Friday, May 24, 2013

I am here. Sitting on the plane. Flying. I guess that's what planes do anyway. They fly. But it still seems a little unreal to me that I am doing this. Leaving my family that is. I know it shouldn't be a big deal. People do this every day. Travel. Leave behind their children. But for me, it all is so foreign. To me.  I am not one that can commit to things such as this simply because I cannot stand the idea of it all. Leaving. Even taking the smallest risk that something may happen to me. But I have left, so why talk about the leaving part any more. Because I am already there in that step of the process. I put my two feet forward, and I have left.

Okay, I won't keep talking about it. I'll talk about the fact that I am sitting on a plane. Surrounded by other people. I people watch. A little too much. I eaves drop on conversations. The girls talking about the wedding to come. The bride with her sash on is glowing with excitement that she is surrounded by her best friends and preparing for what will be one of the greatest weekends of her life. One of the girls talking about her son's first haircut. Showing off pictures on their phones. Other moms around me, it's nice to know I'm not alone.

I sat next to a couple. Around my parent's age if I had to guess. Well, I should say my mom's age since she is quite a bit older than my dad. Regardless, they are sweet. I knew they would be as soon as I saw them while walking down the plane aisle. You know, picking where to sit, and who to sit with, is yet another first for me. In fact, I don't remember the last time I traveled alone. If ever. Usually the only decision I have to make is whether I sit in the aisle or by the window. Never the middle. But wait, yes the middle, because Andrew hates the aisle. So naturally, I'm stuck next to the window. And by that I mean the middle.

But I'm by the aisle this time. And it's kind of nice.

Back to the couple. I'll call them mom and dad for writing purposes. Dad has his arm around her. She has her hand in his lap. It's so sweet I can't help but smile just thinking about it.

I hang up the phone with Andrew, tell Elliana how much I love her, the baby boy, and my husband, and then I'm off. The plane takes off and we make it okay, in that sense. Obviously, since I am here right now writing.

The mom mentions that her daughter {who is sitting behind her} is also leaving behind a little one. A one year old boy. She cried. I know that feeling all too well. So we talk briefly about our children and why we are going. I mention I am going for a bachelorette party. Mom made this a family trip and also brought her son and a bunch {8 or so} of his friends. They're all 21. The boys.

I smiled.

They were the boys that were standing in front of me at the check in. I overheard them talking about how this was going to be the time of their life. They didn't have any bags with them. But then again, why would that surprise me? They probably only packed a swimsuit and money. That's all you need when you're a guy right? Your friends and a good time. Girls are so different in that sense. I packed the largest suitcase. Too many outfits I couldn't choose from. Pairs of shoes I'll never wear. Enough swimsuits to last me all week. Yet, I'm going for two days.

But, I didn't mean to talk about baggage and how girls don't know how to pack. This girl doesn't know how to pack. What I wanted to mention about this is how when I saw these boys laughing and high fiving each other, the first thought that crossed my mind was my son. Like wow, Graham will be 21 one day. Graham will travel to vegas with his friends one day. Graham will grow up one day.

And I smiled.

And I told Mom this. How that thought crossed my mind when I saw the boys. And she smiled too. It goes by fast, she says. It does. I know it.

So that is where I am. Only 20 minutes into a flight with a lot of thoughts running through my head.

Thankfully this is a 4 hour flight. Which means a lot of writing {and blogging} will be done. Thankfully, finally.

It feels good to have this time to do it. To write. And people watch. And drink the free cranberry vodka because the credit card machines are down.

Vegas, here I come.


  1. This post totally made me tear up... I think the same things when I travel, when I people watch, and it makes me emotional. It's funny, we spend all this time watching our children grow yet sometimes we don't even see ourselves growing in the process. I know it's hard leaving your babies. Mine are older, 9 and 11, but they're my babies, of course. The first time my son went away to summer camp he was 9 and was staying overnight at camp for a week. I dropped him off and sobbed like I was leaving him at college. A friend told me that day that as much as my son was growing through that experience, I was growing as a parent too. A different perspective that gives you a little something to think about. Enjoy your weekend in Vegas!

  2. I just left my baby girl for the first time last weekend and flew to Memphis for a bridal shower. It was hard. And I missed her like CRAZY. But it was also so nice to get away and relax. Enjoy your time in Vegas. Sleep in!!! And the smiles and hugs you'll get from your babies when you return home will be priceless!

  3. Have a great trip!! You will be back home with your husband and babies before you know it :)

  4. Hope you have a blast. You deserve it!

  5. Agreed, Have so so so much fun!! You do deserve it!!


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