The Attachment Phase

10.16.12

post sitting in draft...written about 3 months ago....

You know, I don't read any of those What moms need to know about babies books, as I like to think that I have this mom thing covered and my gut instinct {and google} have yet to fail me.
But I do vaguely remember learning a thing or two in my pediatrician course in nursing school.
In fact, more than just a thing or two.

And one thing I remember clearly is learning about the attachment phase.
The attachment phase where the child wants nothing to do with anyone but his mommy and daddy. His/her mama and papa. Specifically, her mama.

They say it happens around the age of 8-9 months.
And you better believe that around the time that Elliana turned eight months old, we experienced what one would call... the attachment phase.

Mama this. Mama that. Must have mama in room at all times. Must have sight of her. No one else could hold me but her. Everyone else was a complete stranger, even grandma and grandpa. And that was that.

It probably lasted a month and a half and once it passed.... it passed. But never completely.

Well. Then Elliana turned... 14-15 months old. And now? Since then.... we are getting experiences of the attachment phase all over again.

Except this time? Magnify it by 100.

Yes. And as the months go by? It gets worse. Now at 19 months old? It's probably the worst it has ever been. Actually this past month in general. 18-19 months.

Here is what I'm talking about...
As soon as she wakes up... "Mama mama mama...."
If we go to grandma's house and I go upstairs? She runs and pouts at the bottom of the stairs... "Mama... Mama... Maaaammmmmaaa..."
If we are swimming.... it's "mama mama mama"

Now, if you want the honest truth about how I feel about this phase, I'd have to say that I absolutely and utterly love and adore how she feels about me. However... it does bother my husband, and in return, it bothers me. Because it hurts to see her swing her arms against him or scream at the thought of him taking her out of my arms, and yell at the top of her lungs and fling her body from side to side when he tries to cuddle her. She's extreme.

So yes, I love love love that she is so attached to me and adores me so much... but I'd just wish that she would share this adoration with husband.

And sometimes, I'd like to not be the only one that she must have her swim around in the pool with. Or put her to bed. Or feed her. Or anything else.

Now, if I'm not home for whatever reason? She is perfectly fine. She is loving and cuddly with Andrew and very needy towards him. She doesn't whine or complain, cry or yell out. Nothing.

It's only when I'm around.

And I know everyone says that I spoil her and give in to her.... but the reason I do is because I want to. Because I love when she yells out for me. Because it warms me up when I see her light up at the sight of my face. Because I secretly hope that it stays like this forever.... even when she turns 16. {I hope}

So yes, I know this phase will pass soon. And we'll forget it ever was around. But in the meantime? I'll enjoy every minute I can of it...

Especially, while its still me and my girl.
{and although this was written months back... E is 23 months old now...no worries... we are still very much mama mama mama}