The Second Time Around

I broke out. A lot. Post delivery. All around my chin area. It was the strangest thing. I never broke out during pregnancy with either one, however all of a sudden I looked like a teenager all over again. And the worst part about it? They were the painful ones.

My hormones are a little more in check {the teary ones}...I think this may have a lot to do with the fact that I don't get to sit around and watch sappy shows all day like I did with E. Which brings me to....

I never get to watch TV anymore. Very rare, and I only record one TV show now. One. I just don't have the time. Nap time? I like to devote to finishing up blog posts and other projects that I may be working on. At night? I want to spend time with my husband and throwing in loads of laundry. But when we do get to catch up on the tube? It's nice.

My hair didn't fall out. I was very much expecting this. But it hadn't. Or, shall I say, it still hasn't. With Elliana, I lost it and I lost it in large amounts and very quickly. In fact, I had these "mini" bangs for quite some time before they finally grew out.

The weight. It came off pretty quickly. However, I'm definitely a little more flabbier. Which, I know, people may get mad at me saying this.. "but you are so skinny, so tiny," I get that. I'm not saying I'm not. What I am saying is... it's definitely not the pre-kids body. Trust me. And I'm still allowed to be critical of myself, regardless the size of my jeans or the expectations people may have.

I don't feel like a zombie. Strange, I'm getting less sleep it seems and having to do MORE during the day. But I never had that zombie feeling that I had the first time around.

I read more. About parenting. About food making. About food in general. Health. Toxins. Products. I research more. I like to learn more. Really know what is around us and how it is affecting us. I feel like now that I have this motherhood thing by the horns, I want to truly master all the different aspects of it.

I just nod my head at the doctor. They are great to have. Trust me on this. I am thankful that I have a great resource and trusting physician. We attend all our well-visits. We ask the questions that need to be asked. But I no longer rely on the doctor having all the right answers. I remind myself that he is not the parent of my child. He is the expert on medicine, but not the expert on parenting. So I nod my head and say "yes" and smile until next time whenever little tid-bits of advice are thrown out there. Neither of my children have had to go to the doctor besides for well visits. Neither have had an ear infection, a fever, or anything that would alarm me. No Tyelnol, no cold medicine. We love our pediatrician. I have extended chats and discussions with him. But I do not always agree with everything. And that is okay you know, as a parent, to just follow your mothering intuition versus medicine. There is one thing that we do agree on 100%. And that is when he tells me, "You are doing a great job with your kids," after our well-visits. Yes, thank you, I know.

So yeah, I'd like to think that things are different the second time around, but what I really mean to say is that as time goes by, you really do gain more knowledge and wisdom as a mother, you read more, you want to do more, be more, love more, parent more. Better. Wiser. You learn from your mistakes, and you try to do thing differently.

You won't always know it all or have all the right answers, but somehow, it all works out.