Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Confesh Sesh

Written a couple of months ago {as the stamps now come in handy a couple months later}

-My heart always hurts a little when I see old people out eating lunch by themselves. Or those that walk really slow, struggling. I just want to go sit with them and talk to them.

-I will not eat the yolk of the egg when its hard boiled. Ever. However, I will if we go out to eat or husband cooks some eggs. Over easy, just the way I like it.

-Did you know though that one egg has 73% of your daily Cholesterol intake. You do now.

-Did you know that my husband has high cholesterol {hereditary}. So he takes medicine. I married an old man.

-I cannot just buy one thing on sale at the grocery story. I have to buy multiple. Bulk. Why? Because its on sale, why else.

-You want to know what is really good that I used to eat all the time? Cucumber and sugar. OH MA GAH. Lick your lips right now. That good.

-You want to know what also is really good with cucumber? Just deli meat and tomatoes. I lived off that in College. Well... that and ice cream, brownies, and vodka. Usually the opposite order though. And greasy pizza and cheesesticks.

-I used to eat raw hot dogs all the time.

-I also used to eat a whole package of bacon every day.

-I ate two bagels the other morning. I know, shoot me. The problem is, I could have eaten even more. Cream cheese and all. Pregnancy is in full gear in this household. How I have only gained 11 pounds? I have no idea.

-The stamps on my envelopes when I send mail out? Christmas ornaments. Why? Because I had husband buy way too many last year and I have enough to last me until this Christmas. That means if you have ever received mail from me this past year? It's been a glimpse of Christmas for you. And? I kind of like it. To the point that I think I'm going to tell husband to get extra this year again, too.

-I went to my parent's house the other day. My mom proceeded to tell me that her dog {a sharpei} somehow got a chunk of his skin on his face to peel off. My parent's solution? Super glue. I wish I made this stuff up. I wish I did.

-Speaking of mom. When I was over at her house... a telemarketer calls. She answers. "Hello.".... the person on the other line speaks. She says, "Hello." The person speaks some more. She says "Hello." And then you hear snickers on the other end. "Have a good day ma'am."

And me? Well I was literally grabbing my stomach laughing so hard.

Telemarketers? Don't call my parent's house... mom will only play jokes on you.


  1. haha, this post is great. i needed the giggles. thank you :)

  2. I have such a soft spot for old people, I cannot deal when I see them out having a tough time. It kills me.

  3. I will have try the "Hello" out on telemarketers! Great post!

  4. I am the same w. egg yolks, but will eat over easy eggs

    I literally LOLd you calling your husband an old man

    lol @ super glue..

    its fun to play jokes on telemarketers! They are annoying so why not mess w. them!

  5. I know people that use super glue on their own cuts.

    My BIL use to tell telemarketers that the person they were asking for died and the he would start crying.

  6. A whole package of bacon? You're my best friend . LOL

  7. Loved this post! :)

    A whole package of bacon?! Wow... I wish!! Yum! ;)

    I used to love raw hotdogs too. Haven't had one in ages.

    Mmm I'll have to try the cucumber and sugar!

  8. My mom used to get really bad cracks in her fingers during the winter time since she works outdoors and she totally put super glue in them... crazy, but it worked.

  9. omg the superglue! That is hilarious! But I have to admit, my hot glue gun is my go to hehee. And I never eat the egg yolks of HB eggs either...I just get so grossed out thinking about them!

  10. I die. Literally over the shar-pei comment! I have a sharpei and she is FOREVER ripping her skin open. Its part of their deal. Super glue literally is one of the only things that works. You cant stitch it b.c it just rips more and it heals so fast - just use the super glue ... or some A and D ointment :)

    I die over the "hello" - Does your mom have an accent?? I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to try it on a telemarketer but I have a feeling you need an accent for it REALLY to work!

  11. I love how your mom dealt with the telemarketer I am totally doing that next time - LOL!

  12. I love how your mom dealt with the telemarketer I am totally doing that next time - LOL!

  13. Cucumbers dipped in thousand island dressing is also amazing!

  14. I also get sad when I see an older person eating by themselves. I can't help but picture myself or my husband in that position...

  15. Hahaha that is amazing, your mom is awesome.

    RAW hot dogs?! Are you on crack? How are you still alive?

  16. Hahahaha love this! I'm so with you on the old people. Actually old people in general. Like old, old couples? Eep. Pick me up off the ground if they're doing something cute like holding hands.

    I'm totally totally trying cucumbers with sugar like, ASAP. Perfect timing because I just bought a cucumber today. And how in bananas are you so thin with this favorite food list? Jealous over here!

  17. I love everything about this post. Why arent we best friends?

  18. has to be mad mushroom cheese sticks at purdue! yum!

  19. Okay, I cracked up over your parents using superglue on their dog. That is hilarious!


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