Sometimes... it's better not to say anything at all.

One of the things that I try my hardest to do on this blog is be real. Be honest. Be open. And never hold back. 

One thing that I tried to do before writing this particular post is hold back. Not write this post. Not be honest. Not open. And just try to ignore these feelings that kept nudging back at me, time and time again.

But that wouldn't be right. It's not who I am and it's not what I believe in. And this blog means too much to me to just sit back and not let my thoughts be heard. After all, it's my little space of freedom. It's something for me to look back on. Learn from. And grow. And I think I owe it to some people out there to voice those opinions, let my thoughts be heard, speak from the heart and sometimes add a little humor into my emotions. Because someone, somewhere out there is saying.. "I know what you mean..."

You see. I started blogging because it was an outlet for me. I like to write. I like to share. I can have something on my mind all day, but the minute I put it into writing... I let go of those thoughts. I let them free. And honestly, I feel better.

I also blog because it's a way for me to connect with others. Others who have been there, "done that", and can give me positive feedback. The key word here is positive. They don't have to necessarily agree, but give me substance. Give me advice. Show me the way.

I cannot say that I am able to please everyone. And frankly? That is okay. I do not expect people to agree with all my feelings or understand what I am going through. I don't expect that out of anyone. I don't need comments saying "you go girl" or "you are so right" to keep me going. Absolutely not. I will write, and continue to write, whether or not someone likes it. Why? Because I do it for ME.

Me. Me. Me. Let me be selfish here for a minute and again reinforce ME.

Using words like "I wouldn't do this... or I would never.... or I think that is sad and wrong... or worse... " is not positive. It's in fact negative. To me what you are saying is "I, I, I, I" and comparing yourself to me. There is nothing to compare to. We live completely different lives. We walk in completely different size shoes. We experience life differently. We think differently. We react differently. No two people are the same. No two situations are the same. No two families are the same. And no experience is like the other.

What's even worse? The people that have absolutely nothing but hateful things to say. Things like "sounds like your kid needs training, not the dog." Shame on you. Shame shame on you to EVER talk about another person's child. Despicable. Pitiful. Absolutely inexcusable behavior. And the only person that needs training, is you. Train how to be a normal kind human being.

Now? Saying "I can't imagine what you are going through. I can't imagine ever being in that situation. I can't imagine what I would do in that situation." That right there is honesty. Because you are acknowledging that although you may not agree with what I am saying... it's not because you know it all and have been through what I have, it's because you haven't experienced what I have gone through, and based on your life, what YOU have experienced, you honestly just can't imagine this situation.

I was that girl.

I was that girl that couldn't imagine what people were talking about when they said that their dog drove them bonkers. I was that girl that thought these people were just being inpatient and not giving the dog a chance.

I was that girl that told her mother-in-law just days before bringing home our baby girl that she is ridiculous to EVER think that my dog would become "just a dog" after the baby came along.

I recall saying to her, "No Kim, he will ALWAYS be my first baby."

That even, hold me for this, that EVEN if he ever bit Elliana that I would NEVER get rid of him. No, he has never bit her, nor gotten close, but I tell you now... now that I have this child, now that I KNOW what it is like to love a human being far more than any fur animal... now that I KNOW... No dog, no person out there will EVER harm my child. And if you think that a person who gives a dog up because they bit a child or are aggressive to them is wrong, then shame on you. Shame shame shame on you. Because the next step is death. And as a parent, you do EVERYTHING possible to protect your children.

But again, how would you know this unless you have been in that situation? You wouldn't. And you don't. And you don't know what you would do unless you are in that situation. Some people may find other solutions, some people may decide to let the dog go, some people may learn to live with it.

That is their decision to make. That is their life to live.

It is neither wrong, nor sad, nor inhumane.

It is what I like to call LIFE. Life throws us curveballs. Life makes us rethink all those times we said we would never do this or that. Life makes us make decisions sometimes we hate to make.

We are no where close to giving up our dog. We love him. He belongs in our family. But, I can't say we never will because I cannot tell you what the future holds. I cannot tell you what experiences will be placed before us, and I cannot tell you what we, as a family, will decide to do with those experiences.

What I can tell you is this.

I have been there when I could have very well lost my pregnancy as well as my baby girl all because of  a situation that was caused by my own dog.

I have been there when a grown man locked himself into a room that I had to burst open only to find him sitting in the corner like a child with his hands around his face and tears rolling down his cheeks because in that moment this dog, that we have called our baby for years, that we love and cherish, that we couldn't imagine our lives without, was causing a break in our family.

I have been there when I would find myself absolutely frustrated and at a loss for words. Not knowing what to do next. Not knowing how to "fix" things. Not knowing what we could do

I have been there because they are my experiences, my life, my family, and my animal.

There are people who have been through similar situations. Have gone through similar things. Can see their own life playing out in front of their eyes as they read my own experiences.

But there are also people who have not. Who haven't been there, haven't "done that." And just don't know.

I don't expect those people to understand. Whether in this particular situation, or any other situation that I write about in my life. I don't expect them to agree. And I don't expect them to put themselves in my shoes.

What I do expect is that if they don't know, if they can't compare, if they can't "imagine" what I'm going through, that they instead provide me with words of encouragement. Words of wisdom. Send me links to pretty pictures of puppies {thank you to the person that did that}. Send me advice on what to do with pets like these {thank you to those that I did, it means a lot}. Tell me what worked for you, or what didn't. Let me know that I will ultimately make the decision that is right for me an my family.

That is a powerful thing to do. To step back. Not agree with something, but just provide support.

And if we can't do that? If you absolutely just can't bring yourself to say anything positive about a particular situation?

Then just don't say anything at all.

It's one of the best lessons in life.