When I picked the kids' halloween costumes, there was no particular reasoning behind it. I knew I wanted them to have some sort of coordinating theme, and I left it up to E to decide which one it would be. So clarification, Elliana picked them. I mean, it was basically me showing her a screen full of different costume pictures and asking her what she wanted to be out of those. And we all know that when toddlers are given too many options, they sort of tend to pick them all.
Superwhy!.... you mean... super girl?
Basically, that's how it went. She showed the most excitement over the batman outfits so we went with that. I know I've already written in a prior post how her batgirl outfit never shipped from the company and therefore we had to pick a different option- super girl, but for the story's sake, I'll go ahead and mention it here. Her outfit never shipped and we had to go with another superhero. Got it.
Regardless, she was a super hero and that is what was most important. In her eyes.
I know I'm getting off course here, and although it may seem like I am going to talk about Halloween and do a little recap, I assure you, I am not. You see, I wanted to talk about the super hero outfits. Yes, they were just outfits initially, but being the sap that I am, when they put those outfits on for the first time and ran around the house giggling up a storm, I couldn't help but feel this overwhelming amount of emotions come over me. And as they sleep right next to me right now, I have the same emotion come over me.
That's how I feel. These children-they saved me. They saved me from the person that I was, and have molded me into the person that I am. Continue to mold me into who I am and who I am supposed to be. Not that I was ever a bad person or did bad things, but I knew that there were things about me that needed changing. Still needing changing. So when I look at them, my children, I am reminded of so many things that I could do differently. So many ways that I can be a better person, a better wife, a better mother. So many ways that I can loosen up, relax, and just live. I see my own flaws. Things I need to work on. I see how my actions are reflected on others. I just see a lot through their eyes, and even through the simple things in life- like a halloween costume.
They are super heros you know. Our children. All children. I believe that 100%. I believe that they are put onto this Earth to make us better. That although we feel that as parents it is our duty to make them grow, to teach them, and to show them the way through life, I believe even more that they are here to teach us, to make us grow, and to show us the way to a happier life.
Too often, we are so stuck in the busy of life; the constant over-filled schedules, the numerous projects around the house, the commitments and promises we make to others, on top of the everyday responsibilities of taking care of a family. We are so stuck in it that we rarely get to just enjoy life. Not the kind where you go to the beach for family vacations, or go to the lighting of the Christmas tree, or make little memories with your family on the weekends. We do all that. But I'm talking about ehe kind where you throw the dirty laundry on the floor, pile the filthy dishes up high, and lock those to-do lists away. Heck, throw them away. Then you do things like run around the house with your half-naked children, spill half the cake mix on the floor while baking with your daughter, and let them eat a sucker before dinner. Even share it with them. Miss your appointments. Press snooze on your alarm clock. And click ignore on your cell phones.
I know. I know. We all have done something like that before. Where you let go of life and just enjoy your family. We have to. It's what keeps us sane. It's what keeps us grounded. But I ask myself this often... do we do it enough? Do we balance the carefree with the order. Because we all still need order and consistency in our lives, especially the children. But is there also enough of the life left in us? Do we let go enough. Do we allow our children to see us in the way that we want to be seen. Think about it that way.
Those children. They are born with that life. They are born with so much of it, and they just want to share it with us. Some people may view that life in them as being wild, but I think it's because we are so far gone in living in this perfect nutshell of a life that society has beautifully painted for us, that we tend to forget that the ones who are abnormal here are the adults. Us. Not the children.
Those children. They lose that innocence, that free-spirit, that zest and love for life because they are quickly molded into these little human beings that we are told that they should be. And then they grow up to be like us. Grown adults, with grown up responsibilities, big girl and big boy jobs, and a whole lot of stress and to-do lists.
Those children. We were them. I remind myself that daily. We were those little super heros that wanted to fly around and save the world. We used to run around the house breaking every rule, coloring on the walls because it's so much better than paper, and climbing up the kitchen counters to sneak in some cake that mom insists we can't eat until after dinner, and only if we eat all our veggies.
And then we grew up and became people that needed saving. People that needed reminders. People that needed a new direction in life.
Those children. They're super heros. Born and placed here to give us those reminders. Born to show us the beauty in life. Born to give us a new perspective, to save us, and to make us better.
So although I could be downstairs right now picking up from the tornado known as the aftermath of a third birthday party, I'd much rather just sit here quietly next to my children and reflect.
Reflect on how tomorrow I can be a SUPERmom.
I have a feeling that all it takes is just letting go.