Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Dogs and Babies don't mix

10.3.12
Written months back. 

At least mine don't. But again, they do. But then again, they don't. I think dogs complicate things. Or maybe it's the babies that complicate things. I think the whole situation is just pretty darn complicated and that's why I am forced to sit here and write about all this.

I've had this post on my mind for quite some time. I have had it written out in my head and the thoughts all jumbled around all over the place. Because I've been meaning to write it. Because I just KNOW that there is someone out there that gets me. That can understand where these thoughts and feelings are coming from. Surely. Right?

So heres the thing. My dog has been driving me completely insane since the day we brought Elliana home. I won't even sit here and try to vocalize how much that dog meant to me prior to E coming into the world. How much I swore that things wouldn't change. How, hold me, I couldn't even imagine loving anyone more than him. How back then people would say, "things do change," and my mouth would drop down to the floor... "Never" I would say.

Friends, "never" should never be a part of your vocabulary. Trust me.

Perhaps it's my fault. Perhaps I went wrong the day that I had picked him out, after all he squealed like a wild animal. Perhaps it's me and not him. This sounds like a relationship gone wrong.

I have a feeling that maybe we wouldn't be in this mess if we had chosen a "normal" dog. Whatever that means. A dog that wasn't a mix. A dog that wasn't a mix of boston terrier and BEAGLE. Beagles, I tell you. A species like none out there. He barks. And he yelps. And he has high anxiety {like heart-attack ready anxiety}. Attachment issues. Social issues. Pukes every day. Will pee randomly. Just plain issues.

He's like taking care of 2 additional children when we have guests over. I have to literally sit there with him and hold him so he doesn't go jump on our guests and think that we are an insane household, which I'm sure they already think so. For one hour. One hour. And during that whole hour? His heart is racing at 150+ a minute. He is shaking. He is whimpering. It's absolutely pathetic.

Not to mention I have a toddler who still needs my attention. So try wrangling that mess... every day... it's quite the site I tell you. I definitely look like a hot mess at times.

One time I took him out to pee. On a leash. While having Elliana out with me. Nowhere far, just in our front yard. He's tugging at me like he is a 200 pound dog in the opposite direction of my toddler who at this time decided the street looked like a great idea and sprinted right to it. So while I'm trying to chase after her, 20 weeks pregnant, the dog wants to tug me the other direction. He's 20 pounds! But he sure can pull. So I end up falling in order to catch my daughte who also ends up falling because that was the only way for me to stop her from going in the road where the cars were coming.

And that was it. I had had enough. I took him inside, picked up the phone, and called the husband.

"We need to get rid of him. Now."

The problem is, this wasn't the first phone call that Andrew has received from me with that same exact conversation. In fact, it's one we have had multiple times. Sometimes, it's him initiating it. And somehow, day after day, we put up with it and go on.

Our other problem is that Elliana is completely and utterly in love with this human. Which I have mixed emotions about. Part of me is upset because I don't want her to get too attached just in case we did end up finding him a new home. And the other part of me is happy that there is still one person left in this household that still loves him. And also? He adores her. And he's good to her. And he lets her pull his ears and grab his legs... and even... steal his food.

At the end of the day, somewhere deep deep down inside of me in some far far away place I have a loving spot for this animal. I remember the times that he made me feel complete. That I would get excited to see him after being gone for two hours. That the little things that bug me now I could push aside and forget.

At the end of the day, yes these are just all frustrations that I'm writing down and the yes he does belong in our family.

At the end of the day, I just know that there would be a part of us missing if he left our family. And although I don't like how much he complicates our lives, I think that no one else could possibly love his dysfunctional self the way we do.

See what I mean? Dogs are complicated. MY dog is complicated.

He needs to go see a therapist. And get drugs. Anyone know where I can get one or the other?Preferably both.

On second thought, I think the two of us need to go to a therapist together and hash it out. Do such things exist? It sure would help. Now. If only I could teach him to speak English.

**And if you can't find the humor in this post, or say anything positive, please don't say anything at all. We have no intention of getting rid of our dog, however please don't judge those that have.**

62 comments:

  1. I know exactly where you are coming from! We have a border collie mix she was fine just herself then Breanna came home and now she is spastic, constant barking, anxieties like woah and when ppl come over...lets not even go there (she doesnt bite or anything just a major spazoid

    Some days I want to take her and just give her to someone who doesn't have kids or other animals but then I would miss the heck out of her!

    So we are in the same boat!

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  2. I understand 100%. I love Lola, but the thought of getting rid of her has definitely crossed my mind because of the trouble she causes. She's a nipper too which adds to my anxiety of having her. Ethan thinks growling is cute so I can't even count how many times I've had to literally sprint into a room to make sure everyone is behaving. It's ridiculous. I never thought I"d feel this way. I keep waiting to see how number 2 goes, but my patience is getting short.

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  3. I hear ya! Our Jack Russell can be an absolute pain in the ass with Everleigh! I often feel bad when we have to put her in her crate when we have company over, especially baby company, but it has to be done. I have friends who got rid of their Labradoodle after the 2nd baby arrived because it just wasn't fair. She wasn't getting enough attention and love, and there had to be somewhere better for her! Hope you figure it out :)

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  4. Thank you so much for this post! I love my dog to death and was the same way as you, I couldn't imagine loving anything more, than I had 2 daughters. They both adore him but he can get on my nerves sometimes. He's a weimaraner so he's extremely energetic, what can I tell you his eyes got me. I can't ever imagine getting rid of him but some days he's crazy.

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  5. I know exactly what you mean. We have a 100+ pound German Shepherd! Since having the kids I can not stand that dog. My daughter though loves him and they chase and play with each other. It's his only saving grace right now.

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  6. I think our college stories are the same. I also was at Purdue and had a puppy (lived in those CRAAAAAPY apartments right behind the Cactus). Most anxiety ridden dog, EVER. Loved him to pieces. Now, he gets these seizure type episodes from anxiety and is on anxiety meds. Hates our baby, but doesn't hurt him. We have another dog that is 150+ pounds and loves the baby. He keeps the older dog less anxious and more playful. I love my pups but sometimes life would be easier without them.

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  7. I think our college stories are the same. I also was at Purdue and had a puppy (lived in those CRAAAAAPY apartments right behind the Cactus). Most anxiety ridden dog, EVER. Loved him to pieces. Now, he gets these seizure type episodes from anxiety and is on anxiety meds. Hates our baby, but doesn't hurt him. We have another dog that is 150+ pounds and loves the baby. He keeps the older dog less anxious and more playful. I love my pups but sometimes life would be easier without them.

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  8. OMG our dog is also the devil! An 80lb devil! He sounds the same as Carson, the hyper, excitedness! I want to get rid of him ALL THE TIME, especially when he poops and pees inside!:(:(:( But I just know how much Jordan loves him and also the boys love him so he can stay!! bahaha!!! You guys can work it out mama! xo

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  9. Been there...done that. 3 months ago.

    In addition to being a pain in the u-know-what, there's always the possibility lurking that the dog could react to the child/baby, if provoked. (People who say "My dog would NEVER do anything to hurt my baby" don't understand how dogs are wired...I believed ours never would either).

    Long story short, our dog DID do something to our baby and we sent the dog to live with Grandma. It wasn't vicious - it was an accident - and they happen. I don't regret it one bit. I still get to see her and we love on her every chance we get, but it's just better for everyone this way. Is that a possibility for you? Find a temporary home until, say, the kids are a bit older and safety is no longer an issue AND they could help with the dog?

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  10. There are actually dog whispers/therapists, and drugs they can take. My in-laws had a high anxiety dog that would FREAK OUT when there was loud noises, all 100 pounds of him. He had anxiety meds (that didn't do shit during a thunderstorm or loud base playing from the neighbours).

    This is why we chose to find our cat a new home, because she was VERY much like a dog. She'd attack strangers and the kid. She was miserable in a household with children, and we were tired of cleaning up cat poop and pee when she had one of her pissed off episodes and "got back" at us by going in Nolan's bed. IN HIS BED. Yeah.

    I feel ya. Sketch now has a really happy home, where's she's the only "child". We still miss her but we know we made the right decision.

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  11. It makes me very sad when people have children and give up their animals. The animal should have never been adopted/purchased in the first place then. Adopting an animal is for life, well the life of the animal. It's a commitment. Dogs have feelings too.

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  12. I know how you feel. We don't have kids in the mix yet but I can only imagine. Our dog is an Australian Shepherd. Can you say FULL OF ENERGY. We have to hold him down when people come over, he tries to jump on them, we know its because he is excited but he's 60 lbs .. and it hurts! He will try and sneak out the door when we are taking the trash out, or getting the mail. He pulls in the other direction when we have him outside, and he's strong! He barks all the time. And on top of it all I'm terribly allergic to him. To the point where I have a hard time breathing. But, he is like Tyler's best friend, so I'm torn. I know finding him a new home will be best for my health, but it will also force me to see Tyler very upset .. and so we're stuck.

    We always have the conversation "we need to find him a new home" and then the next day we suck it up and ignore it and move on. SIGH :(

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  13. I have had a dog since I was in diapers. I was raised around dogs. I also now have a beagle. And I'm pregnant. I knew when I bought him seven years ago that I would start a family in his lifetime. I would have NEVER considered getting a dog if I knew at some point in the future that I would have to give him up. My beagle is part of our family...regardless of his issues... "He barks. And he yelps. And he has high anxiety. Attachment issues. Social issues. Just plain issues" like you say.

    This post breaks my heart. It is so easy for people to give up on animals because they are just "animals" to them. I understand that your child is your #1 priority (as will mine be when he is born later this year) but I can promise you that I will never give up my dog. Is he a pain the neck sometimes? Certainly. But he is part of my family and I just don't give up on family.

    I'm not posting this to bash you or your choices. It is your home and your life, and I totally respect that. I just wish you would have thought about the consequences of having a dog and a family. I hope that if you do decide to give up on him, he goes to a loving family that will take very good care of him. Regardless of his "issues".

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  14. I hear about this more and more and while its ultimately the decision of the owner, I can say that its all an adjustment period for everyone involved and who knows, maybe it will work out in the end. I do know there are doggie therapists and whisperers that help so maybe look into that before you decide to find him a new forever home.

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  15. Well I can speak from the other side of this because I'm one of the horrible ones that did in fact get rid of my dog. We had him for a couple of years pre-kids and he was our world. My (now ex) husband worked outside and brought Luke (the dog-basset hound) to work with him everyday and it worked out so well. Then we had kids and the husband got a better job, indoors, so Luke had to be home all day. That was a tough adjustment. With our first kid he was great... he slept underneath his crib and just loved on him. Then we had our daughter and that's when Luke started peeing... everywhere... all over the house. There was nothing physically wrong with him... we had him checked numerous times... he was jealous and territorial. So that wasn't fun, obviously. It was around that same time that we learned our son's dark circles under his eyes, trouble breathing, and constant exhaustion was because of allergies... to dogs :( Through many, MANY tears we made the decision to give him to a family friend who had dog-sat Luke for us a few times when we'd gone on vacation... we had no choice. They adored him and I knew he was in great hands, but it wasn't easy. I still think of him all the time and my heart hurts I miss him so much. I know that I'll never have a dog again and I'm completely fine with that, but gosh I still love that dog immensely. Anyways, sorry to spew my story on your post, it just hit home.

    You're not alone when it comes to the dogs and babies issue and no matter how much we love our pets and have the best intentions, sometimes it doesn't work out for whatever reason. I don't think it makes us bad people... just an unfortunate situation.

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  16. http://www.insearchofsunshine.com/2012/10/things-ive-learned-about-raising-puppy.html

    Thats all I gotta say!

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  17. I feel your pain! Our 6 (yes, SIX) pound Yorkie completely ruled the roost before my son came along. Same kinds of Anxiety symptoms, probably worse. After we came home with my son, things were so bad my husband actually had to live downstairs with the dog, while I lived upstairs with the baby for half my maternity leave! Finally enough was enough, and we took her to a doggy therapist and she is now on two different medications. Since letting the medications settle in with her for about 6-8 weeks, she has been MUCH better, and my son absolutely adores her! Some people think negatively about medicating the dog, but she is still our same ol dog that gets hyper, barks, etc., but she is a lot calmer than she used to be!

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  18. You are definitely not alone! We rescued a pit mix a month after we lost our AMAZING dog, Trigger, a little over a year ago. I have to tell myself that this is just as much a responsibility as my babies, and that if we need to get training, we will. I remember how Trigger used to drive us nuts. We couldn't have house guests without putting him upstairs first, no walks with a stroller and hubby because he would want to kill anyone within 5 feet of us. I would give ANYTHING to have that back. Our rescue is great, don't get me wrong, just a nut. Have you tried obedience classes? Also they do have medication for seperation anxiety, I would talk to your vet! I know how you feel though and you will do whatever is best for your family!

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  19. You and I are so the exact same person (when it comes to our dogs). I loved my dog to death, couldn't imagine replacing him with anybody, EVER...then Austin finally came home. Remember he was in the NICU for 5 months. And now my dog is a total nut case, loud, freaks out at the smallest pop or boom. We have to drug him on new years and 4th of July or we would have no furniture or bedding left. The week before 4th of July is a nightmare. And don't even get me started on thunderstorms it's pure torture. Luckily he is tolerable of our son, but I don't know how he will be When Austin is able to crawl or walk (when that day comes) He had best be on his best behavior or he will never ever be allowed in the house ever again.

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  20. Totally and completely in the same boat!!! Glad to know I'm not alone.

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    1. Might I add- like you- we talk about getting rid of our dog but we know we wouldn't actually follow through on it. We realize that we made the commitment to him and that he is ours for the rest of his life. (Unless he would ever actually get aggressive, etc. which he never does.) People who haven't had human children yet don't get it. My dog was totally my baby until I had a human one. I think it's a normal transition and it is natural and right for the family hierarchy to change- the human child should take priority over the dog. I think my dog has adjusted just fine to this as well. It's just that babies/little kids are full time jobs and I have less tolerance for accidents and copious amounts of shedding (which I realize isn't in his control) with a baby who is all over the floor. I get ya- and it doesn't make you an awful person. I think it makes you a rather normal one. ;)

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  21. I hear ya! Colby was our baby, until we had a non fur baby and now he makes me nuts the majority of the time!

    Colby and Caleb have a love/hate brotherly relationship that is sweet and annoying all at the same time.

    As crazy as he sometimes makes me I vowed never to be a person that got rid of the dog when the baby came! So I give him extra love after Caleb goes to bed :-)

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  22. We don't have kids yet, but I do worry about how our dog will adjust. However, I do know that there is no getting rid of her. My husband loves her too much and after seeing the shelter from which she came, my heart couldn't take it. I'm praying it will be a smooth transition for us when we do have kids!

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  23. i am praying that when we have children that our dog Izy doesn't turn all crazy. it is something i think about often because although i love my dog so much, i know that if she didn't transition well with a baby we would have to give her away. just the thought alone makes me sad.

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  24. My husband and I (shamefully) discussed this issue last night. Since our little guy has come along the dog has definitely become "the dog" (vs our child). He's a boxer so he's super hyper and often times annoying. Although we both admitted to "thinking" about finding a new home for him, we both know we could NEVER do it. We're both animal lovers and at the end of the day we still LOVE our dog. He's part of the family. We may not always 'like' him but we're going to keep loving him.

    With us the biggest issue is the amount of exercise he needs to stay "sane" is outrageous. We both work FT and we don't always have the time for a 2 hour walk. So, we hired a dog walker on certain days to lighten the load a little bit. He's much happier and not as crazy when we're home and it frees up time to devote to our little guy when we are at home. Its a win win for all of us.
    P.S. Sorry for the ramble.

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  26. What a sad situation! I'm a dog lover, but I absolutely understand that your child MUST come first. In a perfect world babies and pets would always mesh and get along but it's not always the case! Hopefully if you do decide to give him up he'll have a loving home and you'll know you did what is best for your family.

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  27. Seriously, I have the same frustration when it comes to our boxer. She is obnoxious! You would think that since she is 8 yrs old that she would have calmed down by now, but nope. She's still a psycho. When we hosted small group...oh buddy...it was terrible. But, just like you, my kids ADORE her and them her. She was our "first born" and I just can't seem to think about how much we would miss her if we didn't have her. But totally feel ya sister!

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  28. This made me laugh simply because my dog is a BEAGLE terrier mix as well so I totally feel your pain. And she is such an attention hog, seriously. It's pathetic how much attention she is constantly whining for lol If you find that therapist (and drugs) let me know!
    -Melissa
    http://revisionmakesperfect.blogspot.com

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  29. I saw your title and knew I had to read this post! I have 4 dogs. FOUR. (that's what happens when you volunteer in animal rescue) I love them all dearly & we would never consider getting rid of them, but we do have our moments.

    One is a beagle terrier mix and I totally understand your pain. We love her to death but like you said, totally obnoxious. & I don't understand how any one dog can shed so much. I mean seriously, she should be bald by now.

    And about the doggie meds... one of my chi's is a total psycho... Scared of her own shadow crazy. Our vet prescribed her doggie xanax LOL we only use it once in a while, but it seems to help :)

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  31. I'm currently 18 weeks pregnant and often worry about how our two pups (a lab, and a puggle) will adjust once baby is home. For me, right now, getting rid of them seems impossible, but ask me again in 6 months when i have a screaming new born and two crazy dogs :) But i agree...if you have to let him go, PLEASE make sure he goes to a good home and not a shelter!

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  32. I think part of the difficulty comes when your dog is your baby before the baby comes along. We are certainly guilty of that, but it's not what a dog actually needs. I'd suggest watching a bunch of the dog whisperer and reading his books. Above all, dogs need exercise-and beagles in particular. Those dogs are bred to run! Our dog is a mutt with a bit of beagle and I know he's so much more balanced with exercise. Do y'all have a treadmill? Cesar uses this technique a lot for people who simply cannot walk their dogs often enough-we can't. We also recently fenced in our yar and it's a huge help. It doesn't count as his exercise, because it's not focused, but it does get him out of my hair when I need a break-and means I don't have to take him on a leash when I have the little one and he needs to potty. I'd also recommend a gentle leader. Our dog is such a puller and it has made walks a million times easier because he can't pull with it. It looks a bit like a muzzle and that sometimes turns people off, but it isn't and doesn't seem to bother him. It also calms him down tremendously when he is acting spastic. The psychology behind them is really interesting and based on how dogs operate in packs in the wild. Finally, my mom had a lot of success with these pharamone plug in things. They look like glad plug ins, but they emit pheromones that dogs can smell-to humans they have no odor. The pheromones are comforting to the animals because they remind them of their nursing mothers. It's amazing how much those little things calmed her dog down when he went through a time of high anxiety.

    I hope you don't give your dog up. Though I can certainly understand the need to vet. You're all he has. It's definitely worth trying some alternatives. I think they can really help.

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  33. We have been through the same thing. My cocker spaniel was my baby since my 18th birthday when I got her. She is very sweet and loves my son but he has always stressed her out. She is now 12 years old with a long list of health problems that just seem to get even worse as the days pass. I worked through all of her craziness issues for the last 12 years and now that the time is approaching that we take her out of her misery and lay her to rest... I just cant imagine life without her. It's so hard!

    All of these stories should be lessons to those with kids who do not have dogs... wait until your kids are alot older before you buy one.

    Also, I say if you can find a loving family to adopt your little dog then go for it. I'm sure your dog will be less stressed in a house without young kids... I know my dog would but now she is too old/sick to adopt out to anyone.

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  34. I don't have kids yet but I know so many people who say the same thing that you just said! Right now I love my little pup but I know he'll more than likely be placed on the back burner wants I have a little one! I know that has to be so stressful on you! I hope you guys are able to make the best decision for you and your family!

    xo

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  36. We got a puppy right before we found out I was pregnant. He was the devil. Seriously. We had a friend house sit while we were on vacation and she hated it. He was horrible. We paid for training but nothing helped. He was super aggressive towards me and there was NO way in hell I was going to have that dog around my baby when she was born. So we found him a good home with a friend of the family. Human children come first. Period. If people don't want to put their children first then maybe they should have thought harder about expanding their family.

    I have no desire to have pets (other than fish lol) ever again. I am not as sentimental about pets as everyone else. We had cats that peed everywhere for no reason. I didn't pee in their litter box so I expected them not to pee in my house ;) So they got the boot. Call me what you want, but I am not going to have an animal destroy my house. Regardless of what everyone else says you have to do whats best for YOUR family. And no one else can make that decision for you. I don't fault you for contemplating giving your dog away to a good home.

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  37. I don't have my own dog, but my parent's do and my hubby can't stand being around her and doesn't like my son near her either (hubby has allergies and just doesn't like animals). It makes me so sad that he's like that, but you can't change a person. But because of this, I have thought several times that it was better if maybe we didn't have her. But then I think about how amazing she is and how much she adores me and the thought of my name makes her tail wags. I can't imagine her not being a part of our family. So, in the end, my husband has to deal with the dog, and I have to deal with the fact my son can't be as close to her as I would like him to be. I also feel bad that I don't spend as much time with her, but that's just reality. I also read your other post about people's opinions. In my opinion, people leave opinions that can be supporting your argument or completely against it, but I don't think they are doing it in an ill-spirited way. In your blog you express a lot of thoughts and I think your readers feel they are connected with you and think they can say stuff and it won't offend you (like how friends express their opinions). That's my thinking on it. Have a good one :)

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  38. I can totally understand your frustration. Until July I had two kids and two dogs. Exhausting does not even begin to cover it. Especially with my 4 year old bulldog. I loved him with every fiber I had, but it was like having a third child sometimes. I often would yell to my husband to get rid of him, though I was never serious and would shower him in kisses later.

    I would think really hard before you give him up though because my bulldog Braddock passed away this summer quite suddenly and losing him has just wrecked my world. I'd just hate to see you give him away, and then regret it.

    My sister's beagle is on Prozac...and it has made a world of difference. You could ask your vet about that

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  39. People dont understand how it is to have a dog and then kids. Until you have a dog and then a baby you really shouldnt talk about how you "will NEVER get rid of your dog." I have a 5 yr old boxer who is naturally really calm and loves our daughter. But when she wants attention and I cant give it to her then its annoying. It is hard to think about how your puppy was your life and then a new love comes along, a love like to other. I love my dog and hope that I never have to get rid of her but when it comes to my child or the dog the child will always win. People really need to keep their rude comments to themself, especially if you have a dog and no kids. Wait until it happens to you and then you will understand. You have to do what is right for you and your family.
    http://firstcamethebaby.blogspot.com/

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  40. We have a beagle mix, as well, but she's female. And everything that you described is so POINT ON! She drives me bat shit crazy on the daily, but again, she's amazing with my 15 month old son, so it's a catch 22.

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  41. Oh, Becky.. I've been there.. in fact I wrote a similar post. I love love loveeee our pup and don't think I would ever actually give her away, but the thought has crossed my mind in those insane moments when she shits on the rug while the toddler is having a meltdown and you're simultaneously nursing the baby. I rarely even walk all three of them (toddler, baby, dog) together when I'm alone because it's just asking for crazy. I hope things get better and work out for you and your family sake!!

    Also, I love how all the people who commented, "I would NEVERRR get rid of my dog, ever ever!!!!" Don't actually have kids yet ;)

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  42. My dogs drive me bat shit crazy. But alas, they wouldn't hurt a fly and they USUALLY listen. P is a little rough on them (we are always working on the word gentle around here) and they take it and love her to pieces.

    That being said, if one of them bit P they'd be out the door in a heartbeat. I can't imagine what she could possibly do that she hasnt already done to them that would make them snap.

    Have you thought about going to dog school? Our oldest dog went and it really helped him.

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  43. My husband and I have two dogs, no kids {yet} & just like you were, pre-E, they are my babies right now. I do worry, every single day, about how we will handle them along with a child. It makes me sad to think that one day I will possibly, have to consider giving up my dogs. I just pray that they adjust well {both complete attention hogs} & that thought never has to come up but at the same time, if it does, I would hope that I could be as honest with myself as you are and realize that maybe they just don't mix. I don't see anything wrong with this consideration, no one can predict the future, things happen, we just have to all deal with them in our own ways.

    <3 Melissa

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  44. Completely understand although currently it is our cat. He drives me bonkers with his mood swings and peeing on the dog bed. It would just be easier if he wasn't around but then I would cry and cry once he's gone.

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  45. I could've written this post!!! It's actually on my list of things to write about! Our fur-baby quickly became "just a dog". I feel bad for her because I know she's just being a dog, it's not like she's necessarily bad it's just the fact that babies and dogs are hard. And SO annoying!!!!! :) Deep down I don't think we could ever get rid of Roxie either, and if we did it would most likely be to family or someone we know, but it has crossed my mind many many times. And now, of course, her and Adalyn absolutely love each other...it's her only saving grace right now!

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  46. We are concerned about our cat with the new arrival because she is SUCH a snuggler. I don't want her to get too close to the baby.

    It broke my heart to send her to Tyler's parent's house, but we'll get her back in a few months when the baby can fend her off on her own. Maybe if you can give your doggy to the in-laws for a short while and bring the babies around to have him re-familiarize himself with them prior to moving home, there won't be any issues??

    Good luck, Becky!

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  47. Our dog got 100x more crazy when the baby came. He's a border collie, which means high-strung, high-energy, needs to be exercised but we don't have the time. It's been tough with him when she's around.

    I came across a quote one day that sums it up: Once you have kids, the dog is just a dog again.

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  48. This is actually something I'm worried about with our upcoming delivery of our first baby. We have two dogs: one of which I've had since he was 8 weeks old (He's 8 now) and the second is a 9 year old beagle mix we adopted 2 years ago. Turns out the beagle mix is a nut job. I'm afraid of what she'll do to the baby.
    Luckily the one I've had since he was a puppy is an angel. I'm not worried about him at all. But i am worried I'll "Love" him less once I have a real baby.

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  49. We got our dog as a puppy when I was pregnant and I was so worried she wouldn't be good with the baby especially being just a puppy but very thankfully she is awesome with the baby and has been since day 1. We call her mama Mox because she is so protective and loving towards our son. If anyone ever tried to hurt him she would tear their head off and she's only a 10 pound dashchund. Even when he tugs her tail or tries to take her toys she's great with him. I think a lot has to do with the breed and if it's male or female. Females seems to do better with kids, maternal instinct I guess.

    With that said if she or our cat ever hurt our child we would find another loving home for them because our child comes above all else.

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  50. Im not an animal person or a kid person so I completely dont understand nor will I pretend to. BUT I am a believer in doing what is best for YOUR situation so I cant for the life of me understand why anyone who isnt you or your husband or in your house would or could understand. You do what you need to do for you and your family and pardon my tact but screw what anyone else thinks. <3

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  51. I'm so with ya. In fact, I've spoken those same words to my husband. The pups definitely complicate things once a baby comes along. We have a puggle and a lab and there is usually at least one point in each day I'm all done with them! Whether it's barking and waking the baby or digging up the newly planted flowers...they drive me nuts. But at the same time, they still have that unconditional love. Seeing how excited the baby gets to see them each morning warms my heart and I really couldn't imagine our family without them. Being a mama is hard work!

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  52. Becky,
    My sweet, beautiful bloggy friend Becky, honey so many people have been there girl. I have been there but with a cat. You see we had a cat named Nikki, yes after Motley Crue's Nikki Six lol, the hubs always wanted his own cat to have and name and Nikki was a rescue kitty and solid black, um maybe that should have been are warning lol, see I get your humor I have it too! Anywho Nikki was our baby, through all the miscarriages, Nikki ended up being my kitty ha! He would snuggle with me, be there when the tears would flow, lay with me, etc. We loved Nikki! We also have to other cats besides him. During my pregnancy Nikki was my buddy, he would always lay beside me, be there while on bed rest etc., then as I was not able to do as much with him we noticed he was a terror. He always had been, but it was way more noticable. He started to act out. I didn't even know cats could do that. He would deliberatly pee or poo outside litter box which the hubs had to clean since I was preggers and we were not gonna risk toxioplasmosis etc. He was in to everything, jumping on everything, knocking over everything, etc., the hubs had had it with him. I loved him so much, so did the hubs I couldn't bare it. So I ignored his crazy, the day I had to have an emergency C-Section Nikki was acting strangely and the hubs had to take him to the vet bless him he had a urinary tract infection. Then the hubs rushed to my side. That is how much we loved Nikki. After Kelcee was born, Nikki started showing signs of jealousy. He couldn't bare not getting a lot of attention and with a premiee with jaundice it was hard to give him that attention. So he lashed out. He was destroying everything. Then came the day, the day that I really meant he had to go. You see Nikki got up on the counter and chewed the formula can lid. It freaked me out. I wasn't sure it was him, but pretty sure. That same day as I was feeding our precious Kelcee a bottle Nikki jumped up sat beside me then lunged as if he was gonna try to lick her mouth. He made this funny sound mouth open and I realized he could be that cat, the one that could suffocate our baby to lick milk off of her. I couldn't bare the thought, I called the hubs and Nikki had to go, that day, I couldn't sleep if he didn't. It broke our hearts to let him go, but this is our baby and no way would we put her in harms way. It was hard to let Nikki go but it was the best decision. He was that cat, the one that would have probably jumped in her crib. So we made that decision and it was the best for us. I see where you are coming from and I admire you for writing this although our cat wasn't a dog it's basically the same. I know how much you love your doggy, but you love your babies and you want to protect them. So if it is best that you have to say good bye to your pup, I for one know how much you love him and how hurt you will be and that you are making the right decision for you and your family. I'm sorry he caused you to fall and Elli to that's scary stuff. Also with a newborn on the way he may get even more so of a handful. You can try puppy training classes that may help. love ya girl
    Sums

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  53. I have worried about this recently...as we have THREE 80 pound dogs and a baby on the way. I hope that they adjust well and everything goes smoothly, but I'm not naive enough to say that I would "never give up my dogs." If any of my dogs ever showed any aggression towards our little girl, they would be gone in two seconds. End of story. And just because you give them up, doesn't mean they don't still go to a loving home. It's not like you said you were going to drop them off on the side of the road and run away.

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  54. You need The DOG WHISPERER! Cesar Millan rocks! Watch his show a couple of times and you and your dog will mesh like PB&J.

    I put our dog on a treadmill. It drains his energy. It's great.

    Good luck.

    Karina

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  55. Good lord, it sounds like your dog and my dog should hang out. Or not, to avoid them being a bad influence on one another. We have a Brittany (aka, super high strung, neurotic, crazy energy). I realize that his problems are our fault - he should be running in a field hunting birds for 10 hours a day, not being cooped up in our house, getting ignored.

    He was our first baby - I always swore I'd never be one of those people that gave up their dog when they had kids - because dogs are kids too, right? But UGH, the thought has crossed my mind 8 million times since Ben was born. My husband would get rid of the dog in a heartbeat, but I just feel horrible when I think about it (despite the fact that our dog would probably be happier elsewhere). He's a sweetheart, but seriously, the biggest pain in the ass in the world. I'm talking pee on our couch, pee in our bed, poop on the floor then eat it then barf then repeat, pain in the ass. But he's stinkin adorable at the same time, and really tolerant of Benjamin.

    So, in short (in long?) I FEEL YA! Who knows what will happen with our dog in the future, but I feel your pain - it's a really hard position to be in! I would be thinking the same things as you if I were in your position!

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  56. I COMPLETLY understand this post!! I have two - yes, two Im insane- pug and beagle mixes who I adored more than life itself before Grayson came along. Now there are days I would but them both on the sidewalk with a free to good home sign. Then I realize, I wouldnt know how to function as our family without them. I wouldnt mind, however, if the powers that be could take away the bark that only seems to happen as SOON as the man child goes down for a nap!

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  57. I know this is late & there are a trillion comments, so someone may have mentioned this, buuuuuuut...
    I have an incredibly difficult dog (who is also the love of my life). She's Australian Cattledog & Pitbull mix. She is a 40 pound ball of never ending energy who is way to strong for her own good. She barks at the doorbell on TV, she jumps on everyone & she even nipped at my daughter's face. Now, to all those who just spit out their coffee & gasped...the two were wrestling with a blanket & my daughter tried to suggle it close to hr face while the dog went for it. It wasn't anger or violence, it was siblings (my daughter totally refers to our dogs are sibling) playing & one got slightly hurt. I have said about a thousand times that we will have no choice to get rid of her. About a year ago we moved 3 states away & my family of 3+ 2 dogs were staying in a hotel room for 2 weeks. I was ready to open the door & let her run. We were given no choice but to send her to doggy boot camp. She was put in a training program for 2 weeks. Holy miracle, Batman! The trainer was awesome & we didn't pick up a perfect pup after the 2 weeks, but we got a very good understanding of why she was acting the way she was & what we needed to do to help her. That understanding alone has worked wonders. I look at her now, and I can't imagine not having her here. Yes, she's still FULL of energy. Yes, she still attempts to jump, but listens much better. She is a part of our disfunctional family & we love it.
    So sorry you're going through this, but I can attest you are not alone. Makes me mad to hear people are giving you grief about it too. Everyone is different & what works for one family may not work for another, but I just wanted to share what worked for us. Hope it all works out for y'all. : )

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  58. I volunteer for a Shiba Inu and Shiba Inu mix rescue and have one of my own. They are difficult dogs and I have learned a lot from working with them in the past couple years.

    For the pulling that caused you to fall, have you tried an Easy Walk harness? The leash will attach in front of the dog's chest, so if he pulls, he will just make himself go sideways. That should get him to pull less.

    For anxiety, is he crate trained? Crates are not for every dog, and most don't like it at first, but it plays on their den instinct and can establish a really secure spot for them to hang out when you're not home or even if you just need them out of your hair for awhile. I have also heard the Thunder Shirt is a good solution for anxiety. There are also homeopathic methods and drugs that may help as a last resort.

    Most importantly, if you can take a class at PetSmart or Petco on the all positive method (diametrically opposed to much traditional thinking as well as opposed to Cesar Millan's use of fear as a motivator for good behavior, which can cause other unwanted behaviors as well as a rift between you and your dog), and if you and your family can commit the time to training, it may solve A LOT of your issues.

    Sorry if any of this is redundant or old news -- good luck! :)

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  59. Thank you so much for writing this post, and for making me feel like I am not alone. I too describe my relationship with my 6 year old Maltipoo as "complicated". Yesterday, he dug under our fence and ran away... twice. It makes me so upset because not only am I unhappy with how things are between us, but it's obvious that he is as well. He is being taken care of (fed, bathed, groomed, walked), but after the birth of our second son 11 weeks ago, he has become more of a chore than a member of our family. I could never have imagined we'd be in this place when we adopted him.

    My husband and I have had serious talks about giving him up, but always come back to, "we committed to this responsibility, we need to deal with it". But I feel our dog deserves more than just being "dealt with", so in the end, none of us win. It really is a sad situation.

    I am sorry that you received negative feedback, but you have obviously touched so many people (from all the "me too" comments!) From one heartbroken dog mommy to another, I hope you find a solution that makes your whole family happy.

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  60. I would love to win this for my yorkiepoo Lucky. He is forever snuggling under our blankets

    sibabe64 at ptd dot net
    English Bulldog Puppies for sale

    ReplyDelete

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