Tuesday, October 9, 2012

It doesnt seem real

The whole... I'm going to have another baby in a few months. The whole...I'll be a mama to two. The whole... I have to learn how to be a "boy mama."

It just all doesn't feel real.

You would think by now it would have sunk in. You know the moving around all the time. The heartbeat appointment after appointment. The ever so growing belly. The sweet ultrasound pictures. The fact that he likes to hang out down low in comparison to Elliana. The fact that I can feel every part of this pregnancy, muscle aches and all. Not to mention that I have now reached the Third Trimester.

You would think.

But I don't know... It just hasn't sunk in.

Maybe it's because we haven't put a name to the face yet. Hate to admit it, we haven't even really talked names since the day we found out it was a boy. Maybe it's because we haven't even started the nursery. Sure we have ordered certain things. Important things. But as far as painting and getting the million items of junk out of the room? Just hasn't happened. Maybe it's because my days are so busy chasing around a cute little toddler, getting the house in order, cooking and cleaning, maintaining my blog, and working 3 night shifts at the hospital. So much so, that the weeks flash right before my eyes and I often think that I'm not as far as long as I truly am.

Maybe,  it's because it just doesn't seem real. Something that I can't imagine. I can't picture. And a part of me thinks that I have a lot more time than I truly do.

But in reality, time is going by fast. August turns into September, September to October. And before you know it, it will be December. Which to me, is baby due month {at the end}... I hope.

In reality, we are going to have a fresh squishy little newborn that will resemble his big sister.
In reality, Elliana is going to be a big sister. 
In reality, we are going to have to learn how to juggle our time between two kids.
In reality, I am scared of how Elliana will react to less mama attention.
In reality, soon enough... we will be counting contractions, walking a lot, and wondering when the arrival will be.
In reality, I'm afraid I'm going to deliver my baby at home.

In reality? In all honesty?

It just doesn't seem real. Hello third trimester. Welcome. But? It still doesn't seem real.


  1. Tell me about it. 4 more weeks for me and sometimes I lstill look down at my belly and I'm like "where did this cone from?" It feels crazy because this was a surprise pregnancy. Layla was just 9 months when I conceived again. It's still sinking in.

  2. I felt the same way all throughout my second pregnancy! My son was 2 years and 2 weeks old when my daughter was born, he was and still is at almost 5 a total 'mama's boy' and he reacted just fine when his sister arrived. My daughter, Charlotte, was a great sleeper and often slept for 2-3 hours in the morning and even longer in the afternoons, so she gave me plenty of time to have one-on-one time with my son, Grant. Reality didn't really set in for me until we set the date for induction (I had gestational diabetes and she was happy-as-a-clam in my belly until we evicted her 4 days before her due date) and we were in the hospital and they broke my water. Four hours later my life was forever changed, for the better, and a new reality started to sink in. Being a Mama of 2 kiddos is amazing, and yes, very hard at times but as they get older, it gets a little easier and a lot more fun! My kiddos play surprisingly well together and are, in my opinion, each other's best friend (for now). We will be celebrating their 5th and 3rd Birthdays in the coming weeks and I STILL cannot believe how fast they are growing up, their Birth Days seem like yesterday and I always, always take time at their actual Birth minute to hug and kiss them and tell them how happy I am that they are my babies, just like I did when they were born and I saw their beautiful faces for the first time. You will be just fine, and in all honesty being a Mama of a boy won't be that different, at least right away, just be prepared to get peed on at almost every diaper change :) I always threw a wipe over his parts after I opened the dirty diaper, just in case :) Good luck and I can't wait to hear all about the birth of your SON!!! Also, good luck with his name, we had an awfully hard time choosing and agreeing on a boy name, my husband came up with Grant after I told him he needed to actually contribute a few options instead of shooting down the ones I suggested although, to be honest there weren't many boys names I REALLY liked so we quickly ran out of options! I still love, love, LOVE his name and it has always somehow just 'fit' him :) Anyway, sorry for the long comment!! Good luck and congrats!!!

  3. I'm 37 weeks and it STILL doesn't feel real. I can relate to all of the things you mentioned above. I'm sure reality will hit when the contractions start. LOL! I can't wait to meet our little men!

  4. I can so relate to this post. We have approx. 3 weeks left and it still doesn't feel real. We've got the crib up and everything ready, yet I can't bring myself to pack our bags!

    When we were pregnant with our second, I remembered being so worried about how we would split the time and the love between the two of them. But it just happened. My heart must have expanded and we took every opportunity to give our first born as much attention as possible. Which is easy to do especially when baby is napping or goes to bed earlier than the older ones. I'm sure you will have no trouble doing the same and be an amazing mommy of two little kiddos!

  5. E is going to be an amazing big sister and you? You're not going to have to 'learn' how to be a mama to a boy... believe it or not, once the little love is here, it's going to be so natural! Same with splitting your time time and attention between two... you just do, and you don't even question it.

    PS - get cracking on the crib! Because, well I want you to be ready, but really because I just want to see it!;)

  6. Hang in there...reality will be here before you know it. Enjoy your time with big sister.

  7. In Reality you are the cutest preggers momma EVER, that's no joke, pregnancy becomes you my friend! I had to laugh when you said you're gonna be a momma of a boy, because that whole diaper changing business gets a bit more tricky lol, and you get pee'd on a lot more so I've heard lol and you need to invest in a lot of Tom E Teepee's haha! Yes I had to go there, it was just to funny not to! You are an awesome momma, you will juggle your time, Elliana will help you out, you will have so much fun because you are made of awesome and girl the nursery will get done, the babes will have a name lol and your family will soon be four so don't you worry mmmmmmkay love ya!

  8. So you have totally rocked this girl mama things and I have NO doubt you'll rock the boy mama thing too! I cannot believe you're already on the brink of the third trimester, squee!!

  9. I felt the same way. It didn't sink in until our daughter actually arrived last month. Sometimes it still doesn't seem real. :)

  10. Totally relatable. At least you have had a child before, and semi know what to expect. This is my first, I am 32 weeks Thursday and I am freaking out, to say the least.

  11. My second pregnancy never felt real. It was a surprise pregnancy and it just went by SO fast. I finally realized it was really happening when I was in labor, haha.

  12. I felt the same way w/Baby #2. I also couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I was adding another baby, when Morgan was already MY WHOLE world (sound familiar?). How could I love another baby the same way or as much? It will be real after he is here and you will have to try hard to remember what life was even like before he arrived ;-)

  13. Ditto the whole post---but I'm going from two to three----what?!?!?! You will be amazed at how it all just works into place and you will forget what life was like with just one!


  14. Doesn't the second pregnancy fly by? Your sweet little boy will be in your arms so soon! :)

  15. Hi Becky!
    I am having a blog sale, and wanted to ask if you wouldnt mind retweeting it to help get me some traffic?

    let me know if you need the link
    Hope you are feeling well!!

  16. It's crazy that you're in the last trimester! :) How awesome!
    I'm at my due date -- today! -- and I can't believe my reality is that labor is coming! :O

  17. I feel like your pregnancy has FLOWN by!! Probably because like you said, you have been SO busy!!

    Get crackin' on that nursery mama!! I want to see it and you never know if he could come early!! Hopefully your hubby picks from 2 of the names you liked so you can share his beautiful name with us!! :)

  18. I am convinced this is absolutely normal pretty lady! I felt just like this when we got engaged, the day I got married and throughout my pregnancy and everything sunk at the very last moment (and sometimes not even then!)

    It is all a very surreal feeling but just know and have faith that everything is going to be okay. You are an amazing mom and your little man is going to be so loved and accepted by everyone.


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