess at my side. "A girl. You must want a boy next."

You would think this would bother me? But it doesn't. You see... no one means any harm by these comments. They aren't saying that by you wanting one sex over the other that you will hate your child if they turn out the opposite. That if you want to have a boy, and turns out its a girl, then you are going to love that child any less. No. Absolutely not.

In fact, I'm going to say that is is perfectly normal. Whether you even realize it or not.

You see, this pregnancy I've been asked that question even more than the last. People are curious little bodies, you know it. And every time, I have answered around the lines of... "You know... I'd be really happy for both." And the truth of the matter? I would. I will.

Because the truth is.... I would love for Elliana to have a sister. I want her to grow up with someone that can be her best friend as they grow old together. And at the same time... how amazing it would be to have a boy. I want a boy sometime. Whether it is now or the next one. I just can't see my life without having a son.

And then there's this gut feeling. I had it with Elliana from the moment I saw that positive sign on the pee stick. I just knew. It was a girl. And so? My heart was set. I wanted a girl and I wanted it bad. So the day that I found out? Was a sigh of relief and confirmation.

This time? I didn't have a gut feeling until about the 3rd month. And all of a sudden... I just knew it was a boy. And so today is the day. The day... And I think... would I be disappointed if it turns out to be a girl?

Of course not! I'll be over the moon. Maybe because it's my second and I already have my girl. Maybe its because I already know the blessing a child brings into the home, and that the gender absolutely does not matter.

Either way? I think it's a boy. And if I'm wrong? I'll be happy. And if I'm right? I'll be happy.

Today.... I'll be happy.

Any last minute guess? Send them my way!